Maybe Later by Claudia Burgoa
Coming soon
Springfling (April 2nd) One for The Road (May 2nd) Forever
Dedicated to Michelle, Karen and all the amazing Virtual assistants.
…and to Tommy and Macey who are my Ramen and Sushi.
“When you read a book as a child, it becomes a part of your identity in a way that no other reading in your whole life does.”
― Nora Ephron
Chapter One
February 21st
Mrs. Jones,
Thank you for your inquiry about our services and for filling out our initial application. It’ll be a pleasure to help you find just the right virtual assistant for your needs. Please, let me make sure we got some details right. On the application, you describe your current boss as impatient, aggressive, micromanaging, and somewhat of a social pariah.
Did I misread it? Is there a possibility that this was a typo?
If you could please correct or expand on your description, I’d appreciate it. Mrs. Darlington explained our mission correctly. We always find the assistant who will best fit your company. Even for social pariah. We have the right person for that.
Best Regards,
E. Lancaster, CEO
Virtual Assistant Everyday Services
Chapter Two
March 4th
Mr. Spearman:
Don’t forget tonight’s Gala at the Civic Center. As the guest speaker, you can’t excuse yourself and send a big fat check in your place. On Sunday, you have brunch with your family—your plane ticket is in your Inbox. Per your request, I wrapped your brother’s present and left it on your desk. Monday’s calendar has been updated. Mr. Lincoln wants to meet with you early next week.
As a reminder, I’ll be off for the next three months. My maternity leave starts next Monday. I can’t push it any longer. My due date was yesterday.
My replacement knows how to access your calendars, as well as your files, and has been shadowing me—online—for the past couple of weeks. You can contact Amy Walker, your temporary assistant, via phone, chat through the portal she provided, SMS, and email.
I sent you the information for the Virtual Assistant app. Once you sign in, it’ll prompt you to change your password. I saved your VA’s contact information on the database too. Be aware that the VA won’t do in-person tasks for you, but she’ll schedule them for you.
What does that mean for you?
She won’t bring you coffee. Zoe, the receptionist, can do that. It also means she won’t deliver your lunch at eleven with a small Pellegrino water. Ms. Walker works remotely. If you need anything, you have to contact her and ask to schedule the service, or order online.
Or, you can always use the Meals-on-Demand. It’s safe, they don’t care who you are. As long as you use the company account, no one will know it’s you.
I can’t stress enough the fact that I won’t be available for the next three months. That’s ninety days. Please, refrain from contacting me—or I’ll quit. VA-Everyday Services is one of the most prestigious and reliable companies. They keep your information secure, and their assistants are college graduates. Amy Walker’s qualifications exceed my own. Please, be aware that if you lose her, you won’t have an assistant until I’m back.
Sincerely,
Carla Jones
P. S. Your welcome package from VA-Everyday is on your desk.
*
From: A. Walker
To: J. Spearman
Subject: Introduction
Friday, March 4th, 6:30 p.m.
Dear Mr. Spearman,
Thank you for choosing VA-Everyday Services for your business. I’m Amy Walker, your Virtual Assistant. You can contact me via email, text or, better yet, send me a chat request through the VAES application. If you haven’t yet, you can download it on your phone or sign in on your desktop. My screen name is AWalk90.
A little about myself. As I mentioned, my name is Amy. I’ve worked as a freelancer for eight years and as a virtual assistant for VAES for almost four. When I’m not working, I spend time with Ramen and Sushi. Reading is my passion, needlepoint a hobby, Pilates a necessity and yoga relaxes me.
To get to know you better, I have attached a questionnaire. Have a wonderful weekend.
Sincerely,
Amy
P. S. I hope you enjoy your welcome package.
*
From: J. Spearman
To: C. Jones
Subject: VA
Friday, March 4th, 9:30 p.m.
Find me a new assistant. You promised she wouldn’t invade my personal life. Please see the attached questionnaire. Why would she want to know what my favorite food is? I don’t want to tell anyone how many times a week I work out. Did you give her my personal address? She wants to know if my doorman will receive my dry cleaning or if I have a cleaning service that can take care of the task.
I don’t need a personal assistant to know my favorite color, my favorite movie, or whether or not I have a pet. You can’t expect me to put up with someone as intrusive as this woman. She spends time with Sushi and Ramen. Does she know people aren’t food? Is that a metaphor for something else? How old is she? Not even my grandmother needlepoints, that’s for old people. Pilates, yoga … did you hire me some hippie from the sixties? My mom sounds younger than her. Maybe she’s one of those hipsters whose goals in life are to go to Tibet and become vegan. Find me a real person.