Nobody's Lost (Rescue Me Saga #5)(66)
“How can you be so sure?”
“Trust me. Patrick’s more worried about whether I’m going to find a man to take over for him and protect me. With my total lack of interest in dating all these years, he probably figures he’ll be saddled with me forever.” She smiled and signaled for the server to get their check. “But if you need to know you’ll be welcomed into the family before giving me your answer…”
Overcome with emotion, he cleared his throat. He’d wanted to be part of a family for a long time. He’d blown it with his mom until it was too late, although he and Marcia still talked. He’d go with Megan to see her tomorrow. He hadn’t shown his sister what he’d become since his discharge, but his time of hiding was over. Not that he had conquered his fears yet.
“What if I can’t keep things under control?” He didn’t have to spell out to her what he meant.
“Then I’ll be at your side to hold you, and we’ll get through the bad times as well as the good. There’s nothing we can’t tackle if we’re together.”
“How can you be so sure? We’ve known each other less than two weeks. I figured we’d date at least a few weeks or months and see how it goes. I’m thinking about heading up to Denver soon and figured you might want to come along, too. I think if we wait—”
“Why should we?”
“You mean you want to get married right away?” She had to be the most determined woman on the planet. Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead. Ryder sighed. Maybe he could talk with one of her brothers before going too far. “Did you say Patrick would be at the condo tonight?”
She scowled. “Are you always this stubborn?”
“I’d call it being practical. For one thing, I don’t have a job.”
“I’m not exactly bringing a paycheck into this relationship myself.”
“I can do anything I put my mind to. I just have to find the right place where my PTSD won’t flare up the way it did at the hospital.”
“That was right after you got out of the Corps. I’m sure you’re going to find something that’s perfect for you.”
He knew Carlos would let them stay there as long as they needed a place to live. His job was in Albuquerque and he chose not to live on the pueblo and commute two or more hours a day. Whenever Carlos had wanted to spend time in the mountains, they’d either shared the house or Ryder had used it as an excuse to take an impromptu road trip.
“We’ll both survive until we get on our feet, Ryder. I have a trust from my father.”
“I don’t want to freeload off you.” He clenched his jaws. “I plan to work.”
“We both will work, but what’s mine is yours and yours is mine. I’ve never touched it because I didn’t have a clue what I want to do with it. Now we can decide together. The whole world is opening up, Ryder. I can feel it. Without any ties to jobs or property, we can settle anywhere we want. Someplace rural. That would be perfect for my photography business, too. New Mexico or Colorado—either one would be perfect. I promise, though, Chicago is not on my list.”
“I never thought about moving out of state.”
“We don’t have to unless you want to. I think we just need to keep our options open. Have you ever worked on a ranch or farm?”
“No.”
“It’s something to consider. There also might be maintenance or construction jobs in small towns. We’ll talk to Adam when we go up there. I want to help Karla when her mom has to go home. But I’m sure if there are any job opportunities, he’ll know about them. He has a lot of connections.”
Her optimism was becoming contagious. Among the takeaways from his vision quest, sometimes you needed to make a new start.
“Just don’t create obstacles, Ryder. Life has a way of putting enough real ones before us.”
“I’m working on changing my tendency to do that.”
“That’s work enough for now. Give yourself time to heal. We have the rest of our lives together. All I know is that I don’t want a prolonged engagement or fussy wedding. I’m sure I’m not getting any sex until that ring is on my finger.” She waggled the fingers of her left hand in the air between them. “So let’s go to Patrick’s and call whoever we think might show up, and we can have a judge or justice of the peace marry us as early as Monday if this state doesn’t have a waiting period.” She reached under the table for her purse.
What was her hurry? He ran his hand through his hair. “You are one impulsive lady.” Their foray into kink the second night they were together made that clear. “Look, it’s Saturday. We can’t apply for a license until we go to the courthouse Monday. Let’s take it one day at a time.” A lot could change in two days, although her plan for a small civil ceremony meant fewer people. He wanted his entire focus to be on Megan whenever they started their life together.
At least he’d have a couple of days to get his own head wrapped around the idea of being married. Again. He hoped he’d learned from his mistakes with Sherry. Megan wasn’t anything like his first wife, though. She was open, honest, and understood Ryder’s issues. In fairness to Sherry, maybe it helped that Megan hadn’t known one Ryder and then been saddled with a different man after the military.