The Resurrection of Aubrey Miller(64)

Standing, I take it from him and slip it into my back pocket before glancing back down to the couch. “Um, I know this is a weird request, but can I take this?” I gesture to the blanket.
His face breaks into a grin. “I take it you don’t have a problem with the blanket anymore?”
“No, the opposite actually. It’s given me comfort when I needed it most, and I would like to take it with me to Linda’s if that’s all right. I’ll bring it back.”
Palmer steps forward and clutches his fingers around the material before picking it up and handing it to me. “No need to return it. It’s yours.”
I accept it with a smile and cradle it to my chest as we walk to the door. Once it’s opened, I step outside his office.
“I mean it Aubrey, anytime.”
“Thanks, Doc.” Just as I turn away from him to leave, he clears his throat, halting my footsteps. Twisting back around, my eyes meet his.
“I’m really proud of you, Aubrey. Facing your fears isn’t easy. It seems you’ve done that and more since I’ve seen you last.” He pauses and peers at me, emphasizing his next statement. “You did all of that on your own. You thank me, but don’t forget it was your strength that got you to this point in your life. When you feel that strength wavering, just focus on that, okay?” His eyes are caring with his offered advice.
I nod my head and exit his office as my mind considers the inevitable.
I know the road ahead of me isn’t going to be easy. I know there will be moments I’m unsure and afraid. But it’s these moments that will define my future as they mold me into the adult I will become.
But I also know I’ll get through it.
I have no other choice.
I want no other choice.
Because such is life and I’m finally ready to fully embrace it.

Chapter Thirty-One

I called Quinn as soon as I got settled into Linda’s, and because of the person that she is, I was welcomed back into her life with a high-pitched squeal and the complete rundown on what had been happening in the months since I’d seen her last. A lot of things I already knew from Kaeleb, but I let her talk me through them anyway. We skated over what happened to me over the last year, but right before we hung up, we both said what needed to be said.
“Aubrey, I’m so sorry for doing that to you. It was really selfish of me. I know that what I did played a part in what happened with you and I don’t think I will ever be able to apologize enough for that.”
“Quinn, you needed help, plain and simple, and I chose not to see that. It’s just as much my fault as yours. So let’s agree to just leave it in the past and move forward, okay?”
And that’s what we’ve been doing ever since. We text multiple times a day and talk at least once a week.
This is our third text today.
Quinn: Dude, this guy sitting across the coffee shop from me is H-A-W-T!
Me: What? Your parents let you out unsupervised today?
Me: You’re taking too long to answer. Your mom is right next to you, isn’t she?
Quinn: Maybe. But that’s beside the point. Let’s get back to the guy.
Me: Description, please.
Quinn: Blond hair, clear blue eyes, shaggy hair. Surferish.
Me: Nice. Body?
Quinn: Drool worthy.
Quinn: OH SHIT!
Me: WHAT?!?!?
Quinn: He just looked at me and smiled. OMG! He’s got DIMPLES!
Me: Niiiiiice! Go say hi!
Quinn: Hell no. Not with Mom here.
Quinn: DOUBLE SHIT!!!
Quinn: He’s coming over.
Me: WHAT?!
Quinn: Hold on.
Five minutes later…
Quinn: OMG! He introduced himself as Tommy and then he totally asked if he could buy me a coffee. I said yes. So he did. And then HE LEFT HIS NUMBER ON THE COFFEE CUP!!!!!! How cute is that?
Me: He did all of this with your mother there?
Quinn: He totally did!
Me: I like him already. ;)
Me: Linda’s waking up. Gotta go. Talk to you soon.
Me: And call his ass.
Me: Love you.
Quinn: *giggles* Love you too.
I smile as I turn to Linda. Quinn’s excitement is just as contagious via text.
But my grin immediately fades.
Something’s wrong. I can tell by the expression on Linda’s face.
“Linda?” I rise from my chair and move to the side of her bed, taking a seat beside her fragile body. I’m no longer surprised by her gaunt frame, the pallor of her skin, the blood on her nightgown, or the sight of the few thin strands of hair poking out from the top of her head. None of these or any of the other horrendous manifestations to her body faze me anymore.
I’ve cleaned up vomit, blood, and excrement. I’ve nursed food into Linda’s mouth and wiped it off her face and neck when she refused to eat. I’ve dressed wounds that mysteriously appeared on her body due to the paper-thin skin covering her body. I’m now a pro at catheterization and can even put in an I.V. when necessary. There’s not much I haven’t been exposed to while caring for Linda. The majority of it hasn’t been pretty.
The past five months have not been easy, for either of us. In talking to Palmer, I learned about the five stages of grief, and could spot each one as Linda went through the phases. I went through them as well, because witnessing her impending death forced me to experience not only the grief of losing her, but also the grief of the loss of my family.
Denial and Isolation:
Well, for me, in all honesty, I’d been in denial for years. And I guess I did go through the isolation phase. Kaeleb called, I avoided him. Quinn called, I sent her to voicemail. I would text them to let them know I was okay, but that I just didn’t feel like talking, which they both respected and understood.