I Love You to Death(75)

I blushed when she said this, knowing only too well how true that probably was. I just didn’t realise how obvious it’d been. "Do you think Luke noticed?" I asked, taking a sip of my drink.
She squeezed my hand now as she gently said, "It would’ve been hard for him not to Ash. He was so crazy about you, it’s a wonder he didn’t just jump you then and there when he saw your reaction to me walking in. In any case I’m sure he knows now," she continued laughing again.
I hope he does.
"So have you, you know, talked to him about how you really feel? Those three little words you blurted out to me at the Cape?" she continued, the corner of her mouth lifting in a smile.
I took another nervous sip of my drink, stalling before I answered her, "No."
"So you haven’t told him?" Mia asked. Subtly changing the course of the conversation appeared to be one thing Mia could do.
"No," was all I could say again.
"Why not Ash?"
I shook my head, took another sip of my drink. "I’m too scared," I finally admitted, unable to explain why.
Mia just squeezed my hand again before she let go. "You shouldn’t be Ash, that much I can guarantee you. You definitely shouldn’t be scared about telling Luke how you feel. You have to know he feels the same way right? You must know, I mean everyone can see it," she continued, smiling at me.
That’s not what I was afraid of. I’d heard him say the words once before, whispered in my ear so many months ago. I wasn’t afraid of what he felt; he never held back, his actions constantly showing me what those feelings were. It was one of the things I loved about him.
It was me. I’d never said those words back to him because it was the final step. It was like admitting it was all really real and if it was, then it could all really be destroyed as well. That’s what I was afraid of.
But I couldn’t tell Mia this. So I just took a deep breath and jokingly said, "Everyone but me right?"
"No Ash," Mia said gently. "I know you see it too. I know you do."
"Yeah," I said quietly. She smiled at me then and I smiled back, knowing that whether I said those words out loud or not, the feeling was true. I knew it, hopefully Luke knew it. And keeping it a secret or actually telling him wasn’t going to change anything, not now. And he deserved to know, he deserved to hear me say it and I really did want to tell him.
So it’s a little after midnight when Luke finally comes home. I’m lying in bed reading, but I’m definitely not tired and in no danger of going to sleep anytime soon.
"Hey my beautiful girl," he says with a smile in his voice, putting his guitar down and coming over to the bed.
"Hey," I smile back at him, leaning over for a kiss.
He touches his lips to mine. "How was the movie?" he murmurs against them.
I laugh as I say, "Um, we never got there. Talking too much and we missed the start."
Luke smiles at me as he kicks off his boots and sits down on the bed now, facing me. "That, I’m not surprised about." He kisses me again, his hand finding mine and our fingers lacing together as his thumb softly brushes over my wrist. It’s all I can do not to rip his clothes off right here and now. But I’m going to do this first. I want to do this, I want to tell him.
"Did you have a good night though?" he eventually asks.
"We did," I smile.
We’re sitting here watching each other and even though music is playing, I’m sure Luke must be able to hear my heart, which is racing inside my chest. It’s practically deafening to me, so I don’t know how he could miss it.
"You okay Ash?" he eventually asks me, his head tilting slightly as he watches me, his thumb still stroking my wrist. My pulse is pounding; he must be able to feel it.
I take another deep breath. "Yes. But I want to tell you something," I say. "Something important."
Luke just keeps watching me, as I sit there trying to get the words out. "Anything," he eventually says. I can’t tell what he’s thinking, if he knows what I’m trying to say, trying to do. I force myself to continue.
"Luke…"
"Yeah?"
And then I just say it. Those three words I’ve been holding back. Those three words I heard him whisper to me months ago. Those three words that describe a feeling I know I’ve had for so long now. Those three words that mean everything, I finally just say it to him.
"….I love you."
It feels like time freezes for a second before everything then starts to move in slow motion. I watch Luke as he blinks, then smiles, then grabs me and pulls me to him. I watch as he kisses me. Hard. One hand buried in my hair, the other wrapping tightly around my waist holding me against him. My eyes close as I kiss him back.
"Please say that again," he whispers against my lips.
I open my eyes, find him watching me. "I love you," I say again. "I really love you."
He groans, kissing me again as he pushes us down onto the bed. "Asha, I love you. I love you so much." His voice is strained, full of emotion as he finally says those same three words back to me again.
"You do?" I can’t help but whisper.
He pulls back a little, looking at me with blue eyes that are so full of love I cannot look away. "Yeah Asha, I really do. I love you, I’ve always loved you."
I smile up at him.
He smiles back.
Now I do rip his clothes off.
It’s almost dawn by the time we finally fall asleep, but when we do, I have a smile on my face and Luke’s warm arms surrounding me, holding me tightly against him. Now I know I’m home.