If I Only Knew(56)

“Lie down, baby,” I instruct.

“Yes ma’am.”

He flips on his back and I grab the condom off the nightstand. Once I’ve got it on him, I straddle his hips. My hand rests on his heart and I feel the rapid beating. He’s just as nervous as I am.

It’s easy to talk about what this means, it’s another to do it.

“Are you all right?”

“I will be,” I say as I rock forward, bringing him where I need him.

I know he’s not asking about the physical part of what we’re doing. We’re in my home, the bed I once shared with my husband, and I can see Milo’s hesitation. I don’t have any, though. This isn’t about anyone else but us right here. The emotions I’m feeling are because I’m overcome with hope.

Milo wasn’t supposed to be anything to me. I had no plans to fall for someone. But I did, and right now, I’m happy.

I have to believe that because Peter loved me, he would want that.

If it were me who was gone, I know I would.

The tip glides in and I take his face in my hands, forcing my eyes to stay open. I start to move down, each inch filling me little by little as I go slow.

Milo’s eyes start to close and I stop.

“I want you to watch this,” I tell him. “I want you to feel the two of us connect physically.”

“You feel too fucking good.”

“You fill me up, Milo. In every way.”

His hands wrap around my hips and pushes me down all the way.

I can’t take it. I moan so loudly it’s almost embarrassing. “God!”

He holds onto me, forcing me to move in a slow and deliberate pace. We keep our eyes on each other, not wanting to sever the connection.

Each time Milo’s hips rotate a little, I damn near lose it. I rock my hips back and forth, my heart full along with my body.

The pleasure builds with every thrust.

“I want you to come again,” Milo says through gritted teeth. “I want to feel you around my cock.”

His thumb presses against my clit and he starts to make circles. “Right there. Milo!”

I explode again. I fall forward to his chest and then he flips me onto my back. He pushes harder, sweat dripping from his face as I hold onto his arms.

“You feel so good,” he says between thrusts. “I’m almost there. Keep your eyes on me.”

A wash of pleasure covers his face as he orgasms.

After we clean up, we snuggle up, my head on his shoulder as he runs his fingers against my spine.

“I never thought I’d enjoy this,” Milo muses.

“Cuddling?”

“Yes.” He kisses my forehead. “I always felt it was rather stupid, but I can see the appeal now.”

I lift my head, resting my chin on my hand. “I’m just special.”

“I don’t deny that.”

“When did you know?” I ask.

Milo shifts his head, his eyes narrowing as if he’s deep in thought. “I’m not sure. I believe it was when I thought you were going to jail for creating disorder in the court and I wouldn’t need to fight for my job.”

I laugh. “You’re an idiot. I couldn’t believe you thought that.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because . . . I don’t know.”

Milo chuckles. “Fab answer, sweetheart.”

“Fab answer, sweetheart,” I mock him.

“Keep it up and you’ll get a proper spanking.”

I roll my eyes. “You’ll regret that.”

“Oh, will I?” Milo asks.

“I hit back.”

He raises one brow. “I might like you when you’re a bit naughty.”

I laugh. “You have problems.”

“You have no idea.”

“Yeah?” I push him a little. “Like what?”

He sighs. “Well, I’m falling in love with my boss, which is a problem since my mission was to take her down. It leaves me in a rather precarious situation since I either need to quit my job and find something more suitable for my skill set, or stay on as her “bitch”, as she so called me.”

Did he just . . . did he say . . . I think he said he’s falling in love with me. I swear I heard it.

After that, I wasn’t paying attention to anything else that came out of his mouth. He said love. I know he did.

My heart is beating faster as I try to wrap my mind around his admission. Do I love him? Am I falling in love with him? The answer is yes to the second, but there’s so much to figure out.

“Why do you look like you’re ready to run?” Milo asks.

“I’m not.” I shake my head.

“Lie.”

I release a deep breath and sit up, pulling the sheet with me. “You said you were falling in love with me.”

He pushes up, and nods once. “I thought that was rather obvious.”

“Obvious how?”

“Do I look like a bloke who would want to come watch a film on your sofa rather than be at the pub? Or that I would have my Mum send my old comics from London when I wasn’t feeling like more than fucking? I assure you, Danielle, that’s not the man I am.”

“It’s just . . . you said it.”