Confessions of a Curious Bookseller(20)
Good luck!
Fawn, Owner
P.S. Kyle, after lunch tomorrow I will give you ten dollars. Please go out and buy as many candy canes as you can with it (and get a receipt). Buy Bob’s brand—everything else tastes like peppermint-flavored glue.
From: Florence Eakins
Sent: Thu, Dec 13, 2018 at 9:45 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Video
Hi Fawn,
Wanted to share this video I made of Little Joe singing for Dad. He is doing his best Josh Groban impression, clearly. He just loves that singer so much. It’s so cute. Also, this isn’t in the video, but right after, Dad started talking to me like I was you. I should have caught it on tape. He said you didn’t sweep the front steps this morning like he asked and now his customers are going to drag in the dirt. Remember when he used to rail about that all the time? “You’re gonna drag in the dirt!” Hahaha, as if the store wasn’t filthy already. So glad those days are over. (I guess for him they’re not.) Hope you enjoy this. I love the smile on Dad’s face.
Flo
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Fri, Dec 14, 2018 at 4:30 PM
To: Fortieth Street Catering
Re: Delightful Mouthfuls
Dear Carl,
I am following up on my email about reconsidering the pricing for our humble company party. Please reply because if you cannot make this work, I will need to start seeking alternatives soon.
Thank you ever so much,
Fawn Birchill, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium (a Mark Twain specialist store)
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Fri, Dec 14, 2018 at 6:00 PM
To: Staff
Subject: Closing Tills
Dear Staff,
Thank you for informing me that many of our usual customers have wandered over to the Grumpy Mug after visiting our store without buying anything. The fact is, we have books and so do they (though I imagine their inventory is less impressive), and so I must assume that they are merely dropping in for some coffee before heading home. This could explain our horrible closing till reports. People have grown to connect drinking hot liquids with reading—a century-long tradition that smart bookstores have taken advantage of. Therefore, let us do the same. This might turn things around!
Do not despair, dear staff!
With high hopes,
Fawn, Owner
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Fri, Dec 14, 2018 at 6:32 PM
To: Missy’s Co-op
Subject: We could make quite a pear!
Dear Missy’s Co-op,
As you may very well know, my name is Fawn and I frequent your co-op every Saturday for various goods such as fruit, vegetables, teas, rice, barley, oats, nuts, etc. I just love your little shop. It reminds me of my father’s small general store in Norristown—though he didn’t have the kind of selection or homey feel. Instead of wood floors, he had broken and chipped linoleum; instead of wainscoting, he had cheap faux-wood paneling out of the seventies. I toiled many hours weighing out the rice and the oats until I thought I could eyeball a bag and know the volume without needing to weigh it. Anyway, since I feel such a strong connection to your store both nostalgically and on a community level, I would love it if we could pair up. Perhaps you could sell some of your coffee at my store? We can split it 80/20 since I am offering the venue and you are receiving the free advertisement. I believe that as fellow small business owners, we must reach out to each other and see what needs doing. Since I am a frequent customer and so well connected in the community, and since I don’t believe you’ve ever stopped by for a visit, the time to officially acknowledge each other’s professional presence is long overdue! Think on it? See you Saturday!
Fawn Birchill, Owner, The Curious Cat Book Emporium (a Mark Twain specialist store)
From: Missy’s Co-op
Sent: Fri, Dec 14, 2018 at 7:07 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: We could make quite a pear!
Dear Fern,
Thank you for your interest in partnering with our co-op! We are already in a partnership (as of two weeks ago) with the Grumpy Mug Bookstop, and their demand has been so high that we have been struggling to keep up our inventory! At this time we are not able to partner, but as an aside, an 80/20 split in your favor would also not be tenable for us. We would, however, be happy to offer you a 10 percent discount off any of our whole bean bags for the purpose of selling coffee in your store.
Thank you again for your interest!
Missy’s Co-op
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Dec 15, 2018 at 8:16 AM
To: Missy’s Co-op
Re: We could make quite a pear!
Dear Missy’s Co-op,
I am sorry that you will not be taking me up on this mutually beneficial offer. I think the fact that you partnered with the Grumpy Mug should in no way stop you from also partnering with me. Regarding your offer, the coffee is quite expensive, so I’m sorry but a 10 percent discount just isn’t sufficient. A partnership with a more favorable split would be better.
Like the Grumpy Mug, we also get many customers, and I think we can agree that the only reason the Grumpy Mug is getting such excellent business is because they are new. Eventually when the thrill wears off, my customers will return like the prodigal son to my charming, literature-loving store. We are not très chic like the Grumpy Mug, and because of that we often get your most common clientele: vagabonds. I know because I can smell them minutes after they’ve left. They leave in their wake a sad afterglow of an unaccomplished life that smells of unwashed skin and patchouli. I’d much rather be smelling your coffee. Wouldn’t you agree?