Maybe Later(64)

AWalk90: Yes, and no. I feel like with you I don’t have to hide or try to be perfect.

JSpear84: You hide. We already established that I don’t know your name.

AWalk90: It’s just a fucking name. You get who I am. I’m more comfortable telling you about my sex life than him.

JSpear84: It’s one thing. What else is wrong? Are you looking for excuses to break up with him?

JSpear84: Just say no to going away for the weekend. Baby steps and all that fucking shit. You’re good at fixing problems. What’s going on?

AWalk90: I might be organized, I can solve almost every problem that a client brings to my table. If asked, I might be able to solve global warming. It’s easier to look into someone else’s problems and find a solution. The person looking in from outside the labyrinth can find the way out easily. I’m inside, trapped and ready to bail because I doubt I’ll ever be able to be normal.

JSpear84: You think highly of yourself if you think you can solve global warming. Scientists are working on that and have been for years. Give it a try. I have faith in you! Might as well since you’re giving up on your life.

AWalk90: Spearman, you haven’t answered my question.

JSpear84: He invited you because he wants to spend more time with you.

AWalk90: I don’t know how to tell him no.

JSpear84: Why don’t you want to go?

AWalk90: Because I don’t think we should continue this relationship.

JSpear84: You’re being a coward. Open up to him. You can continue. There’s something there. Don’t waste it.

AWalk90: Look at you, giving relationship advice.

JSpear84: Now that I gave you a resolution, what are your plans for today?

AWalk90: I’m going to the Farmers Market after yoga, then I think I’m texting him to tell him, no.

JSpear84: Farmer’s Market on a Saturday?

AWalk90: There’s always a Farmer’s Market in town. At least in the city I live in. This one is closer to my favorite bookstore.

JSpear84: That makes no sense unless you’re going book shopping afterward.

AWalk90: Text, phone call, or should I ask him to come to my house?

JSpear84: What are we talking about?

AWalk90: I need to break the news to him and just get this over with.

JSpear84: You’re breaking up with him?

AWalk90: What’s the point?

JSpear84: Is that even a question?



I don’t know what to type. We have something important going on, don’t we? I stare at my phone confused.



AWalk90: You’re right.

JSpear84: Why are you ending it?

AWalk90: I’m confused about my feelings. When more than one person occupies your mind, there’s something wrong.

AWalk90: Talk to you later.





*



“Whoa!” Alex says on the other side of the phone. “She’s breaking up with you, and she’s been two-timing you. You need to go to New Orleans and have a witch cleanse you.”

I don’t know if I called the right brother. Alex gives relationships a try. He puts himself out there. He’s even had a partner for the past three years. But it’s evident that he doesn’t get what I’m saying.

“Does she know how much she’s cost you?” he asks angrily. “I’ve gotten her the best tickets to seven different concerts.”

“It’s not about the money,” I tell him.

“She’s worse than fucking Vivian or Sam. I told you to go out and have fun, not fall for the first pair of tits you see.”

“Shut the fuck up,” I growl.

“I say go and confront her,” he says. “Move on, and next time, just fuck the girl and leave. You’re shit at relationships.”





Chapter Thirty-Two





Jack


Saturday, June 4th, 8:23 a.m.



I go for a run, then to the gym. When Vivian and I broke up, we wounded each other with words. Even though I know this is the end, I don’t want to be a bitter memory for Emmeline. Of course, I texted her around eight asking if I could see her or at least talk to her. I’m going to tell her the truth, and if she doesn’t want me for who I am, I’m ending everything today.

That’s why I find myself at the Farmer’s Market near the bookstore. This isn’t me. Amy—Emmeline has changed my life since the first time she bulldozed herself into my schedule. How do I explain why I’m at a Farmer’s Market?

At least I can excuse myself by saying I’m here to buy fresh bee pollen for my sister—which is sold at this Farmer’s Market. Oh fuck. I shouldn’t be listening to my brother, my sister or any member of my family. Alex insisted I dump her. While my sister Jeannette insisted that I confront her.

I just can’t leave without knowing all the facts. There is something about Emmeline. I’m smitten with her personality. Smitten … that’s the word Jeannette used. She claimed I was in love.

I am in fucking love.

L-O-V-E.

And I have no idea how to handle Emmeline’s last texts. The reality of what’s happening to me it’s unclear. I don’t understand how I was so used to being alone, and now, I just can’t imagine being without her. Even the days I don’t see her, I feel close to her with her playlist, her chatter, or her scrabble.