The Stand-In Boyfriend (Grove Valley High #1)(81)

She reaches out and squeezes my hand. “I don’t know, but make sure whatever it is, you do it because you want it. Forget everyone else. This is about you and what makes you happy, and you deserve to be happy, Liv. You deserve it all.”





MY MIND IS STILL REELING the next day. I can’t stop thinking about last night and everything that went down. I’ve barely left my room and I feel physically sick about the way Chase looked at me. I’ve texted him three times today but he hasn’t gotten back to me. I even summoned up my courage and called him when he didn’t respond, but my call got cut off almost immediately. He clearly has no interest in speaking to me. My mom can tell something is up, but I don’t feel like talking. I don’t feel like doing anything except wallowing in my own self-pity.

“Hey.” I look up in surprise to see Jessie standing in my doorway.

“Uh, hi,” I reply, my eyes darting around nervously. I wasn’t ready to face this yet. He sent me a couple of texts earlier but I told him I just needed some space today to process. I’m not ready to think about what happens next with Jessie.

“Can I come in?” he asks.

I nod, because, really? I can hardly send him away.

He enters the room cautiously and takes a seat opposite me on my bed. I don’t change my position, legs crossed and hands in my lap, not even when he shifts in closer to me.

“Are you okay?” he asks. His voice is so gentle that I meet his gaze, and that’s when I remember who this is. This is Jessie, my best friend. Yes, he has his faults, and yes, the timing yesterday wasn’t perfect, but he’s always meant everything to me.

I shake my head and my lips start to tremble. He’s shifted over and wrapped his arms around me in seconds, holding me tight and making me feel better than I have all day. He makes soothing noises and tells me over and over again that I’m okay until I start to believe it. Eventually I manage to get it together and pull back from him.

“I knew this would be tearing you up,” he tells me softly. “I knew you’d be hating yourself today.”

Of course he knows this. He’s Jessie; he knows me just as well as I know him.

“I just feel so guilty,” I tell him. “Chase looked so upset.”

He nods and a flash of sadness crosses his face. I suddenly realize how shitty that sounds. I kissed Jessie yesterday after he told me he loved me and all I can do is talk about how bad I feel about Chase.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I shouldn’t be saying this to you.”

“No.” He holds his hand up to stop me from saying anything further. “You can tell me anything—you know that.”

I offer a weak smile. I can’t tell him anything. If I could, I would have told him how I felt about him and this whole mess would never have happened, but then I would never have gotten to know Chase and I don’t want that either.

It’s like he can read my mind. “You do know that, don’t you, Liv?”

I shrug and sigh. I’m done lying to him. From now on, I have to be honest with Jessie. “I don’t know.”

He stares at me for a minute, his eyes taking in every part of my face as I stare back at him, not turning away, taking in every inch of Jessie Stephenson, the guy I’ve known for seven years and have been in love with for almost as long.

“I’ve been an idiot, a total fucking asshole.”

I don’t say anything. I don’t agree or disagree, but Sophie’s words from last night play on a loop in my head.

“I get why Sophie wouldn’t let you stay with me last night. I get why when I spoke to her earlier she was pissed and told me to leave you alone for now.”

“Yeah?”

He nods. “I’m a selfish dick who couldn’t see what he wanted until someone else had it.”

I almost smirk. I’d bet money Sophie used very similar words when talking to him.

“And the way I’ve behaved has hurt you and upset you and I don’t deserve another chance, but I promise you, Livy, I wasn’t lying yesterday. I do love you.”

My breath catches. He’s not taking it back and he hasn’t changed his mind. “You mean it?”

He nods and a smile traces across his lips. “I’ve loved you for a really long time, I was just too dumb to figure it out earlier.”

Despite everything, my whole body ignites at his words and I have to blink back tears—tears of happiness this time, because everything I’ve ever wanted has just come true. Jessie Stephenson just confirmed that he loves me.

“How…” His voice turns hesitant and he glances down at the bedspread, chasing lines on the cotton, not meeting my eyes. “How do you feel about me? After, you know, after you and Chase…”

The sound of Chase’s name sobers me instantly, but then I push the feeling away. Jessie and Chase are completely separate entities in my life, and that’s the way they have to stay, because I owe it to Jessie to give us a chance. More than that, I owe it to myself. I owe it to myself to see things through with him. I’ve waited years for this, and there’s no way I’m turning away now, not after I’m so close to getting everything I’ve ever wanted.

“I, uh…” I steel myself. “I pick you.” His whole body relaxes. “I pick you, Jessie.”