Blessed Tragedy(8)

After the first half of our set, the arena went quiet as the spotlight turned to Jon as he jumped off his platform.

“How's everyone doin' tonight?” He screamed into the microphone. Cheers erupted and women began screaming professions of love along with all the things they'd like to do to Jon. I shook my head as I did every night, a combination of amusement and disgust on my face.

When he held up his hand, the volume came down again although not as quiet as it had been. “I need to tell you guys something and I'm hoping Rain won't embed one of those heels in the middle of my back when we walk off stage later.”

He looked over at me to make sure I was okay with where he was going. I nodded. Jon knew how much I cherished my privacy and we hadn't mentioned anything at the last show about my mom. Tonight, it was time.

“For those who didn't know, our girl Rain is one of the toughest bitches in the business. Most people in her position right now, I don't give a shit if it's man or woman, would be a wreck. A few nights ago, right after we got done with our show in Memphis, Rain got a phone call no one wants to get...” the catcalls stopped and all attention was on Jon's words.

I felt my knees starting to shake and glanced in Colton's direction. Before my mind could register his movement, Colton had handed his guitar to Travis and had his arm wrapped around me. I looked to my right and saw Travis on my other side, watching me like a hawk. Without a word, they knew I needed them. After we got off stage, I knew I needed to talk to all three of them.

“Rain wasn't even out to the bus the other night when her brother called to let her know that their mom passed away.” Words of support were shouted throughout the arena. I buried my head in Colton's shoulder to try to pull myself together. “We tried to throw her ass off the bus this morning to be with her family, but apparently they couldn't handle her either.”

Colton leaned forward to slap Jon, knowing he'd hit a trigger for me. Jon continued, “That's a damn lie. Anyone who knows Rain knows she's got a hard shell but she's an amazing woman. If you have a drink, lift it high over your head. Tonight, we're celebrating Rain's mom. She did a damn fine job raising her and then turned her over to us. From here on out, the Blessed Tragedy family has an amazing angel up there.”

A bottle of Jameson appeared on stage and we all took a long draw off the bottle. Colton pressed his forehead against mine. We didn't say anything, we didn't need to. I knew he was making sure I was okay to keep going. I nodded and he kissed my forehead. It was a tender exchange that would have embarrassed me if I'd thought about the fact we were in front of a sold-out audience. It didn't matter.

Jon and Travis offered quick condolences leaving Colton and I standing alone on the stage. It was then that I noticed there were two stools behind us. Holding Colton's hand, I settled myself onto one and motioned for him to take the other as I positioned my acoustic guitar on my lap.

Amazing is the only way to describe the feeling of sitting out there with him laying my soul bare for everyone to see as we sang I Will Be There. While it was meant to be a tribute for my mother, I couldn't help but feel as if Colton was singing every word directly to me. In front of six thousand people, I began to realize feelings I'd been ignoring for years.

When the song was done, I looked to where Colton said my family would be. There, I saw my dad and all three of my brothers blowing kisses my direction as they wiped tears from their eyes. If I never had the opportunity to get on stage again, my life would have been complete.





Chapter Five



The crash I felt after the show was nearly immediate and harder than the one I experienced most nights. I didn't have the energy to fight my way through crowds of groupies hoping to score with my buddies. I wasn't in the mood to hear everyone tell me how sorry they were for my loss. That's the problem with allowing the news of her death to go public; everyone would feel like they had to say something. The truth was there was nothing I really needed or wanted to hear.

Colton walked me to my dressing room, pushing away anyone who came near me. “I'm proud of you,” he whispered as we made our way through the hall. “You kept up the act as long as you needed to, now you do what you have to do. Just wash your face first; I don't want a repeat of clown face.”

I backhanded him in the chest. “Funny. I'll be fine. Can you make sure Dad and my brothers make it back here without being accosted?”

“Already on it.” He opened the door to my dressing room and I saw a box of gourmet chocolates, another bottle of Jameson and five glasses sitting on the vanity. “The chocolates are for you. The rest you can share.”

“Why did you do all of this?”

I flopped onto the loveseat, the last of my energy spent. Colton pulled my legs onto his lap so he could take off my boots. When he started rubbing my throbbing, swollen feet, I threw my head back, certain I could fall asleep.

“I knew it was gonna be a rough one for you and I wanted to make it a little easier. Personally, I think you should have taken the night off but I understood what Mark was saying. Did you want to get a nap in before we leave?”

Before we leave? What in the hell did Mark tell him? My eyes shot open. “No, I can sleep in the van on the way back to my dad's. You do realize I still have to go back there, right?”

Colton laughed. “You really don't talk to your family, do you?” I tried to tamp down the flutter I felt in my stomach at the sight of his bright smile. As cliché as it sounds, when Colton smiled, his entire face really did light up right up to his eyes.

“We're working on it. What's going on?”

“It's road trip time, baby girl.” Colton pulled me onto his lap. “You can't freak out, okay?” If I'd had more energy, more sleep and less of an emotional rollercoaster, I might have had the energy to flip out on him. Instead, I leaned into him to hear what he had to say. “Your dad invited us to come home with you. He knows that we're just as much your family now as they are and he asked us to come for you.”

“But--”

“Nope, no buts. Our next show isn't for three days. You and I are going to ride the bike. Jon and Trav will ride with your brothers. Then, we'll rent a car to head down to Wichita. It'll be fine. Hell, it might even be fun.”

If a person's brain could explode from too much information to process in a short time, that would have been the moment of my demise. My dad had invited my tattooed and pierced band mates to come home with us and attend my mother's funeral. This was going to be memorable if nothing else.

“Okay, but what are you going to wear? You can't exactly show up in jeans and t-shirts. Are Jon and Trav really on board with all of this?”

Colton nodded. “Yep, they're all-in. Said it'd be good to get away from the bus and sleep in a bed for a couple of nights. And we let Mark loose in the mall with a list of sizes. They ran out after bringing you dinner. It'll be fine.”

Knowing I'd have my rock with me as I went through the next few days, the tension in my shoulders eased a bit. I still wasn't sure how everything was going to work out but somehow I knew it would.



My brothers barged through the door without knocking and I sprang from the loveseat like a teen caught necking. “Don't you *s know it's dangerous to walk into a rock star's dressing room after the show? What if I was back here screwing a groupie?” Okay, so I'd never once slept with anyone in the dressing room but they didn't need to know that.

“Yeah, sure.” Mark gave me a loose hug, not wanting to get too close to my sweaty body. “I've seen you after shows before, remember? You're normally busy making sure Jon doesn't take home something nasty. Wasn't a chance you'd be in a compromising position back here.” All of my brothers laughed as my dad pushed them to the side and scooped me into his arms.

“I'm so proud of you, Maddie.” His eyes were filled with tears again. “You were amazing up there.”

“Thanks, Daddy.” I knew I was going to be a hot mess but there was no way to stop the tears from pouring down my face. There's no child out there who doesn't live for the moment their parent says they're proud. I had convinced myself I'd never hear those words.

“Can you guys give me a few minutes to change and clean up?” If I didn't get my makeup off, I was going to leave my mark on all of them thanks to sweat and tears. “Hey Colton, can you run to the bus to get--”

“I'm on it. You get cleaned up and I'll be back.” My dad paid close attention to our conversation and how much we didn't have to say to one another. I figured I was going to be answering questions about the exchange at some point. The truth was Colton and I had been close enough long enough that we were able to anticipated each other's needs.



My dad was sitting on the loveseat when I stepped into the dressing room after a quick shower. “Hey, Dad. Thanks for coming along. It meant a lot to me.” I wondered if the time would come when things weren't so strained between us.