Redemption(63)

Dan stopped in his tracks. His hands dropped to his side, and he stared at me in shock.

I laughed, but it sounded more like nervous apprehension than my amusement with his misunderstanding. “Not like that, Dan. I mean I’m going to have to start doing things for myself again. I won’t be able to call on you to put my tennis shoes on my feet and tie them for me. Or go out at all hours of the night to get me cookies. Or get you to take out the trash because it might be too heavy for me to lift.” I cuddled up to his chest in an attempt to reassure him he’d misunderstood. “I promise, Dan. I’ve just gotten lazy, and I enjoy how protective you are when I’m in this state.”

He relaxed into me, but I knew he wasn’t convinced. Or maybe Annie was right. Maybe Dan had changed his mind and was looking for an opening to discuss it with me. I hated shutting it down, but there was nothing to discuss. We’d both adamantly said we were opposed to children. I wouldn’t let him change his mind now.

“The protective part will never change, Lissa. And I’ll always do my best to dote on you…but you’re on your own with your shoes after the delivery.”

“Speaking of delivery. Are you and Brett going to get the stuff we need for the water birth now that we have a house to put it in?”

“It’s on the list of things to accomplish today. Don’t worry. We’ll get it all taken care of.”

I wasn’t worried. I just wanted everything to be perfect.





18





Chapter Eighteen





Annie had been making daily visits to our house since we’d both stopped working, and Dan and Brett were freaked out about either of us being alone for any length of time. In my condition, I wasn’t doing much besides showering daily and making dinner. I felt like all I did these days was eat, but thankfully, I hadn’t gained a lot of weight. I was twenty-five pounds heavier than when we started this but knew it could be much worse. Annie normally arrived between eight and nine, but she was moving slower than usual with her growing belly.

I didn’t want to be one of those women who became hypersensitive and ran to the hospital at the slightest twinge of pain, but I was acutely aware of how different my body felt today. I only had to make it two more weeks to see this precious little baby I’d been toting around for months, and I wanted to make sure it went smoothly. But something was off. I wasn’t in pain, but I’d been to the restroom three times in the last five minutes and each time I’d peed more only to sit down somewhere other than the toilet and…leak. The things that happened to a woman’s body during pregnancy were not for the faint at heart.

I needed backup and called my neighbor. “I keep peeing on myself.” She’d barely gotten her greeting out before I’d made my pronouncement. We’d had a lot of these conversations in the past couple weeks, and I could see her giggling even if I couldn’t hear her.

“Were you coughing?”

“No.” I half laughed, but concern was at the forefront of my mind. “I went to the bathroom, and when I came back to sit down on the couch, I peed a little. So, I went back to the bathroom, sat down, and peed again. It wasn’t a lot, but I definitely peed again.”

“Lissa, you’re paranoid. You’re pregnant. We pee frequently.”

“Yeah, I’d agree except it happened three more times before I called you. I haven’t sat back down.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing. You’re only thirty-eight weeks. Have you called Dr. Matthews?”

“No. Will you come over and call with me?”

“Of course! Give me about five minutes, and I’ll be there.”

I watched for her to leave her house so I could meet her at the door.

“You all right?”

“Scared.” It was hard to admit to the mother whose child I carried.

“Let’s go call the doctor’s office and see what they say. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“Ugh, I don’t want to be one of those women.”

She giggled at my melodramatic response. “What women?”

“The ones who go to the hospital fifteen times thinking they’re in labor only to be told it’s a false alarm.”

“Well, since we have a midwife coming to the house, I’d say you’re safe there. But it’s probably nothing big. Are you in any pain?”

I wasn’t and shook my head. I wanted to call Dan. I wanted him to come home. I wanted the security of his embrace. I loved Annie, but I needed him right now. I pushed those feelings down and focused on the task at hand.

Together we called the doctor’s office, and the nurse seemed to agree it wasn’t anything to be alarmed about but had me come in anyway. We still hadn’t called Dan, and with each passing minute my anxiety climbed higher. He was my fortress, and I wanted to be within the protection of his arms. After waiting for over an hour pacing in the waiting room, a nurse finally called me back. I couldn’t confirm it, but I think I was starting to freak the other patients out, so they bumped me up in the line.

Once in the exam room, the nurse handed me a paper gown. Annie rolled her eyes, but I would have stood there naked if it meant everything was okay. Annie helped me in my struggle to undress. I was mortified when I gave her a wide crotch shot, but I chose to ignore it. By the time this was all over, there wouldn’t be anything on my body she or her husband hadn’t seen.