The Stand-In Boyfriend (Grove Valley High #1)(73)
Chase pulls up to Jessie’s but there are so many cars lined up in his driveway and all along the street that he has to go farther down the block before he can park. When he does, I immediately unbuckle my belt and reach for the handle of the door.
“Livy, wait.”
I pause and turn to face him. He’s watching me closely, and I sit back in my chair and force a smile on my face.
“What’s up? We’re already running late, we should get going.”
He glances away from me briefly, weighing something up in his head before he turns back to me. “You’ve been pretty hard to get a hold of over the last couple days.”
I bite my lip, thinking of all the times I’ve let his calls go to voicemail and all the texts I’ve left unanswered. “I’ve just been busy, y’know? Homework and the bakery, helping with Scotty.”
He nods, but I can tell he knows it’s bull. He knows I’ve been avoiding him. I press my lips together and I’m pretty sure he’s going to drop it, but then, “You’re freaking out because of what I said by your car and because I kissed you when no one was around.”
I swallow hard. It’s scary how easily he can see through me, how well he knows me, but it’s not something I want to deal with right now. “No. No, I know that was nothing,” I say, because it’s easier to deny it than to face it. I force a laugh. “Don’t worry, I’m not reading anything into it.”
“We need to talk,” he says, not dropping eye contact.
“What? No we don’t. Everything’s fine, Chase. We’re friends and we have this agreement and it’s going well. It works.”
“Livy, I don’t—”
“Sorry, I mean, I know we said we’d end it soon—very soon—just tell me when and I’ll go with it.”
“I don’t want—”
“Honestly, Chase, don’t. It’s not necessary.”
Out of the corner of my eye I see him clench his fists on the steering wheel in frustration. I’m stopping him from saying what he wants and it’s not the first time, but I can’t hear it right now. I honestly don’t think I can deal with it right now. Instead I turn away and pull down the sun visor to look in the mirror. I swipe under my eyes, wiping away the remnants of my smudged eyeliner, and start running a hand through my hair. I know tonight will be full of kids from school who look like a million bucks and will have spent hours getting ready to make sure they look their best. I only had ten minutes to get ready, and it shows. I have barely a lick of mascara on my eyes, concealer to cover the odd blemish on my skin, and hair that could do with a good brushing. My outfit situation is even worse. I’m wearing skinny jeans and a loose fitting V-neck shirt I’ve worn a million times before. I’m feeling inadequate before I even get inside, and I’d bet money Courtney looks incredible. I don’t know what I’m thinking of trying to compete with her—or Abigail, for that matter, who will surely have gone all out to try to get Chase’s attention. No one can compete with her when she makes an effort.
Suddenly Chase reaches out and gently rests his hand on my arm. I freeze at the contact. “You don’t need to do that,” he tells me, pulling my hand away from my hair. “You look beautiful.”
My heart skips a beat and I force a chuckle, playing it off and turning to him. “Oh come on, you know everyone in there will look insane. I’m going to look like a total mess in comparison.”
“It doesn’t matter what you wear or how you do your hair, Livy—you’ll still be the prettiest girl at the party.”
A compliment like that from the most popular guy in school should make my heart soar, but instead his words make me want to cry and I have to bite my lip to keep from showing any sort of emotion. I don’t understand how this happened, how he crept up on me like this, how he got inside my head and is making me feel all sorts of confusing emotions for him. Jessie is my goal. He’s been my goal all along. “You don’t have to say that, Chase. There’s no one here to hear it.”
His eyes stare into mine and I beg him to let it go, to let me off the hook and make some flippant comment so we can return to normal and ignore this weird tension between us, this shift in our relationship that has gradually been coming for weeks but I’m only just noticing and am not ready to deal with. “Let’s ditch the party,” he says quietly. “Let’s go somewhere just you and me.”
I’m shaking my head before he’s even finished his sentence. “I can’t, Chase. It’s his 18th birthday. We’ve talked about it for years. I have to be here.”
I can see the hurt in his eyes at my rejection before he covers the emotion and nods in agreement. “Okay, but we do need to talk, Liv. I don’t want—”
“Why have you never asked me to kiss you in front of Abigail?” I blurt out. It’s been playing on my mind since he kissed me in the parking lot. When we agreed to this, his reasons were to get her to stay away so he could concentrate on soccer, but he’s never tried to kiss me in front of her, not once. “I mean, we’ve kissed in front of Jessie to get his attention, but never in front of her, and that’s the reason you wanted this, right? That’s why you suggested it in the first place?”
He doesn’t break eye contact with me. “I never needed to,” he tells me softly.