The Stand-In Boyfriend (Grove Valley High #1)(78)

I don’t wait to be told twice and rush past them, hurtling down the stairs, but there are too many people everywhere, too many people standing in the way, dancing and talking and laughing and standing between me and Chase. I look around frantically and start edging toward the kitchen.

Sophie appears in front of me.

“Chase?” I ask her. “Have you seen him?”

She frowns at the look on my face but shakes her head. I push past her, so, so desperate to get to Chase and explain things to him, but she grips my arm. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“I fucked up. I—” I begin to tell her, but when my gaze glances behind her I see Chase heading toward the door, Aaron close behind him, and I don’t finish my sentence. “Chase!” I shout it loud enough that everyone around me glances over, but Chase doesn’t halt. “Chase! Please, wait!”

He doesn’t slow down, but I know he hears me; I can tell by the way his shoulders have tensed up. Aaron glances back at me and shakes his head, a warning to leave it, but I can’t. I have a desperate need for him not to think badly of me, a desperate need to sort this out.

I push through the mass of people, people who are now looking between Chase and me, sensing that something is wrong, and I see Abigail and her group descend the stairs, their eyes on me.

Chase is through the door and halfway down the path before I manage to catch up to him. I reach out a hand to grab his shoulder and he whirls away from me like I’m toxic.

“Don’t,” he warns.

“Chase, I’m—I didn’t mean…I didn’t know.” I swipe my hands across my face in frustration. I need him to listen to me, to understand that I didn’t plan this and didn’t mean to hurt him, but the words don’t come out. I stand staring at him for what feels like an eternity and tears start to drip down my face. They slide down because this boy in front of me has come to mean so much to me, has been there when I needed him and even when I didn’t, and right now he’s looking at me like he hates me.

He still doesn’t say anything, just stares, his fists clenching at his sides.

“I’m sorry,” I finally manage to whisper. “I’m really, really sorry.”

He lets out a bitter chuckle, his eyes flashing. “Why? You got what you wanted, right? This is what you wanted all along.”

“Chase…” I force back a sob that is desperate to break free. “I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head in disgust. “Am I right, Liv? Did you get what you wanted?”

“I didn’t want it to happen like this.”

“Am. I. Right?”

Fresh tears drip down my face and I nod. Jessie is what I’ve wanted. He’s always been what I wanted. “Can I explain? Can we just go somewhere and talk?”

“What was going to happen if I hadn’t walked in?”

“What?”

“What was going to happen next?”

My face falls when I realize what he means. We were by Jessie’s bed, kissing, with clothes removed. Oh God.

“Chase—”

“Were you going to have sex?”

“Chase,” I plead, suddenly very aware of the crowd watching us. People have definitely followed us outside and I can feel eyes on me, watching, snickering. Jackson and Brendon have stepped up closer to Chase, clearly backing him, and without even having to turn my head I know Sophie is the presence I feel at my side. She might not know what’s going on, but she still has my back.

“Were you about to have sex? With Jessie? In his room?”

“Please, can we talk?” I ask desperately.

“Your shirt was off, Liv,” he says sharply, his voice laced with disgust. “Were you going to let him fuck you for the first time at a party with people lined up outside waiting for the room to be free?”

He says it so loud and it’s so quiet out here I have no doubt everyone heard that. Humiliation and shame wash over me, and I feel the tears fall heavier down my face.

Jessie appears at my side. “Chase—”

“Don’t fucking talk to me, man. I swear to God you don’t wanna come near me right now.”

“Chase, can we go somewhere to talk?” I’m practically begging at this point. I can’t have him thinking so badly of me. I need to change this.

He looks at me and I feel Jessie’s arm snake around my waist. I know he’s doing it for support, to let me know I’m not alone and he’s here for me, but at this moment it feels like he’s branding me as his and I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look in Chase’s eyes when he sees Jessie touching me in front of everyone and me letting him do it.

“You know what, forget it. None of this is real anyway, right?”

And that’s what is comes back to—this not being real. This fake relationship we’ve had for the last few months was based on lies. It isn’t real, but it is. This feels very, very real right now. It wouldn’t hurt this much if it wasn’t real.

“Chase, please.” I step away from Jessie and toward him. “Let’s just talk, please, just you and me. You wanted to talk, let’s just talk.”

“Nah, forget it. Fucking forget it all.”

“Chase—”

“It wasn’t real anyway, right?”