The Resurrection of Aubrey Miller(63)

Kaeleb takes in a deep breath, then turns his head, giving me an encouraging smile. “She’s really good actually. She’s been in some pretty intensive therapy since she left. Working out her issues and focusing on her relationship with her parents.” He looks forward again and signals to change lanes.
“She had a long discussion with her mother. It seems she was mainly concerned with Quinn’s lack of self-confidence when she was younger and made a simple suggestion that she start eating healthy and exercising. In Quinn’s mind, that turned into things like fat camps, which wasn’t the case.” He glances at me from the driver’s seat.
“The camps were for confidence, and pageants were for self-esteem.” He releases another lengthy sigh. “But, I don’t blame her for thinking the way she did. There’s only so long you can live in your head before your view on certain things gets…distorted.”
He cocks his eyebrow before turning back to the road.
“Yeah,” I answer absently, lost in memories of that horrific night. “I feel so stupid though, you know? I thought she was getting better. I wanted her to get better so badly I ignored everything in my gut that was telling me otherwise. She could’ve died because I chose to remain oblivious to it all.”
Kaeleb reaches across the console and takes my hand in his, gingerly stroking it with his thumb. “I think we’re both guilty of overlooking certain aspects that should have never been ignored. But you also have to realize, some battles just aren’t yours to fight, no matter how desperately you want that person to get better.”
His eyes are full of certainty as he looks over at me, wordlessly communicating that the meaning of his statement isn’t solely about Quinn. My lips curve up gently before I set my other hand on top of his and give it a light squeeze before looking forward.
As I watch the terrain passing by, I inwardly sigh, grateful to have Kaeleb back in my life, only if it is just as a friend. I refuse to consider the possibility of anything more. Regardless of what my heart wants, my head knows that it’s just not an option at this point in my life.
This time is for Linda and Linda only.
Not much more is said during the car ride as we become lost in our thoughts. We arrive at my apartment and Kaeleb drops me off, leaving me with a kiss on the cheek and a promise to call often.
After I’ve taken care of everything, I throw my bag into the trunk of my car and head to campus to hang the fliers I made to sublet my half of the apartment. Quinn’s was paid through the rest of the lease, so only mine needs to be taken care of until May.
When all fifty fliers are hung around campus, I head to my very last stop before going back to Linda.
Entering the Psych building, I breathe in deeply, the familiar stale air reminding me of my many sessions in Palmer’s office. So much has happened since the first time we spoke, and I’m reminded of every single event as I make my way to his office.
Once I reach his door, I take in one more deep breath before knocking.
As soon as it opens, I’m greeted with surprised eyes and a familiar grin as Palmer takes in my appearance.
“Aubrey, it’s good to see you again,” he says, gesturing for me to enter.
“You too, Doc,” I respond with my typical playful punch to the arm. I take my usual spot on the couch while he takes his seat.
His eyes continue to wander over my face until he reclines in his chair and crosses his ankle over his knee.
“You seem as though you’re feeling better than the last time you visited.” He steeples his fingers over his lips and I smile at the clichéd gesture that he falls into so often.
“I am. I, uh, I guess you could say I had a breakthrough over the last couple of weeks.”
He nods. “That’s good, Aubrey. That’s very good. What, if you don’t mind me asking, brought on this breakthrough?”
I glance at the blanket beside me and run my fingers along its fringe before answering. “Well, Kaeleb basically kidnapped me. That’s what started it. Thanks for that, Doc.” I give him a disapproving look in jest, and Palmer’s chuckles fill the air. “He took me to see Linda. When I walked into that hospital room and witnessed how hard she was fighting, everything just kind of made sense. My own issues seemed so trivial in the grand scheme of things.” I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know. It’s hard to describe.”
Palmer drops his hands from his face and leans forward, placing his foot on the ground and his elbows on his knees. “There’s no need. I understand what you mean.”
“Well, anyway, I’m here to say thank you. For everything. Your patience, your guidance, your willingness to just listen. Without you, I wouldn’t be sitting here as the person I am today. So thank you.”
My face breaks into a smile as his cheeks begin to redden. “You’re very welcome, Aubrey. Like I said, I’m always here, even when you don’t need me anymore.”
“Well, that’s the thing, Doc. I might be in need of your guidance over the next couple of months…if you don’t mind.”
His eyebrows rise and he tilts his head, curious.
I clear my throat.
“Linda, well, she’s not doing well. I’ve withdrawn from classes this semester in order to stay with her.” He nods slowly in understanding as I continue to speak. “I just wanted to ask you if it would be okay to call you, you know, if I need to talk?” I finish, my voice sounding timid with the question.
“Of course, Aubrey. Feel free to call anytime.” He rises and heads over to his desk, then returns and offers me his business card. “Day or night.”