Midnight Sun (Twilight #1.5)(107)

"Come on, Bella!" Jacob groaned. "You should know that at least."

"Sorry," Bella shrugged, chuckling at his behavior.

"It's a BMW." I rolled my eyes and then focused on backing out without running anyone down. I had to lock eyes with a few boys that didn't seem willing to move out of my way. A half-second meeting my gaze seemed to be enough to convince them.

"Is that car really that special?" Bella rolled her eyes.

Jacob just stared at her incredulously.

"I guess it is," Bella mumbled.

"Are you still angry?" I asked her. Her frown had relaxed.

"Definitely," she answered curtly.

I sighed. Maybe I shouldn't have brought it up. Oh well. I could try to make amends, I supposed. "Will you forgive me if I apologize?"

She thought about that for a moment. "Maybe...if you mean it," she decided.

"And if you promise not to do it again."

"Don't hold your breath," Jacob chuckled.

"I know... that's never going to happen," Bella chuckled too.

I wasn't going to lie to her, and there was no way I was agreeing to that. Perhaps if I offered her a different exchange.

"How about if I mean it, and I agree to let you drive this Saturday?" I cringed internally at the thought.

"Oh... that works," Bella said.

The furrow popped into existence between her eyes as she considered the new bargain. "Deal," she said after a moment of thought.

Now for my apology... I'd never tried to dazzle Bella on purpose before, but now seemed like a good time.

"Oh great," Bella mumbled, blushing already. The thought of him actually trying to dazzle her was too much for her.

I stared deep into her eyes as I drove away from the school, wondering if I was doing it right. I used my most persuasive tone.

"Then I'm very sorry I upset you."

Her heartbeat thudded louder than before, and the rhythm was abruptly staccato.

Her eyes widened, looking a little stunned.

I half-smiled. It seemed like I'd gotten it right. Of course, I was having a bit of difficulty looking away from her eyes, too. Equally dazzled. It was a good thing I had this road memorized.

"What?" Bella said, snapping out of her daze... she liked thinking of them both being dazzled by each other... but still, "He's not even looking at the road!"

"But he has it memorized... that's just as good," Jacob laughed at her expression.

"That is not good at all!" Bella snapped, note to self, no dazzling in the car... um... while it's moving at least.

"And I'll be on your doorstep bright and early Saturday morning," I added, finishing the agreement.

She blinked swiftly, shaking her head as if to clear it. "Um," she said, "it doesn't help with the Charlie situation if an unexplained Volvo is left in the driveway."

"He's not going to take his car," Bella said, how little she understood him in this book.

Ah, how little she still knew me. "I wasn't intending to bring a car."

Bella blinked at that and then smiled, it was nice knowing they could think alike.

"How - " she started to ask.

I interrupted her. The answer would be hard to explain without a demonstration, and now was hardly the time. "Don't worry about it. I'll be there, no car."

She put her head on one side, and looked for a second like she was going to press for more, but then she seemed to change her mind.

"Is it later yet?" she asked, reminding me of our unfinished conversation in the cafeteria today; she'd let go of one difficult question just to return another that was more unappealing.

"Yeah, isn't that nice of her," Jacob chuckled.

"I suppose it is later," I agreed unwillingly.

I parked in front of her house, tensing as I tried to think of how to explain...without making my monstrous nature too evident, without frightening her again. Or was that wrong? To minimalize my darkness?

She waited with the same politely interested mask she'd worn at lunch. If I'd been less anxious, her preposterous calm would have made me laugh.

"And you still want to know why you can't see me hunt?" I asked.

"Well, mostly I was wondering about your reaction," she said.

"Did I frighten you?" I asked, positive that she would deny it.

"No."

I tried not to smile, and failed. "I apologize for scaring you." And then my smile vanished with the momentary humor. "It was just the very thought of you being there...while we hunted."

Jacob shivered at that.

"That would be bad?"

The mental picture was too much - Bella, so vulnerable in the empty darkness; myself, out of control... I tried to banish it from my head.

"Well, you don't have to send it our way," Jacob snapped.

"Extremely."

"Because...?"

I took a deep breath, concentrating for one moment on the burning thirst. Feeling it, managing it, proving my dominion over it. It would never control me again - I willed that to be true. I would be safe for her. I stared at the welcome clouds without seeing them, wishing I could believe that my determination would make any difference if I were hunting when I crossed her scent.