Happily Ever Awkward (The H.E.A. Files, #1)(61)

FAILURE!





WORTHLESS!





NOT GOOD ENOUGH!





NEVER GOOD ENOUGH!





Paul plunged through a vortex of mocking voices and jeering faces and the terrible, poisonous laughter that sent sweat racing down his spine and his heart racing into his stomach.

Worse than before, the weight of his shame crushed him to his knees and when he finally reached the end of his fall, he landed at the feet of Fear-Luscious. She towered over him while shadows swirled and swallowed him into his worst nightmare.

“You again?” she scoffed.

Paul bowed his head.

“I thought I told you I never wanted to see you again,” she said.

Paul looked up through thunderhead brows.

“Why do you persist in wasting my time?! You can’t have me!” Fear-Luscious said, not noticing the change in her victim.

At least not until Paul tried to cut off her head.

Back in reality, though Fear-Luscious continued to pour her shadows through Paul’s eyes, he didn’t seem to mind. Without hesitation, he swung the Singing Sword at her head.

Quick as thought, her free arm transformed into a sword, which she used to deflect the blow. Ripping her other hand from his eyes, the remainder of the princess instantly deformed. Like black clay in the hands of an invisible sculptor, she took on the aspect of a terrifying warrior in spiky black armor. It shoved Paul back.

The prince quickly regained his footing, and a cocky smile crept across his face. “Is that the best you can do? Maybe it’s time for us to talk about what scares you.”

“That’s what you get!” the Singing Sword cried, unable to contain its enthusiasm. Then, feeling embarrassed, it said, “Don’t mind me. I’ll just get back to the music.”

A vicious tribal drumbeat thundered from the Sword as the midnight-armored Fear-Warrior charged forward and Paul met it halfway. The fighting was furious, more furious than you can imagine on your own. To help you imagine it, allow me to make this suggestion: picture the most brutal sword fight you have ever seen. Now multiply it times seven. That was this sword fight.

Paul fought the way his father had always hoped he might fight. He fought with all the strength and ferocity of his lost barbarian heritage. There was nothing halting or awkward about his technique anymore, and he began to prevail. He had become a warrior, fighting for what was right, and—

The Fear-Warrior shivered, causing additional limbs to sprout from its sides. Paul suddenly found himself defending against four sword arms.

“That’s what you get,” growled the Fear-Warrior.





49



CHAINS OF LOVE


“What is the point of all these chains!”

Princess Luscious and Laura retreated toward the edge of the platform, dragging four lengths of chain behind them. Each chain was shackled to one of the princess’ wrists or ankles and made it very difficult to move quickly.

“This is ridiculous,” Princess Luscious continued to rant. “They’re too long and they’re too heavy!”

“Just keep going!” Laura said, yanking the bulky chains forward to create more slack.

The chains were indeed long. Seeboth had coiled them beside the altar, and so far the girls’ frantic flight had unspooled at least twenty-five feet from each pile. The coils had collapsed, spilling knotted loops across the platform. The problem was, no matter how much they spilled, the girls couldn’t move any farther. Although a great deal of chain still remained, the platform had come to an end.

Glancing over the edge, they could see nothing but a significant amount of absolutely nothing followed by a beach and its festering lagoon far, far below.

“So now what?” Princess Luscious asked. When Laura made no response, the princess said, “Laura, I command you to answer me — what do we do now?” She wheeled from the edge to find Laura staring back across the platform.

Seeboth had returned, advancing toward them with the Judgment Blade flickering wickedly in his hands.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this, my sweet,” he said.

“Stay back,” Princess Luscious warned.

“You know I can’t do that,” he said.

“Laura, stop him!” Princess Luscious cried.

Seeboth shot a glance at Laura that lasted only one eighth of a second, but within that span of time he was more than able to get his message across. Laura slowly backed out of his way until she stood to one side of the princess.

“Laura…?” Princess Luscious didn’t know what else to say.

The handmaiden just shook her head without looking at her princess. In part, this lack of eye contact could be attributed to the fact that the princess still glowed like a woman-sized sun, but mostly it could be attributed to the weight of Laura’s shame.

“Fine, I don’t need you, I’ll do it myself!”

Princess Luscious grabbed one of the chains with both hands and tried to whip it at Seeboth. “I’ll… just… I’ll beat you with your own horrid chains!”

She swung it up and down, but her best efforts did little more than launch a ripple about ten feet along the bulky fetter.

Seeboth easily sidestepped the clanking gyrations of the iron links as they slithered about his feet. “It hurts to hear you say such things, dearest. These chains — don’t you realize? They symbolize my love.”