If I Only Knew(52)

Of course, everything has changed now, and I don’t know when or if I’ll return to London.

I pay the bill and take her hand as we exit the restaurant.

“Dinner was wonderful,” Danielle says as she hooks her arm around mine.

“It was.”

“Have you been to the beach at night?”

I haven’t been to the beach at all, really. I’m rather pale, so the idea of sitting out in the miserable heat and sun isn’t appealing to me.

But the way her face lights up makes me think nighttime is different.

“I haven’t had the time, why?”

She smiles and sighs. “It’s my favorite. Would you like to go?”

How could I possibly say no? “Sure.”

We walk a few streets over and then she slips her heels off. I remove my shoes and then we make our way onto the sand.

“I love it here,” she muses as we approach the water.

“I’m not that fond of the ocean.”

“Really?” The surprise is clear in her voice.

I wrap my arm around her waist, holding her tightly. “Not since my father died. He and my mother would take us on holiday to the beaches in France. We went every year, no matter what. After he died, we stopped all together.”

Danielle stops walking and faces me. “I’m sorry, Milo.”

“Don’t be, darling.”

She steps closer to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. “I wish I could meet your mom. Nicole is terrified of her, but she’s an asshole, so most mothers don’t love her.”

I laugh. “Mum is a lot like Nicole, I think. They’re unapologetic as to who they are.”

“She said that.”

“Which is why I think Callum fell for her so fast.”

She rests her head on my chest. Without her heels, our height difference is funny. My head sits on the top of her head and we stand here.

“I feel like I fell for you fast,” Danielle admits.

“You do?”

She nods against me. “I didn’t want to. I sometimes still don’t.” Her head lifts, and the world fades away as she looks at me as though I’m worthy of her affections. “If I fall hard, and you don’t catch me, I worry I won’t survive the landing.”

My heart aches and I see how much her words cost her. My hands hold her face, and I vow right now, I will do anything to make her feel secure. “I will always break your fall, Danielle. I want to be your safety net, and I hope I’ve proven that to you. Seeing you hurt, causes me pain. You’re not the only one who’s falling.”

“I’m not?”

How is she so blind? “No. I’m all in.”

She smiles, lifts up on her toes, and kisses me. “And you said you weren’t a hero.”

I release a breath through my nose and rest my head against hers. “I guess I needed to find a cause worth fighting for.”





Chapter Twenty-Four





Danielle





“I’m not hosting the barbeque this year,” I tell Nicole as she gives me her disapproving look.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t feel like it.”

Why do I need to have a reason? It’s stupid and I don’t need the damn stress.

“You’re full of shit.” Nicole plops herself in the chair in my office.

“Thanks for dropping by, Nic.”

I don’t know why she’s even asking about it. Each year, she’d cry and complain about having to schlep all the way over to my house, deal with my stupid husband, and leave with a renewed desire to stay single. Heather would basically threaten her to get her to come—and behave. I thought if anyone would be happy about it being done, it would be her.

“I’m not going anywhere. I fuck your boss, so I kind of have the fuck-you-very-much card.”

I release a heavy sigh and bang my head on my desk. “Why have I not moved to Texas or some other state to escape you people?”

“Friendependence Day is something we celebrate. I understood why we didn’t the year before because Kristin was dealing with her divorce. Then you cancelled Friendsgiving, which I accepted. I gave you another few months—”

“Oh, burying my husband that year was a good excuse?”

“Well, better than whatever shit you’re coming up with this year.”

“Jesus Christ, Nicole. Do you have a soul or were you always this cold-hearted?”

“Not really sure because both answers are equally scary.” Nicole shrugs while looking at her nails. “This year you need to do this.”

“Oh, and why is that?”

“Because your kids need to know that life goes on after loss. Ava, in all her crazy rebellion loves her aunts and cousins. Friendependence Day has been a staple in her life, Parker’s, Aubrey’s and Finn’s since they were born—and your friends’. We did this because you fucking forced us and now you need to continue on.”

She’s got balls. I’ve always known this, but this is bold even for her. “Why do I have to host it?”

Nicole runs her hand through the blonde hair I secretly hate out of jealousy. I spent a long time trying to dye mine that color and then gave up. “Because it was always you who hosted. Kristin could, but she’s traveling to see Noah for two weeks before it. Heather is talking about surprising Eli and we both know I’m the last person anyone should trust. Your house has always been where we did it.”