Midnight Sun (Twilight #1.5)(116)

Smiling, that was good. I surveyed her face and could tell she didn't sleep well because she had large circles under her eyes. And I stayed in her room all night as she tossed in her sleep, I added mentally. No need to inform her of my nightly visits, though.

Once again I became frustrated because I couldn't hear her knowing mind. What kept her up at night? What made her toss and turn and say my name? It never appeared like she was having a nightmare, or maybe I was just trying to convince myself of this. What else could possibly be making her so restless if not scary monsters that actually exist?Maybe I was just fooling myself.

"You look tired," I pointed out to continue her talking.

I took in another breath and was instantly intoxicated by her scent. My mouth watered, I was nearly salivating.

No mistakes, I ordered.

"I couldn't sleep." She looked like she was confessing to something and then hid behind her curtain of hair.

Keep it light.

"Neither could I," I teased as I turned the key to start the engine.

She laughed and the sound was harmonious.

"I guess that's right. I suppose I slept just a little bit more than you did."

"I wager you did," I returned her smile; relieved the conversation was going so well.

Another - deeper - breath soared down my throat this time and I bit down hard on my cheek. The tantalizing smell was luxurious, painfully pleasurable...a rich profusion, opulent. The elaborate mix of her enticing scent was the only thing I ever wanted to breathe in, though, at the same time I craved the fresh air outside...just to clear my mind. I could literally stick my tongue out and taste her on the air; it was so saturated with her aroma.

Oh, who cares about the pain, she was here with me and that was all I wanted, I told myself.

No mistakes!

I took in a few more gulps of air while the monster clawed angrily at my throat. He was so close to the edge that I was using all my concentration now to fight him back.

"So what did you do last night?" she asked, intrigued.

She instantly scared the monster back into the darkness with just the sound of her voice.

She's clever...but not clever enough, it was my turn to ask the questions - as I had made clear the day before. There were so many questions that were left unanswered and I had to know.

A smile broke across my face and I chuckled.

"Not a chance. It's my day to ask questions," I said enthusiastically.

"Oh, that's right. What do you want to know?" her forehead creased.

What was going on in her mind? She looked worried and I almost reached out to press my finger in between her eyebrows to smooth out the worry lines.

Keep it simple, light.

"What's your favorite color?"

That was simple enough.

She rolled her eyes.

Maybe too simple.

"It changes from day to day," she smiled.

I knew I was going to have to drag everything out of her, no surprise there.

"What's your favorite color today?" I asked gruffly.

"Probably brown," she said, looking down at her brown shirt.

Really? I had to stop myself from snorting and instantly dropped my serious gaze, the pretense no longer needed.

"Brown?" I asked skeptically.

"Sure. Brown is warm. I miss brown. Everything that's supposed to be brown - tree trunks, rocks, dirt - is all covered up with squashy green stuff here," she complained.

At her answer, I was able to add another thing to my list: she was self-effacing. She wasn't easily led by other people, choosing her color because of what she liked, not what the populace agreed upon.

Suddenly I remembered her muttering, "It's too green," when she was sleeping one evening and tried not to chuckle aloud.

"You're right," I decided, excitement racing through me at all the thoughts I would unlock today. Even learning this little thing about her made me reel with glee.

Okay, back to business. I was abruptly serious again.

"Brown is warm."

Brown was in fact one of my favorite colors, too. I don't know why it took me so long to become aware of this; her deep brown eyes and long brown hair. I hesitated for an instant, not wanting to spoil the moment, but feelings I had never felt before I met Bella were surfacing.

My hand twitched, wanting to reach over and pull her hair from her face, so I could see the beauty that lied beneath. To just lift her chin slightly, turning it in my direction so I could try to read the deep depths of her eyes... Enough.

It would be wrong for me to do it, to place her warm face in my cold hands. The warmth. If I just slightly raised her chin, I could meet her half way...place my lips to hers.

Enough, I ordered again, but it was too late. My hand was out stretched, reaching towards her as I pulled her hair behind her shoulder, gently. Some of the lose strands spilled over my hand. Enough!

I dropped my hand instantly.

No mistakes!

I could feel the warmth coming off of her skin, her fragrance was enveloping, and her hair was soft like silk. My urge to press my cold hard lips to her delicate soft ones had not evaded me.

Stop there, I scolded myself. No more errors. You mustn't be so selfish, I reprimanded.

We pulled into the school parking lot but this didn't mean that my questioning was over...that my desires were gone.

Keep it light, I reminded myself.