The Resurrection of Aubrey Miller(51)

But I know in my heart that it won’t be.
Because I know now.
I am death.
And I bring it to all who love me.
“Bree. Open your eyes for me.” A warm touch glides along my cheek.
“I’m here. Right beside you.” Kaeleb’s voice pulls me so that I am no longer bound within the memory. But there is no gasping. No need for air. I’m just numb. Hollow on the inside as his voice continues tugging, and I take flight, my body lifting towards the ceiling in the office where Daddy still lies below me, his face bloody and unrecognizable.
I watch from above as eight-year-old Aubrey Miller stands there, cataloguing the gory details of the memory, searing each one of them into my mind to ensure they will never be forgotten again. Once she’s done, she looks up at me, and with lifeless eyes and sorrow in her expression, she silently reminds me of why she should never exist. Of why I buried her in the first place and why she should never again be resurrected. I nod my understanding, casting one more glance to Daddy and then to the card lying in his lap, before slowly drifting back into the present.
My eyes open slowly, painfully, as the fluorescent lighting overhead burns into my irises. I blink them rapidly, trying to focus on the blurry image in front of me until it becomes clear. And so does the room around it as I’m slowly clued into the fact that I’ve landed myself in the hospital.
“There you are,” Kaeleb breathes, running his fingers down my cheek and then along the line of my jaw.
With the knowledge that I will be forced to say my goodbyes to him soon, the familiar sentiment pierces deeply into my heart, the pain excruciating. I grab onto his hand and press his palm against my face, leaning into its warmth as tears rise in my eyes. The knot in my throat aches right along with my heart as my eyes find his, the hazel orbs filling with unshed tears.
I know I have to, but I’m not ready to let go of him just yet.
I need more time.
Fear overwhelms me.
Fear from the memory of my father’s death.
Fear from the gory images as they replay in my mind.
Fear in knowing that I will be forced to watch it happen over and over, that they will never be contained again.
Fear in the knowledge that I won’t have Kaeleb by my side to take them away. I will soon be lost, not in him, but inside the recesses of the hell that is my mind.
These thoughts send me into sobs and as I hiccup them back, his arms curl around my shoulders and bring me to his chest. The scent that surrounds me only brings more tears as I clutch his T-shirt in my hands and pull him closer while he murmurs soothing sounds into my ear. His hands rub lightly along my back and my nose finds the crook of his neck, remaining there until the sound of a door opening disrupts the moment.
“Oh my God, Aubrey! You’re up!” I pull back from him, surprised at the sound of Linda’s voice as she enters into the room and shuts the door quietly behind her.
Her heels click on the floor as she makes her way to the side of the bed, holding two coffee cups in her hand. She hands one to Kaeleb, who releases me to take it from her, before she takes a seat right next to him.
“What are you doing here?” I ask her, my voice elevated from shock.
Kaeleb clears his throat. “I called her from your phone earlier. We, uh, brought you here after you passed out.”
Oh my God.
Quinn.
The bathroom.
Oh my God.
My eyes dart away from Linda to Kaeleb and he gives me a soft smile. “She’s fine. She’s going to be fine. They called her parents and they’re with her, right down the hall.” He reaches forward and covers my hand with his. “They said you saved her life.”
No, I didn’t.
I’m without a doubt, 100% sure that she was lying on that bathroom floor because of her association with me. But I don’t say that. I just redirect my stare to Linda. Her eyes are still puffy and bloodshot from our episode earlier. Her mouth dips into a frown as she says, “I’m so sorry, Aubrey. I know our discussion wasn’t easy for you, and then for you to walk in and find her in that condition…it’s no wonder you passed out, honey. It was a lot for you to take in.”
I make no response. I just shrug my shoulders as I’m reminded by her presence that Linda will be dying soon.
Kaeleb squeezes my hand and I transfer my attention to him. “The doctor wanted to see you when you woke up. Just to make sure you didn’t have a headache or anything that they should be concerned about. But I told him I didn’t think you hit your head so you should be able to be released soon.”
I inhale deeply. “Okay.”
Kaeleb narrows his eyes and angles his head, but before he can say anything, the doctor arrives. After a thorough examination, he gives me a clean bill of health and my release papers.
Once I’m up and on my feet, I shuffle to the bathroom to wash my face. Just as I close the door, I hear Linda and Kaeleb whispering, and they continue to do so until I reemerge. They cautiously watch me as I grab my purse. “I’m ready to go. Kaeleb, can you take me home, please?”
Kaeleb looks at Linda and then back at me. “Bree, I don’t think we need to go back there tonight. Why don’t you just let me take you to my apartment?”
I shake my head. “No, we have to go there. What about Walter?” I ask, knowing Walter isn’t the reason I need to go home.
Kaeleb eyes me for a second before answering. “I can run up and get him.”
“I need clothes.”
“I can get some for you while I’m getting Walter.” His eyes taper at the corners.
“I want to sleep in my bed,” I remark quickly, looking for any reason I can conjure.