Forget About Midnight (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #9)(63)

Kale and I exchanged a smile. Once Jez got fired up about something, there was no stopping her until she’d burnt herself out.

“Helping Brinley will be good for you both,” Kale said. “It’ll keep you girls fighting the good fight.”

“Lord knows Alexa needs it,” Jez quipped. “No offense.”

“There’s no argument here.” I shrugged and gazed out the window at the passing scenery, seeking a welcome reminder that I was meant for more than mindless slaughter. If I could find an outlet for the bloodlust that allowed me to deliver a little justice while appeasing the hunger, it could go a long way in keeping me from losing myself entirely.

Kale leaned forward between the seats and put a hand on Jez’s shoulder. “Would you mind taking me to my house? I have a lot to do before I leave. Packing and whatnot.”

Jez frowned. “What about your car? It’s at The Wicked Kiss. And we’re almost there.”

“Yeah, about that.” Kale dug his car keys out of a pocket. He grabbed my hand and pressed them into my palm. “I thought maybe you could take care of it while I’m gone.”

I turned in my seat as much as the seatbelt would allow. There were no words for what I was feeling. This horrible sensation crawled up my spine, and anxiety punched me in the stomach.

“Kale… are you sure you trust me with it?” I forced a smile, trying to make light of something that was unbearably heavy. “I might be tempted to do something reckless, like you know, actually drive it.”

He chuckled, but like me, the humor didn’t reach his eyes. “There is nobody else I would trust with it.”

“Hey,” Jez protested, pulling into a parking lot so she could turn around and head back the way we’d come. “No fair.”

Ignoring her, Kale added, “Besides, it’s proof to you both that I have every intention of coming back. I’d never leave it here if I didn’t.”

I nodded and had to drop my gaze. Deep breaths did little to calm me. My body just didn’t work that way any more. Or perhaps it was just one of my many flaws. I was too emotional for my own good.

“Shit, Kale. Do you really have to do this?” Jez’s voice had lost its hard edge. Her tough girl image had faded once she realized that goodbye was upon us.

Kale’s heavy sigh hurt me to hear. Knowing that this was hurting him as much as it was hurting me should have been comforting, but it wasn’t. It made it harder.

“Yeah, Jez. I really do. Trust me, I’m not loving it either. But it feels like the right thing to do.”

“Well… f*ck you for being so damn responsible.” There was no venom in her voice despite the words. She stared straight ahead, fingers tight on the wheel. Kale patted her shoulder, and she shrugged him off. Some of us didn’t do this emotional shit so well.

Every block flew by too fast. The closer we got to Kale’s house, the more panicked I became. At one point he put his head in his hands and said with a ragged groan, “God, Alexa. You feel like you’re going to explode.”

“Sorry,” I murmured. My energy was frazzled, buzzing at a high frequency, too high. It had the potential to be dangerous.

I clutched the keys to his Camaro so hard they dug into my palm. I felt nothing, not even when they drew blood. Once I noticed, I quickly stuffed them into my jacket. I can’t do this.

I caught Jez looking at me as if she’d heard my thought and shared it. I was so grateful to have her. We wouldn’t get through this without each other. Kale meant so damn much to each of us. How would we move past this? It had been the three of us for so long. Except that it hadn’t. Not really. Life always got in the way.

A knot formed in my throat when we turned onto Kale’s street. It was quiet, inactive. I couldn’t decide if I needed to scream, cry, or detach entirely and just be numb.

“Jez, I’ll be leaving the house keys under the back step. If you don’t mind keeping an eye on the place, that’d be great.” Kale stared at the floor, unable to look at either one of us.

Jez scoffed, trying to lighten the mood. “So she gets to cruise in your car, and I get to dust your house. Don’t think I didn’t notice the favoritism there.”

He laughed then, and I managed to smile if only because the sound warmed me. How would I handle not hearing that precious sound?

“All right,” Kale said, flinging open his door. “Let’s get this over with. I’m not good at this shit.”

We all got out of the Jeep, and Kale started by grabbing Jez in a giant hug that forced tears from her eyes. A streak of mascara made its way down her cheek. Just watching her hold tight to him caused tiny pinpricks behind my eyes.

“You better call me every f*cking night,” she demanded. “Don’t let Jenner suck you into his weird stage antics. It’s totally not cool. And if some bitch named Sloane shows up, tell me immediately. The bitch held a gun to my head, and I owe her one.”

Kale chuckled, and he held on a moment longer when she started to pull away. “Got it. Take care of yourself, Jez. Let Alexa help you. Help each other, ok?”

She nodded and stepped back, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “Call me the minute you land.” Without another word, she got into the Jeep and stared down the street, giving us as much privacy as possible.

An ache in my stomach made me worry that I might throw up. That would be ugly. When he turned to me with misty eyes, the last of my strength crumbled.