If I Only Knew(68)

“Maybe, but you’re a turd on a good day.”

Milo’s phone pings and he pushes it back in his pocket. The look on his face gives me concern.

“Everything all right?”

He shakes his head and gives me a fake smile. “My brother.”

“Is it about your mother?”

He spoke with her nurse this morning and said everything was fine. She’s very ill, though. I can imagine information could change rather quickly.

“No, it’s about another matter.”

“Okay?” I say as more of a question.

“Oh,” Ava says with her chin on her hands. “Is this like a big secret?”

That feeling in my gut is stronger. Something is going on. He’s been acting strange since he got back from London.

Milo chuckles. “There’s no secret. Why don’t we head back and watch a film?”

I don’t say anything because I’m not going to put him on the spot here and now. However, Milo and I are going to talk, that much I know. But what happens if I find out that what he’s hiding is something worse that I could have imagined?





We’re cuddled on the couch, my head on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around me as the kids are passed out in their rooms.

Parker and Milo played video games—I found out Milo is a really sore loser—while Ava went out with her friends.

It was a nice quiet evening, and a sense of peace was everywhere.

There’s something to be said about closure. I always thought it was such bullshit until I actually found it. Knowing Peter’s killer will spend the rest of his life behind bars, has allowed me a chance to accept his loss.

Then, I look at Milo and I can’t help but wonder if my husband isn’t up there smiling down.

While he and Peter are polar opposites, Milo is exactly the man I need.

“I hate that you’re leaving tomorrow,” I tell him.

“I’m not happy about it either. I’m not happy about anything right this moment.”

I lift my head back. “You’re not happy with me?”

He shakes his head. “No, darling, you’re the only thing I’m happy about.”

Well, that was sweet.

“It’s hard because I know you need to be there for your mother, but selfishly, I want you here with me.”

Milo releases a heavy sigh. “We need to talk.”

I sit up, instantly, feeling uneasy. “What’s going on?”

“Do you know that my cousin Edward ran the London office of Dovetail?”

I nod. I’ve spoken with Edward a few times since working for the company. He’s an idiot, but I couldn’t exactly tell Callum that. There was always some issue that was simple to fix that Edward screwed up even worse than before.

“Right, so he did a rather shit job. I’m sure you’ve had to deal with him a time or two.”

Then the phrasing he just said dawns on me. “Yes. But you said . . . ran? As in past tense?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Who is running it now?”

I already know the answer. I can see it in his eyes.

“Me.”

My stomach drops and all the feelings I had about security and my life going in the direction I wanted dissipates. Milo wouldn’t look like he’s ready to lose his mind if this was some temporary thing. He wouldn’t be dodging Callum’s calls or texts. He would’ve told me, but he didn’t.

“How long have you known?”

Milo closes his eyes and when they’re open again, I see his guilt. “A week. I couldn’t tell you, Danielle. I was dealing with my mother and you had the sentencing. I’m not even sure if I’m going to accept the position.”

“What do you mean?”

He gets to his feet and starts to pace. “I don’t want to live in fucking London. I don’t want to go back there like this. I want to stay here, there’s no other way I can be happy. The mere idea of walking away from you makes me ill.”

“I don’t understand. Callum offered you the company and you don’t want to take it? Because of me?”

He stops, his eyes boring into mine. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. I’m going to turn him down.”

As much as there’s a conviction in what he’s saying, I can see the struggle in his eyes.

This is what he always wanted. He came back to Dovetail to fight for his job. Instead, he’s been offered a chance to run the London office. I don’t see how he can walk away. Whether he needs money or not, he’s not happy being my assistant. Milo is far too intelligent to do that, and I don’t know what job he’d take in the Tampa office. It’s too small still, and . . . Edward should’ve never had that job.

I can’t ask him to stay.

I know this in the depths of my soul. It would be selfish of me, and that’s not how love works. We give up things—our own happiness—to provide another person happiness. Milo is willing to walk away from an opportunity of a lifetime for me, now I’m going to fall on the sword instead. Because I love him.

“Milo,” I wait for his eyes to meet mine. “You have to take it. This is what you were fighting for. The place in the company that you deserved. Besides, you need to be there for your mom. She needs you and . . . you can’t stay for me. Not like this.”