The Stand-In Boyfriend (Grove Valley High #1)(76)

I swallow hard. When she said my boy, my first thought was Chase. “Jessie? What?”

Hallie steps closer toward me, keeping an arm out for Maria to stop her from falling. “Jessie was looking for you, kept asking everyone where you were.”

“I’ve been outside,” I tell them.

“He looked upset, Livy.”

“I think I saw tears,” Maria throws in.

“What?” I ask in horror. “Jessie was crying?”

Hallie shrugs. “I don’t know. He was upset about something. He looked like his grandma just died.”

My stomach drops to the floor.

No. No. No. No matter what’s going on with me and Chase, or me and Jessie, this is his birthday, his big night that he’s looked forward to forever. He can’t be upset on his birthday. Guilt overwhelms me. I shouldn’t have ever agreed to this stupid idea. Now everything’s so confusing and the one person in the world I don’t want to hurt is hiding during his own party.

“Did you see where he went?”

Hallie jerks her head in the direction of the stairs. “Upstairs I think, something about wanting to find some quiet.”

I don’t even bother to say another word to them before I head toward the stairs, keeping my gaze down and avoiding eye contact with everyone. All I can think about are Jessie’s warm brown eyes filled with tears, and it’s enough to make me want to cry too. Whatever messed-up games I’ve been playing, it shouldn’t be affecting Jessie on his birthday. I need to find him, and I need to fix this.





I KNOCK QUIETLY ON JESSIE’S door and when I don’t get a response after a few moments, I ease it open slightly and slip through. The only light on is his bedside lamp, casting a warm glow over the otherwise dark room. Jessie’s sitting in his desk chair, staring out the window, legs stretched out in front of him as he swivels slightly in his seat. Despite the party being in full swing downstairs, you can only hear the faint sounds of laughter and music from here, like we’re cocooned from the world.

“You didn’t have to come up here,” he tells me.

“Of course I’m going to find you if you’re upset, Jess.”

He finally turns to face me, a rueful smile on his face. “You definitely would have before, but I wasn’t so sure about now.”

“Nothing’s changed,” I tell him, even though after tonight, I know that’s not true. I can’t define it, can’t quite put my finger on it, but something’s different.

“Everything’s changed.”

He stares at me for a couple of minutes and it’s so intense that I have to look away. I glance around his room, at his navy bedspread and pine furniture, at the room I know almost as well as my own, the room I’ve spent countless hours in over the last seven years, the room that belongs to the guy I’ve been infatuated with since the minute I met him.

“You should go back downstairs,” he finally mutters.

I shake my head. “Not without you. You’ve got the biggest rager of the year going on, and you need to go enjoy it.”

He stares at me for a second and then, “I’m so fucking angry.”

He didn’t shout, but it still makes me flinch. “I’m sorry—”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

That’s not entirely true. I could have been honest, could have not started playing this stupid game.

“Jess—”

“You haven’t done anything, Livy.”

“No, I knew things had gotten weird. I shouldn’t have brought Chase.”

“I’m not angry at Chase.”

What? “You’re not?”

He lets out a bitter laugh. “No. I’m crazy jealous of him, but I’m not angry at him.” He sighs and looks me right in the eyes. “How can I be angry with someone for doing something I was too dumb to do?”

My heart is in my throat. “What were you too dumb to do?” My voice is barely audible.

He stands up and takes a step forward. My hands are still clinging to the door handle behind me; I’m scared if I let go, I won’t be able to stand up. “To let myself fall for you. To admit that you’re exactly what I need and stop being so scared of it. To actually take a chance on us.”

Tears spring to my eyes. “You knew?”

A small smile plays on his lips. “Yeah, I knew.”

I swallow. “How long have you known?”

He shrugs and takes another step toward me. “A while…a long while.”

My face burns bright red and my eyes hit the floor. All this time, Jessie knew how I felt about him.

“Don’t,” he says. “Don’t look away, and don’t be embarrassed. I’m the one who should be ashamed.” I look back up at him in surprise, and his eyes are sincere. “Come on, Livy. I’ve always known you’re the coolest girl around—I’m not surprised Chase Mitchell is crazy about you.”

Something inside me turns cold at the sound of Chase’s name. I don’t want to think about him, not when Jessie and I are finally having an honest conversation. Up until a couple of days ago, I would have laughed at his words, at him actually believing Chase is into me, but now it doesn’t seem so funny.