The Resurrection of Aubrey Miller(56)

Palmer: Why is that?
Me: Because you gave me hope. You made me believe that I could be something that I’m not. That I could be happy. That I could have things that I was never meant to have.
Palmer: Such as.
Me: Love.
Palmer: (Leans forward again) Why do you feel that you can never experience love?
Me: (Shrugs shoulders) Because death annihilates love. I am death. I’m not meant to love. It’s a proven fact, Doc.
Palmer: I see. And your second reason for coming here?
Me: Confirmation.
Palmer: What do you need to confirm?
Me: (Sighs and rises to leave) That no one can help me now. Not even you.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

My head is spinning so I just sprawl out on my living room floor in my pajamas among the trash and vodka bottles that litter it. I can’t stop staring at the fan, even though it’s making me sick as it keeps going round and round and round. My head bobs as I watch it, identifying with its repeated motions.
Round and round and round.
Spiraling.
Sinking.
I close my eyes. Round and round I go in my darkness as I drift off to sleep.
“Jesus Christ, Bree.” A familiar voice barely stirs me from my rest, but I don’t open my eyes. I just lay there and allow it to take me to another place as I dream. I dream of the heat of Kaeleb’s body, his soft lips as they mesh with mine, the taste of his tongue as he kisses me in a way that only he can. His touches aren’t sloppy or rough. They’re perfect as I allow them to blanket the constant ache in my chest. The one I still refuse to acknowledge but is always there.
And as my body lifts in my dream, I inhale his scent deeply and wrap my arms around his neck, holding him tightly as I’m tenderly reminded of his loss. The feeling of being near him soothes my heart, my mind and my soul. I lose myself in it as I drift further into sleep and for the first time in a long while, my body hums with contentedness, relaxing and unwinding as his essence carries me away.
I remain there as long as I can, until light begins to penetrate through my closed lids and the rolling of the road enters my consciousness. My head is pounding, my mouth is parched and pasty, and my body is trembling from the amount of alcohol my body was forced to process last night.
Slowly, I peel my eyes open, only to cover them with my hands at the bright light surrounding me. What the hell? My room is never this bright. Ever.
A harsh snicker fills my ears, the familiarity sending an erratic set of jolting shocks through my system.
“Some things never change I see. Once a vampire, always a vampire.”
My heart sputters and then begins to race, increasing the rate and intensity of the throbbing in my aching head.
Oh. My. God.
Shock morphs into anger as my hands drop to my chest and my eyes fly open, only to fall into a squint when they’re harshly reacquainted with the sun.
I twist my neck and shield my eyes to see Kaeleb sitting in the driver’s seat of his car, no smile on his face and his hands on the wheel. I reach over to the side of the seat and lift the lever, catapulting me into sitting position.
“What are you doing? How did you get into my apartment?” I shout, immediately wincing afterwards.
Another laugh is released with no absolutely no humor in its tone. “It turns out I not only have ninja hands, I also possess ninja charm.” His eyes remain forward. “Seeing as how you refuse to speak to me, I’ve been forced to keep tabs on you through Palmer. He called me yesterday, worried, and asked me to check on you, so I spoke to the apartment manager and finagled a key.” He glances at me as he shrugs. “Ninja charm.”
My eyes roll into my head before breaking away from him to look out the window. Deciding it’s easier on my head if I take it down a notch, I ask, “Where are you taking me?” Glancing out the window, I catch site of a familiar town café which sends more excruciating throbs to my pounding head. And as I eye my surroundings, it becomes blatantly clear where he’s taking me. I’ve passed through this town every single time I travel to Linda’s.
Absolute dread overrules the prospect of pain, and I don’t even give him time to answer before shouting, “NO! I’m not going!” Panic floods my chest and I fiercely shake my head back and forth. My nails dig into the seat underneath me and then I draw my knees up to my chest, removing my grasp and hugging them tightly as my head continues saying what fear has robbed my voice from shouting.
“You’re going, Bree. I’m sorry. This has to be done.” Kaeleb doesn’t bother to look at me. He just flicks the turn signal and glides into the other lane before shutting it off.
“Kaeleb, please.” My voice breaks and moisture pools in my eyes as my chin trembles. “Please, don’t make me do this.”
“It’s not going to work this time, Bree. You aren’t going to be able to ‘Kaeleb, please’ your way out of this. Not today. This is too important.”
“Kaeleb—”
“So help me, Bree, if you say please again I will completely lose whatever self-control I’ve managed to contain thus far.” His jaw ticks and he pulls his attention away from the road, glaring at me. “Please is exactly what got you into this mess to begin with. Please is what landed you right back into this bullshit martyrdom while practically drinking yourself to death in the process. And please is why I was forced to sit back and do absolutely nothing while I watched it happen.”
He shakes his head. “Nope. No more pleases. Mark my words…This. Shit. Stops. Today.”
My mouth flies open, but Kaeleb cuts me off once again. “Save it. We can hash this out when we get there, but right now I need you to remain quiet until we arrive.”