Maybe Later(61)

Jack: I already miss you.

Em: Why didn’t you stay?

Jack: I can’t sleep next to you anymore. Not until you’re ready.

Em: Thank you, Jack. Those words mean everything to me.

Jack: You scare me shitless with those big sentences. I’ve never meant much to anyone.

Em: Ditto. Goodnight.



I’m hard again, and I don’t know how long I can continue doing this, but I’m willing to continue for as long as she needs.





Chapter Thirty





Jack


Sunday, May 29th, 3:38 p.m.



Housekeeping isn’t a part of my skillset. In fact, it’s one of the few things I refuse to do. I have a competent housekeeper who comes to my house every weekday for two hours. However, for the past week, I’ve been helping Emmeline with all her chores.

“You surprise me, lady,” I say.

“Because I’m letting you fold my sheets on a Sunday?” She cocks an eyebrow and smirks. “You’re easy to please.”

“Do you want to please me?”

She smiles and shakes her head. “Maybe soon, I promise you won’t regret waiting.”

“Somehow I think you like kink.”

Em looks at me, as if considering what I just said. Smirking slightly, she says, “It all depends what you define as kink.”

Anticipation shines in her eyes, but I don’t leap into action. I wait because Emmeline Lancaster thinks a lot before she acts. Her moves, her words, her actions might look spontaneous, but once I got to know her, I realized that she just thinks fast. Her IQ must be super high because she processes faster than a computer. What might seem like a quick plan of action, is a structured strategy.

“Well, there are things I haven’t tried, because you can’t try them with just anyone.”

I swallow hard and nod as if understanding.

“So, you haven’t performed oral on yourself?” I say.

I try to sound casual and funny, but my voice is grave and fucking desperate.

“Ha, I think only guys can do that.” Her gaze moves from the shirt she’s folding to me. “Can you do it?”

“I have to confess that I’ve never tired,” I answer honestly. “I must tell you, this is the first time I’ve discussed sex while folding t-shirts.”

“Sexy, right?” She asks with a laugh. “To be honest. I’ve never tried oral or anal sex or bondage. But I do want to try them all.”

I swallow hard, staring at her. Bless her heart, I want all of those things too. Vivian was too conservative to let me do oral, and I never dared to ask for anal.

“Or you know, you can mention them as if we’re writing down the shopping list,” I say casually.

Like a caveman, I want to drag her to her room and give her all three. I’m ready to try everything and anything with her.

“Sorry, see this tells you how unprepared I am for the next step,” she explains. “It should come easily. But I’m overthinking it. Do I want to take that step or should I be asking you for your medical record?”

“Whoa, why?” Warning flashes suddenly appear.

She’d figure out who I am and might not give me the chance to pull up my pants before kicking me out of her house—and her life.

Tell her who you are right now. I have to wait, only twelve days.

“See, that’s scary. We’re two consenting adults. I’ve always used condoms, but I want to do so much more with you. Is that normal? Did you use condoms with your wife?”

I nod and my focus on sex shifts to my fucked-up relationship with Vivian. Why is she bringing up my ex-wife? In only seconds, it dawns on me.

“How often do you compare yourself to her?”

She touches her chest with the tip of her finger.

“Yes, you. I know you, Em. This analysis is going too fucking deep, isn’t it?” I stifle a heavy breath and gaze at her face, her eyes open wide.

“Who fucked you up?” I question. “Was it a boyfriend or some guy you had a big crush on?”

“What makes you think that?”

“Not everything has to be perfect, Emmeline,” I say because now I’m feeling as if we’re both failing because of her need for everything to be just right.

She holds her head and shakes it. “I know, but when your parents only give you the time of day when you’re perfect, and you have to work hard to get love, it’s easy to second guess yourself. If you’re wondering, no, I’m not ready to have sex with you. It’s taken me a lot to let you in this far. Which is already a big step for me.”

I got it. Until she’s sure that I love her, she won’t open herself up, and it isn’t just about sex.

“Let’s cut the sex talk, babe,” I suggest.

She nods a couple of times, and her face falls for a few seconds, but the sad expression disappears quickly.





*



Monday, May 30th, 7:03 p.m.



“You cook more than breakfast,” Emmeline says surprised as she tastes the broccoli beef rice bowl, I cooked for her.

“You keep on surprising me,” she says. “First laundry, then cooking.”

“And dealing with your catwalk,” I remind her.