Maybe Later(69)

I hand her a manila envelope.

“The human resources department is waiting for you to fill out the requirements for your assistant.”

She gives me an incredulous glare. “You want me to find a replacement for myself and then you’ll fire me? I assure you my husband and I have someone qualified to take care of my daughter while I’m working. I cannot lose this job, sir.”

“You’re not losing your job,” I assure her. “Would you like my lawyer to draw up a contract? Because you’re an essential asset to me. I don’t want to lose you, Carla.”

She studies me carefully. “I’m going to need that contract if you don’t mind. This is so unlike you.”

I laugh, nodding.

“What happened to you?” She looks at me closer with worry etched in her face.

Got my ass handed to me by a woman a foot shorter than me. Not to mention my heart ripped out of my chest and shred into a million pieces.

“Emmeline Lancaster,” I answer and stand up from my seat. “I’ll see you on Monday, Carla.”

“I’m supposed to come back tomorrow,” she clarifies.

“Take the day off, on me,” I say before leaving.





*



From: E. Lancaster

To: J. Spearman

Subject: Contract

Friday, June 10th, 3:00 pm



Mr. Spearman,

Thank you for allowing us to assist you over the past few months. If you need anything from VAES, please make sure to contact us. It was a pleasure working with your company.

Regards,

E. Lancaster





*



Friday, June 10th, 3:19 p.m.



AWalk90: Is it true that you’re following my recommendation and hiring an assistant for your assistant?

I stare at the chocolate statue she sent me that says, Award for the Not So Soulless boss.

JSpear84: You got to be kidding. You sent me a fucking award?

AWalk90: I think it’s fitting.

JSpear84: Where do you find time to do this kind of stuff?

AWalk90: I have an assistant.

JSpear84: How have you been? You disappeared on me.

AWalk90: I’m in Boston. Taking some time off while packing my best friend’s things. Visiting my sister …



My mind explodes as I read that. What does that mean?



JSpear84: Your sister lives in Boston?

AWalk90: Visiting my sister’s grave, did I tell you she died?

JSpear84: I’m sorry for your loss. I thought you were an only child.

AWalk90: No, I wasn’t. My sister always wanted to be. Sometimes I wish it had been me and not her.



Fuck, baby, don’t say that. I’d die if you weren’t here. I touch the monitor hating that she’s going through this while so far away. But I’m glad that she’s finally stepping up and doing something for herself.



JSpear84: Have you seen your parents?

AWalk90: No.

JSpear84: Are you okay?

AWalk90: I’m dealing. Having a lot of emotional baggage is heavy on the soul.

JSpear84: Thank you for completing your assignment.

AWalk90: You are very welcome, sir.

JSpear84: How long are you staying in Boston?

AWalk90: I’m helping my best friend pack—with one hand. She’s moving closer to me.

JSpear84: What happened to Steamboat?

AWalk90: I never learned his last name.

JSpear84: It’s over then?

AWalk90: Yes, sadly. He’s perfect, but I’m not going to spend a lifetime trying to meet his expectations. We never talked about serious stuff, like you and I do. And, If I’m being honest, he doesn’t challenge me. He doesn’t challenge me, and honestly, I don’t see how I can get close to him, when he barely speaks about his work and family. Maybe he’s too perfect because he’s got something to hide.

AWalk90: I’m not taking all the blame nor am I blaming him for everything.

JSpear84: Relationships are crap, keep yourself away from them. That’s the secret to a better life.





*



Friday, June 10th, 9:27 p.m.



AWalk90: You’re wrong. One day, I’ll find my soulmate. I’ve seen people happy together for years. I introduced Alistair to Laura, and I swear the moment they saw each other that was it. I witnessed it. I want that same kind of connection with another person. Maybe that’s why I’m trying to change my life I thought I had it with him, but perhaps it was only superficial.

AWalk90: I wish I could fuse two people into one. He’d be the perfect guy for me.

JSpear84: Find yourself first. If it’s meant to happen, he’ll wait for you. Maybe it’s not supposed to happen now, but later.





Chapter Thirty-Six





Emmeline


Saturday, June 11th, 12:02 a.m.



Jackson’s response hurts more than the lack of emotion that Jack showed when I was breaking up with him. They both can be so fucking contained. The pain is so unbearable that I want to slink into a dark corner and stay there until the hurt disappears.

“You’re still moping,” Laura says. She comes out of Simone’s room, carrying her.