Maybe Later(63)

“I’d have to send you his resume. I have a client who could hire him, but I’m not asking for personal favors,” she says determinedly.

“Why don’t you send me his resume?” I offer. She stares at me questioningly.

“I have friends who work as headhunters and others who own telecommunication companies, and I don’t know, maybe I can find him something.”

She picks up her phone and taps it really fast, then turns her head to me and says, “What's your email address?”

Fuck!

“[email protected],” I use the address I had back in middle school which I’m almost sure doesn’t have my last name, and I hope I can remember the fucking password.

“Seriously, your email is jack twenty-three at mail dot com?” she asks.

“Yes, that’s my personal email. I would give you the company’s email, but I try not to use that email for personal things. You know how things get complicated.”

“I totally understand,” she offers. “I do the same.”

She taps a few keys and says, “sent.”

“Thank you.” She kisses my cheek lightly.

“Hey, I haven’t done anything. I’ll send it to my headhunter friends and see what they can find. That’s all I can do for now if that’s okay with you.”

“It’s perfect. It’s all anyone can do right now, but maybe you’ll have better luck than me, right?”

I squeeze her hand reassuringly, trying to erase that big frown on her forehead and the worry in her eyes. This situation with her friends is wearing her down.





Chapter Thirty-One





Jack


Saturday, June 4th, 7:31 a.m.



AWalk90: Why would someone invite you for a weekend at a secluded cabin?

JSpear84: HE’S A SERIAL KILLER!

AWalk90: You don’t even know who I’m talking about.

JSpear84: Serial Killer!

AWalk90: Stop joking about it. This is a serious matter.

JSpear84: I’m emotionally devoided. Why would you want my opinion?

AWalk90: This isn’t about emotions, but reasoning. I need a cold-hearted level-headed person to answer my questions.

JSpear84: Should I send you my bill after the consultation or before?

AWalk90: Why not invite me for dinner at his house?

JSpear84: Serial Killer.

AWalk90: Is that your final answer?

JSpear84: Who are we talking about? Your current relationship?

AWalk90: This is a question for a client. I need a male perspective.

JSpear84: An imaginary person, Amy, seriously? Why don’t you talk about yourself?

AWalk90: It’s easier to pretend not to be me sometimes.

JSpear84: Who are you?

AWalk90: Who am I? Or who am I in real life? Those are two very different questions which I can’t answer. I’d have to kill you if I told you. And I kind of like you so, just know that I’m at a crossroads. And I have no idea where I am going.

JSpear84: You lost me at AWalk90. What the hell are you talking about?

JSpear84: Are you having a mid-life crisis? I knew it, you’re not 28.

AWalk90: I am 28, won’t be 29 until September.

JSpear84: Aww, we share a birth month. Just tell me you’re 49 and I’ll understand what you’re going through better.

AWalk90: Look who’s turning into a comedian.

JSpear84: Learning from the best. Now, tell dear Jackson what’s bugging you.

AWalk90: I’m done wearing so many hats and trying to be so perfect.



Thank fucking god!



I love her no matter what, but there’s a part of her that’s hurting on a soul deep level, and she just doesn’t want to recognize it. What she says excites me, but the thoughts that played through my mind surprise me even more. Do I love her? I do—so fucking much, and I’ve got to find a way to end this stupid split-personality dating game.



AWalk90: It’s scary to open up to others. I trust him, you know. Just like I trust you. But I’m not sure if I’m ready to say: yes, let’s go to Steamboat for the weekend. It’s in a secluded cabin, just the two of us. If things go wrong, it’s going to be awkward. And do I want to take so many steps forward into this relationship? It’s too much too soon.

AWalk90: Sometimes it’s easier to be alone with my cats. They know the deal with me. I don’t have to explain anything to them. Though, Ramen adores him. She’s not a people person, but she’s attached to him.



I smile. Ramen became my girl ever since she was injured at the boarding place. She might not love being around people, but when I visit, she’s always right beside me.



JSpear84: I am not an expert, but maybe it’s a good thing that you’re giving yourself a chance to be yourself. It’s a weekend at a cabin, nothing’s going to happen.

JSpear84: Have you guys had the talk? About the birds and the bees?

JSpear84: You should explain to him what’s on your mind.

AWalk90: I think he already knows I’m off my rockers. But I’m more comfortable telling you these things than him and that’s wrong.

JSpear84: Anyone who has dealt with you for more than 5 minutes knows that you’re not sane. So, you prefer me over him?