If I Only Knew(64)

“Is there something I should know?” I ask hesitantly.

“No, no. We haven’t spoken in a few days, I wasn’t sure how Mum was doing.”

His mother has more bad days of late than good. It’s been three weeks, countless phone calls, and still no Milo back in my arms. I’m starting to feel discouraged, and I’m trying hard not to. But I miss him. I hate that I do because I feel weak.

However, I can’t believe he hasn’t let Callum know.

“He said she was having a rough time the other night. We haven’t spoken today, though.”

“He hasn’t said anything else?”

Okay, this is weird. “No, should he have?”

“I’m sorry,” Callum lets out a nervous laugh. “It’s hard being here when she’s sick.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’ll definitely tell him to call you.”

“Thank you.” He smiles.

That was the most bizarre conversation ever.

I grab the drinks and head out to the living room. Tomorrow is the sentencing, and my friends took it upon themselves to be here tonight. Heather, Eli, Kristin, Noah, Nicole, and Callum are apparently going to babysit me.

“Thanks, Danni.” Heather smiles as I sit the wine glasses out on the table.

“You know you guys don’t need to be here,” I say for the tenth time.

“Yes, we do,” Kristin argues.

I will never get them to leave, I might as well stop trying.

“How are you doing with Milo being in London?” Nicole cuts right to the chase.

“I’m fine. He’s where he needs to be.”

And I truly mean that. His mother is what counts right now. We’ve been dating a whole few weeks before she got sick, I know he wants to be here, but he can’t.

“I’ll tell you this,” Eli starts. “If it was my mom, I’d be right next to her too. You can tell a lot about a man by the way he treats his mother.”

I scrunch my face. “How so?”

“That’s the first person to love him. If she’s a good woman, which by how Cal talks about her, she is, then a man learns how to treat a woman from that relationship.”

Heather nods. “I can say that the way Eli dotes on his that’s true. Matt was a jerk to his, and we know why.” She looks to Kristin. “How was Asshole with his mother?”

Kristin laughs. “The same way he was to everyone in his life—a selfish douche.”

Noah tucks Kristin to his side a little tighter. I don’t know if she realizes it, but anytime Scott gets brought up, he pulls her closer. Almost like he’s protecting her from the thought of him. It’s sweet, and I love seeing that their relationship is as strong as it is.

“I agree with Eli,” Noah shrugs. “I would walk through fire for my mother. She pretty much did for me, and if she were sick, I’d be there.”

“That’s because you’re a good man, Noah Frazier,” Kristin sighs as she looks at him.

Nicole pretends to gag. “God you guys are so gross.”

“Why because we love each other?” Kristin counters.

Oh, this is so going to get ugly.

“I love Callum more than anything. I literally would give anything for him, but I’m not all batting my eyes and sighing when he talks. He’s a man. He loves his mother, but he loves me too. Milo is a good guy, and I’m happy that he and Danni found each other, but Danni needs him too.”

“I don’t need any of you here,” I correct.

Nicole rolls her eyes. “Yes you do, it’s okay.”

“You guys, seriously, I’m fine. I love you all and thank you for coming, but I’ve got this.”

“I wish we could delay filming,” Heather says.

Do any of them listen? No, no they do not.

I don’t want anyone but Ava with me. I know that sounds crazy, and maybe a little stupid, but we have to get through this. If they’re there, I’ll feel as though I have to perform. Being weak in front of others is a hard thing for me. Peter was a tough guy. He didn’t love emotions and I learned to lock them up. When he first died, it was as though a dam had broken and flooded my world.

I cried more than I had in twenty years.

I cried and then sobbed and then wailed.

I thought all of it had been purged, but some must be left because I know tomorrow will affect me.

“You guys, Ava and I will be fine.”

Kristin blows a loud breath through her nose. “You’re being a stubborn ass.”

I give her a look that says, Maybe I am, but I’m allowed to be.

The doorbell rings and I jump up. “I’ll get it. You can continue to talk shit about me when I leave.”

Nicole lifts her hand. “Oh, don’t worry, we plan to.”

“Bitch.”

“Idiot,” she replies.

I head to the door, and when I open it, my heart stops.

“Milo!”

“Hello, sweetheart.” He smiles and pulls me into his arms.

“Oh, my God. You’re here.” Tears I swore were done falling come rushing forward. He’s here. He’s here now, and I’m in his arms.

I pull back, my hands touching his face. I bring my mouth to his, tasting the tears against my lips.