If I Only Knew(60)

“Will you please read the verdict?” she asks as a commandment.

I could throw up. My stomach twists, my hands are sweating and I want to cry without even knowing the outcome.

It’s so much.

“We the jury, find the defendant, Adam McClellan, on the count of murder in the first degree, guilty.”

Relief floods through me and tears start to fall. Ava bursts out in tears, wrapping her arms around me.

“On the count of Illegal Possession of a hand gun, guilty.”

I don’t care about the rest of them, but this is vindication. I can breathe again. They continue to go through the rest of the charges, as I let it all out. I didn’t screw up our chance to nail him. We didn’t lose. We have justice for the hell this man put us through.

Ava and I sit close, holding each other’s hands as they inform him of his sentencing date.

“That’s it?” she asks with tears streaming down her cheeks.

“That’s it.”

We stand and the prosecutor walks toward us. “I’m so happy we have justice for Peter,” Rachel says.

“We are too. I know that when he was alive, you guys fought on the opposite side . . .”

She shakes her head. “No, we were on the side of the law. Peter may not have been fighting for the side I chose, but he deserved justice.”

“He did,” I agree.

Ava wipes her cheeks and squares her shoulders. “I want to be here and speak at his sentencing.”

Rachel looks to me and then back at her. “If your mother is okay with it, I think it would be helpful.”

“Mom?”

I close my eyes while releasing a breath through my nose. “If you want to do that, I won’t stop you. You have to behave, though. I’m not trying to give you an ultimatum, I’m asking you to think about what kind of girl you want them to see when you’re standing before the judge.”

This is hard, this parenting thing. On one hand you want to teach your kids they need to stand on their own feet. The other hand wants to put them in a bubble, hold tight, and never let anything touch them. Then there’s the middle, where you don’t know which way to go, and I hate the middle.

“I know. I just want to say some things,” she explains.

“I do too, honey.”

Richard comes over and hugs us both. “I’m glad we have justice for Peter.”

“Me too.”

“Peter would’ve won that case,” he laughs to himself. “That’s all I kept thinking. If he was the defense attorney, he would’ve shredded the prosecution. He was a fantastic lawyer, friend, and we miss him.”

As much as I want to slap him for that being his first thought, I smile. Peter would’ve. He was great, and he would’ve gotten it done. Also, my husband was arrogant enough to have that been the first words out of his mouth. He thought he was great, and the fact that his business partner would’ve thought the same, probably has him smiling from Heaven.

“Yeah.” I shake my head. “He really was.”

“He loved you three. He talked about taking time off more, being there to see the kids grow up,” Richard smiles.

“Too bad he didn’t.”

I see the instant regret flash in his eyes. “If you ever need anything, Danni, please don’t hesitate to call us. You’re family.”

There was way too much dysfunction and backstabbing in the office. I would never trust any of them. Still, I can’t be rude. “Thank you, Richard. We really appreciate that.”

Ava tells us she’s going to call her friends and excuses herself. I need to call mine, in fact, where are my damn friends? Or my boyfriend? Boyfriend. Jesus. Saying that at thirty-nine doesn’t feel weird or anything.

I dig in my purse for my phone and see two missed calls and a text from Milo.



* * *



Milo: You’re not answering, but I’m at the airport heading to London. Please call Nicole when you’re free. I’m sorry.





* * *



My stomach drops. “Excuse me,” I say to Richard.

I’m already dialing Nicole’s number as I get outside the courtroom. It rings. And rings. “Come on pick up,” I whisper.

“Hey.” She answers after what feels like forever.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“First, are you okay? Did they find him guilty?”

I don’t want to talk about this, but Nicole is . . . forceful when she wants something.

“Yes. Guilty. What’s going on with Milo?”

She huffs. “All I know is he and Callum left for London. Their mother is sick and I guess she’s been keeping it quiet, but she collapsed and they had to go right away.”

“Oh, God.”

“Yeah, I don’t know, Danni,” she pauses. “Milo was here talking about his mom coming here for Friendependence Day to meet you, and the kids. Then something about his job when Callum’s phone rang. I’m not sure what their plan is, but my husband said he’d call when they had details.”

I rub my forehead. “Okay, keep me posted.”

This is so bad. Milo mentioned the other day about his mom being alone in London and some guilt he felt. I can’t imagine how he’s working through all of that.