Redemption(67)

“My parents’ divorce was horrendous. Long after they’d split, called each other every name in the book, and virtually destroyed the other both publicly and privately, they still used me as a pawn. I became their tool for revenge.” He stared out the window as though his memories were playing on the glass. “They had joint custody. One week here, then a week there. I never felt like I had a home, and it was during a time where no one was divorced. My mom and dad didn’t even try to hide from me that I was their greatest weapon…like somehow that would build my self-esteem.”

“You know, not all marriages are like that?”

“No, but statistically most are. Brett and Annie are unique. They certainly aren’t the norm.”

“But don’t we choose that? I want our marriage to be just like theirs.”

He gazed at Alissa like she held the answers to the world’s problem, and maybe she did. Maybe all children did.

“Our marriage will be what we make it. Even if that’s without children.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“The no children part?”

I nodded my head. I didn’t want to probe his statement. We’d agreed neither of us wanted kids. He can’t have them, and I have no business with them. I didn’t want to acknowledge the shift I’d seen in him since his goddaughter’s birth. I loved that he loved her and knew he’d cherish their next baby just the same, but this was safe…for both of us.

“I made that decision years ago, Lissa. And I stand by that choice. I’m just grateful I found a woman with the same mindset, who is willing to love our friends’ children but go home empty-handed at the end of the day.”

Dan’s phone rang, breaking the tension that had crept into the room and the conversation. He handed Alissa back to me so he could answer the call. I prayed it was Brett with an update. We hadn’t heard from him in over an hour.

“Hello?”

Listening to one side of a conversation when you were anticipating news was awful. They’d left over seven hours ago, and I hoped Annie hadn’t been in active labor since then.

“Everyone’s good?”

My heart raced with excitement. I raised my eyebrows trying to entice him to say something that would tell me what was going on, but Brett held Dan captivated.

He finally disconnected the call. His eyes danced, and a smile spread from ear to ear.

“They have a son. Brett said he’s perfect, and of course, Annie’s in love. Everyone’s healthy and doing well. He said we can bring Alissa up any time we’re ready to meet him.”

“What’s his name? How long was he? What’d he weigh?” I bounced nervously with the baby in my arms.

Dan put his hand on my thigh to still my movements. He glanced at Alissa, and I realized she was sleeping, and he didn’t want me to wake her.

“They haven’t picked a name yet. But Brett said Annie agreed to let him name him. I don’t know about the other.”

I rolled my eyes. “Seriously? You didn’t ask?”

“No. I just wanted to know they were okay.”

As much as his simplicity irritated me, I adored it, too. He didn’t care about the things that didn’t matter. All he worried about was their health and happiness.

“This has been a long journey for them. Annie never thought they’d have children, and Brett would have done anything to give them to her. He even tried to buy her one on the black market. If you hadn’t come along, I don’t think they would have had either. I’m convinced the only reason she got pregnant was because the stress of conceiving was gone when you were pregnant.”

I laughed. Annie had mentioned Brett putting out feelers to buy a baby, but I’d thought it was all a joke—an exaggeration of what they’d gone through.

“You laugh, but that man would slay dragons for her.” He stood and kissed my temple. “The same way I would for you.”

I grabbed his hand before he could leave the room. When I stared into his eyes, all I could see was devotion tinged with a hint of sadness. I’d never experienced what he offered me, not from my parents, not from Matt—no one had ever loved me the way he did. “Are you okay?”

He patted my butt and nodded. “Come on. I know you want to meet the latest addition to the Ryann family.”

We ended up waiting until Alissa woke up. After we had fed her, Dan called Brett to let him know we were on our way. Annie’s friends had already been by, and she was napping, but he assured us they wanted us to join them.

Introducing Alissa to Baby Boy Ryann, who still didn’t have a name, was one of the greatest experiences of my life. I doubt they knew they were connected, but I’d swear it felt that way. Even in her tiny form, she clutched his little hand like a protective big sister. I couldn’t help but think she told him to hang on for the ride.

I wasn’t prepared for the flood of emotion when I held that sweet little boy. He looked nothing like my Joshua, but he had that same baby scent mothers love. As tears ran down my cheeks, I held him close and inhaled deeply. The two of us sat in a chair in the corner while Annie, Brett, and Dan chattered on like she hadn’t just had a baby. I relished in the private moment I got to share with him. With his head nuzzled near my nose, I whispered softly to him, reassuring him he’d have the best life with parents who’d done everything they could to get him here. I thought back to the first time I’d held my son and how amazed I’d been at the life God had blessed me with.