The Resurrection of Aubrey Miller(60)

The person lying in the bed is completely unrecognizable.
Linda’s once full, long blonde hair no longer remains. Her head is completely bald. The shadows lining the tops of her hollowed out cheeks are so dark they’re almost black. Her skin is no longer fresh and glowing, but practically translucent, blue veins appearing amidst the excessive purple bruising along her forearms. Every bone in her body protrudes from beneath her skin, and as I watch her facial movements in her sleep, with each wince she unknowingly makes, I recognize that the pain ripping through her body must be unbearable. Even in her frailty, her strength is undeniable.
My free hand captures the gasp before it works its way out of my mouth and I force it back until it lodges with the boulder already present in my throat, making it impossible to breathe. My entire body quakes uncontrollably as I observe her from afar, every emotion possible racing through me as my heart slams repeatedly against my chest. I start to shake my head and take a step backward, but as I do, Kaeleb’s hand cups my cheek and forces my eyes away from her. I lock eyes with him, fear directing my movements as I continue to shake my head back and forth.
His thumb brushes away the tears streaming down my face, but he says nothing as his beautiful hazel eyes continue to hold mine, his expression stern but not uncaring. Clenching his jaw tightly, he releases his hold on my hand and curls it gently around the back of my neck before pulling me into an embrace. I nestle my cheek into his chest and fist the back of his coat, allowing his arms to hold me upright as I cry. Tears work their way from my eyes and trail slowly down my cheeks until they eventually fall to the floor. I focus on them, trying to nurture that flickering shard in my chest so that it may provide me the strength to face my fear.
To face Linda.
To face death as it stares me in the face.
Again.
I focus on my breathing, and it’s long after my cries taper off that I finally manage to pull away from Kaeleb. His face is still drawn tightly, but he places his hands on either side of my neck and tenderly wipes the remaining traces of moisture from underneath my eyes. He glances down at his mascara-coated thumbs, and then back to me before stating, “Now these kind of black smears are acceptable,” and throwing me a light-hearted wink.
I roll my eyes, but can’t deny that his humor is exactly what I need in this moment.
Of course, I don’t tell him that. I just give him a light shove in the shoulder, causing him to chuckle under his breath.
Drawing in a calming breath, I give him a nervous smile, shrug off my coat, and finally turn to Linda.
Step by step, I make my way to the side of her bed.
When I arrive, I try to maintain my composure while my fingertips tenderly brush along the bruises that darken the skin of her forearm. My eyes travel over her face, her chest, her hands, her head…every part of her that I need to familiarize myself with before waking her.
And when I feel I’ve absorbed the pain, the guilt, the sorrow, the anger—all those overwhelming emotions I haven’t allowed myself to feel for so long—I let them all combine, further cultivating the light within me as it pumps courage into my veins, light that I never thought myself capable of having.
Strength drives my voice as I lean over and whisper in her ear, “Linda. It’s me. I’m here.”

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Linda’s eyes drift open, the green color not as vivid as I remember. She twists her neck slowly, painfully, to meet my gaze and my chin trembles as I reach forward. Running my fingers along the depressed area of her cheek, I give her as much of a comforting smile as I can muster.
She raises her hand to cover mine and I eye the I.V. to make sure it stays put as she clenches my fingers tightly. Her chest rasps as she works up the strength to whisper, “I knew you would come.” She breaks her stare as she looks over my shoulder, tears sliding from the corners of her eyes. “Thank you.”
Glancing behind me, I see Kaeleb offer her a slight smile before dipping his head. “You’re welcome.” He turns away, removing his coat and placing it with mine in a chair before heading toward the door. “I’m going to give you ladies time to catch up. I’ll be back soon.”
I watch as he leaves, before twisting back in Linda’s direction and taking a seat next to her. She releases my hand, setting hers softly on my leg before trying to prop herself up higher against the pillow. She begins to cough, each one deeper than the last, until she frantically signals for something on the other side of the bed. I jump up and run to where she’s pointing and retrieve the trashcan with the biohazard lining, holding it up to her as she continues hacking. Taking it from me, she presses her mouth against the side, finally ridding her lungs of the blood as it dribbles down the liner. My feet haul me to the bathroom and I fist some paper towels from the dispenser, marching even more quickly as I return to her side to wipe her mouth. Her eyes are apologetic as she leans back, still holding the trashcan, clearly exhausted from the episode.
“I’m sorry, Aubrey,” she says, her raspy voice filling the air. “I hate that you have to see this.”
My head shakes furiously. “No, I should have been here all along.” Taking my place beside her, I reach forward to stroke her face again. “I’m the one who should be saying I’m sorry, not you.”
Her lips lift into a weak smile. “I’ve missed you so much.”
I return the gesture, taking her cold hand into mine. “Me too.”
We remain quiet for some time, both taking note of the many differences in our appearances since the last time we saw each other.