If I Only Knew(72)

“Why? It’s not his fault.” I ignore the last part of her tirade.

It’s been five days since Milo left. He’s called me each day as he promised, and refuses to allow me to believe it’s over. Two days ago, he was officially named Vice President of Dovetail Enterprises.

“The fuck it’s not. He could’ve found another replacement.” I love the whole solidarity in sisterhood thing, but it’s not Callum’s fault. It was the situation, and Milo should be the Vice President. He’s a Huxley who helped build this company.

“And you think Milo and Callum would’ve ever found a way to talk again? You think that if Callum named another random cousin that things would’ve been better? How does that make sense? He had to name his brother, and Milo had to make the choice. But more than that, Nicole, were you willing to sell your company and move to London to care for his mother?”

That’s the part that baffles me about her argument. She was never going to England. She has her life here, just the same as I do.

“That’s irrelevant. You and Milo were happy and in love. He could’ve flown her crotchety ass here, but she refused, and they can’t physically force a woman with cancer to come to America.”

“And you want her close to you?” I ask, knowing how she feels about his mother.

“Fuck no, but at least you’d be happy!”

I smile and pull her in for a hug. “You love me.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“You do.” I grin. “You do because you’d rather be miserable instead of me.”

“Shut up.”

“I see your feelings coming through.”

“Danni, shut your face before I remove my earrings,” Nicole warns.

She’s crazy, but it’s sweet that she would take on an unwanted mother-in-law for me. Nicole hates mothers. All mothers. Her mother, her mother-in-law, the fact that she is a mother. It’s actually pretty funny. I wish moving Mrs. Huxley closer was an option, but Milo’s mother absolutely refused to come here, and you can’t force a sick old woman to move against her will.

“Milo and I just weren’t meant to be,” I say as I flop on her very expensive couch.

“The fuck you’re not.”

“You know, Colin’s first word is going to be fuck or some other curse word if you don’t curb it.”

“I hope it fucking is,” Nicole laughs. “Then I’ll know it’s my kid.”

“Was there a question as to the validity that Colin came from your vagina?” I ask, slightly wary of her answer.

“No, but . . . you know what I mean. Look, back to what matters. Callum is never getting a blowie again and I’m going to be sexless, which means I’ll be extra bitchy, until he fixes your heart.”

This is why every woman should have a squad like mine. Heather is the rational one who keeps us in check. Kristin is the mother hen who always makes sure we’re okay. And then there’s Nicole, the nut job who, when your heart is broken, will scoop the pieces up and make you laugh again. She reminds you that life is okay, and if it’s not, she’ll destroy anyone who hurt you.

“You know, in our squad of friends, Ava is the most like you,” I tell her.

“Me?”

“Yeah, she’s the lunatic who is a bit of a loose cannon, but when she fires, she strikes the target.”

Nicole nudges me. “I’m your favorite. You can say it.”

“Shut up.”

“Say it,” she pushes.

“No, you’re not my favorite. You’re like, bottom rung on the ladder.”

She snorts. “Liar.”

“Whatever.”

“Can I ask you something?” Nicole questions out of nowhere.

“Umm, if I said no would it stop you?”

Her lips tip up. “Nope.”

“Didn’t think so.”

She takes a few seconds, which is unlike her, and then holds my hand in hers. “Okay, why didn’t you follow him to London?”

My head jerks back. “What?”

“Milo, why didn’t you go with him?”

Nicole watches me and waits. I sit here, stunned by the question because it’s obvious. I’m confused as to why she thinks I would go—or that I could, for that matter. I have a life here. My family, friends, kids are settled in schools, and I have a great job.

“Because . . . you know why!”

She shakes her head. “All the reasons you probably listed in your head are shit and you know it. Your parents tour Europe more than they’re in Tampa. You can’t tell me Parker and Ava wouldn’t move because . . . they’re kids and you make them.”

I sit here, ticking off her counter to each point I had and hate her a little for it.

“Not the point—” I try to say but she cuts me off.

“Your job is the same damn job in England so don’t go there. Also, you’d be dating the VP, so, again, shut up. Your house? Sell it. Peter is gone, and you found love with Milo. I’m not saying that it’s easy or perfect, but there is not one single reason you have to be apart. It’s a choice.”

“What about you guys? You didn’t factor all of us.”

“That is the stupidest one of all. Our family isn’t defined by location.” She touches my face. “It’s in our hearts, and we’re only a plane ride or a FaceTime visit away. But your heart is in England, my friend. What are you going to do about it?”