Say You Love Me(52)

“We never discussed having sex, but we’ve had it.” I almost shouted. “And we also never discussed birth control, but you haven’t really seemed to care much about that.”

“Sally, I’m sorry.” His lips thinned. “It was irresponsible of me, I know that, but I just wanted you so badly that I wasn’t thinking.”

“Yeah, I get it. The sex was too good. I was too good. You felt too good.” I rolled my eyes. “I get that sex means more to you than a relationship.”

“What are you talking about? I told you that I liked you. This is about more than sex.”

“Is it?” I said and gazed at him, my eyes piercing into his, looking for honest answers to my questions.

“What are you asking me, Sally?” He chewed on his lower lip and I could see his heart beating as he chest rose quickly.

“What do you think?” I cocked my head to the side, not even caring that I was putting my cards on the line.

“Are you saying you want to be in a relationship with me?” The words tripped out of his mouth uncomfortably. “Are you saying that you want to date me? That you want to be my girlfriend?” He continued to stare at me with an impassive face and I just stared back at him, having no idea what he was thinking. Did he think I was crazy? Was he scared out of his mind?

“I would like to think that the person I’m sleeping with would also want me to be his girlfriend.” I said simply.

“We haven’t even been on any dates.” He said slowly, his eyes changing into an emotion akin to fear. “We don’t even know if we’d be compatible in a relationship. We don’t even know if we’d get on well.”

“Okay.” I nodded, his answer telling me everything we need to know.

“Okay?” He frowned. “That’s all you have to say?”

“What do you want me to say?” I said, and I could feel my entire body trembling. Tears were welling up in my eyes and I just stared at him. So handsome, so sexy, so lost. My love. My everything. My nothing because he wasn’t mine.

“I don’t know.” He said. “Maybe that you’ll just go along with things how they are and then we can rethink everything later.”

“Rethink what, Cody?” I shook my head at him. “What is there to rethink?”

“How we feel.”

“I know how I feel, you know how you feel.” I shrugged. “There’s nothing to rethink.”

“Sally, you’re really confusing me. This is the first time we’ve ever had a conversation like this. I don’t know what you feel. I don’t know what you want.” He shook his head.

“Then I’m just another crazy girl, I suppose.” I was starting to get angry. “How can you not know how I feel Cody? Are you an idiot? Are you blind? Do you think I would just come back with you and sleep with you because you’re such a smooth talker?”

“Maybe.” He cracked a grin, but it quickly fell from his face when he realized that I wasn’t in the mood for jokes.

“Everything is a joke to you.” I shook my head and reached down for my clothes. “I’m not going to do this anymore.”

“Do what?” He looked baffled and I could almost laugh. He really seemed to have no idea that I was in love with him. “You’re leaving? Did I do something wrong, Sally? I’m so confused right now.”

“You’re not the only one that’s confused.” I pulled on my clothes. “I’m bloody confused and angry.”

“What?” He grabbed my arms and held me still. “Look at me, Sally. You need to tell me what’s going on. I can’t read your mind. What the hell happened when I went down to watch football? I truly don’t understand.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m over it. I’m over you.” I was hurt and frustrated and all the hurt was coming out. I didn’t even care that he didn’t even know what I was talking about.

“Over me?” He frowned. “Sally?”

We both paused as my phone beeped from under the duvet. He pulled back from me and frowned. “Your phone is in the bed?” He walked over and pulled the duvet off and grabbed my phone. I bit down on my lower lip hoping that it wasn’t Luke texting me. Please please don’t let it be Luke texting me again, I thought. Please let it be Mila asking me how I was doing. Or something like that. The silence as he grabbed the phone and looked at the screen was painful, but I knew as soon as the tension hit the air and his angry red face looked at me that I wasn’t going to be so lucky. I knew before he even said anything that it was Luke who had texted me and that he had read the text.

“So you’re still talking to Luke.” He said, his voice deceptively low.

“Yeah, I am.” I nodded slowly. “Well, he text me today. To apologize and explain what had happened the other day.”

“Before or after we had sex?” He pursed his lips. “Before or after you went crazy.”

“I didn’t go crazy.” I glared at him. “And this has nothing to with him.” I waved my arms between us. “This has everything to do with us and just us.”

“Yeah, okay.” He shook his head in disgust. “Don’t even try and lie to me, Sally. Just an hour ago you were screaming out my name and now you’re putting on your clothes, mumbling some bullshit about relationships and being confused and not explaining shit to me. And you’re telling me that this has nothing to do with the text message that you just got from some dipshit guy that you’ve been seeing the last week, who wanted to put ice cream on your body and lick it off.”