Back in the Saddle (Jessica Brodie Diaries #1)(77)

The next day I was super busy. I woke up and had to get in some crying. I showered and cried some more. I got a cab to pick up my car, which was now making some scary noises, then went to visit Gladis and tried to convince her that I hadn’t been crying while we were playing chess. I don’t think it worked. Then I went to the gym and worked myself until I could barely walk.

The pain was so fresh, again. The tear so real and jagged. It had just always felt so right with him. Like we were meant to find each other. Deep down I thought he was the gold at the end of the rainbow. That I’d had to fail with men, over and over, then move to another place for independence, and was finally settling into what I was meant to be. That equation seemed to work with him in it. Since that first meeting, I’d felt it.

And now I had to face that I’d had it all wrong. This town was just like any other. There was no more magic here than in L.A. Less, probably.

In the late afternoon I was lonely, so I went back to brave the hospital. Gladis still tried to press me for what was wrong, but I wouldn’t budge. I didn’t really want to talk about it. I didn’t want to leave her side, either, but I was not about to sit through a sponge bath.

As I was walking through the hospital lobby on my way out, I got a strange tingling in my stomach. It felt like zombie butterflies trying to resurrect themselves. It really could have been anything—gas, stress, nerves. It was very likely that my Id, that little ego part of me, just woke up from a nap and realized I looked a disgrace and shouldn't be in public.

I was nearly to the exit when I heard: “Jessica, I wondered if I might have a word?”

I looked up to see William striding toward me. Then down at myself.

I had sweaty, unwashed hair pulled back in a ponytail. I had ruminants of day old make-up that I didn't completely sweat off at the gym or wash away in the shower. I had half workout clothes, equipped with boob flattening sports bra, and worst of all, sweats. Not the cute sporty sweats basketball, soccer, or hip sports players wore. No. The gray, holy things that your mother wore to the store on Saturday mornings before she took a shower and did her make-up. The things you swore you would never wear in public.

Great timing, as ever.

“Um, sure. Do you mind if we get out of the hospital first? I hate hospitals.”

“Of course. That would be better.”

I was not quite sure what he wanted to say to me, and I found that I didn’t much care. Come Monday, I planned to organize my move away from this town.

We made it to my car without William opening his trap. I was sure it was just an apology for making me cry the night before. It wasn’t something I cared to hear.

“Did you want to talk to me, William?” I asked, having opened my car door.

“Yes. Can we go somewhere for coffee?”

Can’t we just get this over with?

“I guess. As long as it’s quick.”

He briefly looked hurt before his face went blank again. “There is a place just up the road. Would you like me to drive?”

“No thank you. I’ll meet you there.”

It seemed like he wanted to say more, but he curtly nodded and backed up. I got in my hoopty and attempted to start her up. There were a few sputters and a valid attempt, then nothing.

“Not now!” I muttered at the car. I tried again. Less sputters and a half-hearted attempt to turn over. Nothing.

“Fuuuuuuuck.” I put my head on the steering wheel.

Was now a good time to ask the boss for a raise so I could buy a decent car?

I got out and slammed the door. William was standing a couple feet off, waiting for my reaction.

“What?” I asked snottily.

He shook his head and shrugged. “I could look at it. I know a little bit about cars.”

I looked back at my pile of junk and shook my head. “No point. It’s dead. I had just hoped it would last a couple more months so I could get rid of it and get out of here.”

“To Australia, you mean?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah.” I looked out at the parking lot, full of cars glittering in the noon sun. Cars that actually worked. But unless I was going to take to grand theft auto, there weren’t many options. “Well shit, I guess I wouldn’t mind a ride after all. I’ll worry about this thing later. Maybe I can give it a little water; bring it back from the dead. Again.”

He gestured for me to walk with him. We walked a short way to a fairly new, dark silver Audi. Now, this was what I was saying about just buying the top of the line.

“Nice car,” I said half-heartedly. Not the time to be sullen, but I couldn’t help it. Some people had it all.

He kept quiet. Wise.

“You can change the station if you want.” He indicated the radio as he settled into his plush leather seat. Some sort of country was playing.

“It’s fine,” I said, still with a shitty attitude.

I saw the coffee shop he was talking about as it whizzed by.

“You missed the coffee place,” I said without feeling.

“Do you mind if we go someplace quieter?”

“Are you planning to take me out to the dessert to murder me? Cause if so, I would really rather head to the coffee shop.”

He chuckled. “I had not planned that, no. One death is enough for today.”

“One death?”

He looked at me with mischief in his piercing eyes. “Your car. Being in the hospital parking lot didn’t help it any.”