The True Cowboy of Sunset Ridge (Gold Valley #14)(45)

“If Pansy needs to be involved...”

“Why would she need to be involved? It’s perfectly within her right to leave the baby under Colt’s care if she wants to,” Callie said.

“Fine,” Jake relented. “But the thing is if you’re doing this because of guilt...”

“Of course I’m doing it because of guilt. Why else does a person do anything?”

“Sometimes I forget how Catholic you both are,” Callie said, laughing.

“What?” Jake and Colt asked simultaneously.

“I’m just saying, you find guilt and martyrdom to be powerful motivators.”

Both of them huffed and snorted uncomfortably.

“So is... Who’s with the baby?”

“Mallory.” They both stared at him. “What? She wants to help.”

“It seems to me like you’re getting pretty involved with her,” Jake said.

“I’m not involved.”

“Why is she helping you?”

“Because she loves babies. And she happened to be right there when it all went down.”

“And you’re not... Attached to her?”

Colt ground his teeth together, stared off into the distance at the stunning view of the massive mountains, shocking and green against the backdrop of a deep blue sky. “I don’t do attached.”

“No, of course you don’t,” Jake said. “You barely do attached to me. Why would you be attached to some woman.”

“I’m attached to you,” Colt said, frowning.

“Are you?”

Something shifted inside of Colt, uncomfortable and heavy. “Sometimes I question why I’m back here.”

“I know I do,” Jake said. “You’re going to work here on my horse ranch forever?”

“I don’t... Are you rescinding the job offer or?”

“No. But you have your own damn money, and you don’t seem to like the work very much, so I’m not sure what you’re doing.”

“Penance,” Callie commented.

Colt shot her a glare.

She shrugged. “I call it like I see it.”

“Are you just punishing yourself?”

“No. Apparently I’m here to be second best for everybody. How about that? To be the one who came back from almost going on that trip to Alaska. When we all know you would’ve been better off if you’d have had Mom. To be the one left behind on the circuit, when if anybody should have died because of dumbass, drunken behavior, it should’ve been me and not a kid who was about to be a father. Because he had a woman who loved him. A little girl who would’ve loved him. And now about all I can say for it, about all I can say about anything is that... I’m here. And I can take care of her. So I will. And I don’t know why the hell else I’m here.”

The words felt like they left a trail of fire up his throat. They never talked about this before.

Of course, Jake knew full well what had happened the day of his parents’ accident. It had been Colt who was supposed to go with his father. Because the state of his parents’ marriage had meant that his mother hadn’t wanted to go on the trip to Alaska. But then things had changed. They gradually began to mend things, or so it had seemed. But, Colt was still going to go on the trip because he had been invited, and his mother hadn’t thought it was fair for Colt to lose the chance to go on the trip just because their marriage had improved. But at the last minute Colt had wanted...

He’d wanted to be a part of fixing things. Of making them better.

And for what? It was possible his father had been planning on leaving them all anyway.

It had cracked him open inside. Because really, really what was the point of the farce that they had engaged in? The one that had saved his life and condemned his mother to death. The one that had put her on a plane bound to break apart over the ocean and had taken him back to safety.

He didn’t know.

He only knew one thing. That the one good thing he could do right now is take care of Lily. Maybe the only good thing he could ever do.

“You know that’s not how anyone sees it.”

“You’re the only one who knows the truth, Jake.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s never mattered. I don’t even think about it.”

“Because if you did, you’d drive yourself crazy. God knows I do.”

“Colt...”

“No. I’m done talking. I’ve explained the situation with Lily. Now you know. She’ll be coming with me to Sunday dinner. Mallory probably will be too.”

He stared at them both. “I mean, she might as well. She’s practically family.”

And with that, he went to go finish riding the fences.



CHAPTER TEN


MALLORY STAYED UP at her cabin until the late afternoon. By the time she had finished doing all of her chores—most of which were accomplished with Lily strapped to her chest—she was a lot more exhausted than she could have ever anticipated.

She never would’ve thought that a one-week-old baby could be that taxing. Well, obviously she knew that babies were tiring, but that was when you were taking care of one instead of sleeping. Last night, she had gotten a very good night’s sleep, so she hadn’t really anticipated being this exhausted just carrying one baby that she knew for a fact weighed under ten pounds on her chest.