Midnight Sun (Twilight #1.5)(112)

Even if I did decide to change her, I wouldn't have the strength to stop myself from drinking her dry. Just thinking about the luscious taste on my lips sent a shiver of pleasure down my spine.

How could he possibly believe that this whole situation is a good idea? Dread flowed through my frozen veins as the thought of hurting the delicate flower of a girl, Bella, entered my mind. I tried to expunge the images that Alice had embossed into my brain, for they seemed to be coming to the surface at this conversation.

I wasn't the only one surprised and outraged by his responses to it all, how easily Carlisle just accepted this bit of news like he knew it was going to happen all along.

Rosalie, working on her car, had thrown a wrench down and walked away, muttering choice swear words under her breath. Jasper coughed - something a vampire would never need to do - while breaking part of the chess piece he was holding. He knew of the danger this could possibly cause us all.

Then there were those two thoughts that were unsurprised, actually elated. Alice, for obvious reasons, predicted this future. She loved Bella, human or vampire. Esme, who didn't care if Bella had four fingers and crossed eyes, was smiling at me. Her thoughts were content, pleased at this news, even though a sturdier Bella, in her mind, would be the better choice.

There was only one neutral thought. "Next time we'll use your chess set," Emmett muttered to Jasper. Though, I knew if it came to sides, he would choose Rosalie's.

Before I responded to Carlisle's words Esme's thoughts protruded into my head. I wonder when I can meet her.

I turned and gave Esme a withering look.

"Why are you guys doing this to me?" Derision was obvious in my voice. "If I stay with her..." I needed to leave her alone. She needs to live a mortal life, one that I can not offer her. "I could kill her." My face screwed up in pain at the word kill.

It's been months, Edward. She's still alive. You can do this, I have faith in you, Carlisle thought.

My hands were trembling slightly as fear pulsed through me. Faith, I scoffed. Esme approached me swiftly and embraced me, all fear flooded from my body at her gentle touch.

Carlisle approached me and Esme let go as he placed his hand on my shoulder and thought sympathetically; everything will be all right, son.

It was silent for a minute, as everyone let the news sink in.

"So, what did you tell Bella?" Carlisle asked, intrigued now. Our previous conversation was now in the distant past.

Everything I was doing seemed so human lately. I sank lower into the chair as if it were my only support after being deflated.

"I didn't tell her, Carlisle, she guessed. She guessed everything, even my little talent of reading minds!"

Carlisle's thoughts were incoherent with surprise; his words spiraled together and were muddled so I continued.

"I only filled in the blanks, which were not many. She is much more perceptive than I realized..." My voice trailed off and I slumped even lower into the chair. I had made so many mistakes.

I then remembered what she had told me about her trip to First Beach.

"Then her little friend Jacob Black..."

Before I could get another word out Carlisle already knew exactly what had happen.

Jacob...Black. Oh! "The Quileute's?"

I nodded.

Oh... I see. He chuckled."I never thought it would be their side to break the treaty! Oh, of course, I know it couldn't have been meant like that, surely he doesn't think the stories are true." he shook is head.

This house became silent, not a word or thought formed for several spiraling seconds. When the curtain of silent thoughts became louder then thoughts themselves, I finally looked up to try to interpret Carlisle's face since his mind had become nothing more than a bewildered mental humming. The astonishment on his alabaster face was humorous.

Before I could make my mouth move to ask the question I seemed to be asking more and more lately, what are you thinking, Carlisle began to chuckle at full volume. He was truly taken aback, but this news hadn't bothered him at all. His mind was stunned into silence as flashes of Bella went through - all from that almost tragic day with the van.

I couldn't take the ever-growing silence emanating off the walls.

"What?" I asked with irritation.

Carlisle shot Esme a look.

Go on,Esme thought while nodding to Carlisle to continue, as if he could read her thoughts. He finally spoke.

"How did she react?"

"She said, 'it doesn't matter' what I am," my teeth gritted at the memory, and then my expression softened when I remembered the tears that welled up in her eyes at my reaction. Another mistake.

"She won't tell anyone?" he asked.

"No. I trust her." At my look, he accepted my answer without a doubt.

"Edward, this cannot be a coincidence. There is a real change happening here." Carlisle chuckled once more.

Esme put her arm around Carlisle and a large grin gradually spread across her face. My parents were... happy, excessively, even. I hadn't predicted the conversation going in this direction at all.

I was given the impression that everything was happening very fast. The monster in me began backing into the darkest corners of my mind, gradually dissipating as I was becoming more and more human the more familiar I became with Bella.

What should I do? I know what I should do; it was a matter of what I was going to do.I knew what the answer should be. I need to leave her alone. Even if I can cage the monster for the time, it is not likely I can keep him caged forever. Yes, I have my family for support, but that won't stop me from accidently hurting her. I had to leave, as Carlisle suggested.