The Resurrection of Aubrey Miller(66)

I guess you could say that I’ve been a bit reserved lately too, lost in memories of a time when she was healthy and happy. When the guilt comes into play over how much time I wasted, isolating myself as Raven, I balance it with a good memory as Palmer suggested. I focus on her beauty, her love, and her laughter. The random moments she would burst into my room, scaring the bejeezus out of me to perform some weird dance as an attempt to make me laugh. All the nights before bedtime, when she would lovingly brush my hair and tell me bedtime stories. The hugs and kisses that she so often gave me over the years, no matter how much I refused them. Many different memories have been running through my mind lately, as I try to replace all the bad with good.
Like when Adley and I built a fort in the middle of my bedroom after Mom and Dad went to bed, staying up all night telling scary stories, and the time that my parents threw me the only surprise birthday party I’ve ever had. All of us together, laughing and loving each other as we used to. And as I focus on the many happy memories I had stored away in my bins, the images in my mind begin to evolve. I let them flow freely, abolishing each bin after the memories are finally released. I’ve accepted that I won’t be needing them any longer.
My mother’s beautiful face eventually replaces the sunken one that haunted my mind. My father’s eyes are no longer lifeless and deserted. They are the right shade of bright blue that match mine, full of life and bordered by the crinkles of happiness that outline them as he laughs. And Adley is no longer the cold, naked body I cradled on the bathroom floor. Eventually, she’s the same angelic creature I remember—laughing and skipping through the house, giggling as I chase her down the hall.
So yeah, needless to say, between both of us being lost in whatever phase of acceptance we may be in, it’s been pretty quiet around here to say the least.
But as I see the expression on Linda’s face, I know what’s coming, and suddenly our silence seems like such wasted time. I find myself wanting to tell her about every single memory that’s crossed my mind this week. I want to talk about the stupid romantic movies she would make me watch, and the dumb plotlines for the romance novels she used to read. Things that I secretly found funny, but never told her. I want to shout from the rooftops so many memories that I now hold close to my heart as her mouth works strenuously to form her own words.
But my wants are not the priority here. It’s her time and she needs to have this moment.
Taking a long, calming breath in preparation, the bed dips with my weight as I perch on the edge. I grip her hand tightly and lean forward, watching her lips barely move as she says on a light breath, “I’m ready.”
She squeezes my hand and a tear trails down her cheek as her eyes meet mine. Full of clarity and the life that I’ve missed, she says her final words. “I love you, Aubrey…best thing to ever happen to me.”
A downpour of moisture streams down my face in this final goodbye. “I love you too, Linda.” Trying to swallow the sorrow, I wipe the tears before crawling into her bed and pulling Palmer’s ever-present blanket over the two of us, allowing the comfort it has provided over the last months to work its way through me as I wrap my arms around her shrunken frame.
Mumbling soothing words with my embrace, I hold onto her and don’t let go until she passes.

Chapter Thirty-Two

“God, Bree…”
Kaeleb trails off as he rakes over my new appearance. My hair is above my shoulders, back to its original color and cut into a slant bob that begins at the nape of my neck and ends just below my chin. I’m dressed in one of Linda’s vintage dresses; a simple black number with lace overlay that fits snuggly across my entire body from the square neckline and Juliet cap sleeve, clear down to where it ends sharply just below the knees. My Mary Janes are four inches high, thank you very much, complete with straps that cross overtop my feet. I’m also donning Linda’s favorite pearl earring and necklace set, the round balls off-white in color as they shimmer from my ears and neck.
“You look absolutely gorgeous. Dare I say, breathtaking?” he finishes.
Giving him a shy smile, I accept his compliment, noting the use of his familiar endearment and trying to ignore the flutter in my stomach at the sight of him. His hair is also freshly cut, shaved to the perfect length along the back and the sides, but longer at the top, styled away from his forehead, forming his signature off-center peak. A black button-up covers his upper body, snug across his chest, tapered across his waist, and his sleeves, of course, are rolled up over his muscular forearms. The charcoal pants complete the look, hanging low on his waist, accenting his perfectly toned derrière and covering his long legs until finally forming a crease across the top of his shiny, black slip-on dress shoes.
I know my thoughts about him are inopportune, seeing as though we’re heading to the church for Linda’s service, but something tells me she wouldn’t have it any other way.
“You too, Kaeleb. Really, you look amazing,” I respond, a warm flush racing across my cheeks.
The corner of his mouth tips up, and with a sexy smile, he enters the house. But as I begin to shut the door, he stops the movement with the tips of his fingers. Giving him an inquisitive look, he merely chuckles. “I’ve got a surprise for you. Close your eyes.”
My eyes tighten as they lock onto his, not really sure if a surprise is what I need today. I’m already nervous and a bit flustered.
Growing impatient, his head drops to the side, and I know his stubbornness will outlast mine, so I close my eyes and clasp my hands in front of my body as I wait. I hear some shuffling, then a familiar giggle fills the air. My eyes shoot open and my hands fly to my mouth.