Blessed Tragedy(2)
Instead of hollering back and forth through the bus, Colton followed me. "Trav and I talked about it. We don't like it, but we're going to respect you not wanting us there." His voice was sincere but his face showed how upset he was to be telling me this. Did they really think I didn't want them there?
Grabbing his shoulder, I turned Colton back to where Trav and Jon were starting to work on lyrics for the next album and pushed him down the aisle. I needed to clear the air. Realizing he'd hit a nerve, Colton didn't resist. He actually sat as soon as we reached the benches, leaving me towering over the three people on the face of the planet who loved me unconditionally.
When they started snickering again, I glared at them. They shut up. "Colton said something and I don't want you guys giving me a line of shit about it," I said in the most authoritative voice I could muster. "Do you guys think I don't want you at my mom's funeral?"
Colton raised an eyebrow to the other two. Travis started to say something and then stopped himself. Jon pulled the long, black curls away from his face like he was going to pull the tresses into a ponytail. It was something he did when he was deep in thought.
"Rain, we don't know what the deal is. We want to be there for you but you've made it clear that isn't what you want." Jon reached for my hand, "It's okay, really."
I took a few breaths to collect my own thoughts and then slid back onto the bench next to Colton. It was time to tell them about my life before the band.
I thought Travis was going to have to see a doctor to have his jaw set back in place when I revealed that I'd been the co-captain of the cheerleading squad. It was only partly because of the shock on his face. The rest was because I may have clocked him a little harder than I meant to when he begged me to bring my cheer uniform back with me.
I broke down bawling as I told them how disappointed my mom was the last time I saw her. Once the initial shock over my appearance wore off, she begged me to enroll in college.
“You have so much potential,” she told me time and again, “It's a shame to see you wasting your life when you could be taking steps to the future you deserve.”
Apparently being happy didn't figure into my mother's idea of what my future should hold. To her, it was all about getting a "sensible degree" and finding a Ken to live happily ever after with my Barbie persona.
To say my family isn't accepting of those who live outside their limited view of what's normal and right is an understatement. If I walked in with my three best friends, Mom would roll over in her grave.
Travis might be passable in their eyes since he can pull off clean-cut with the help of a long sleeved shirt and some hair gel. Jon would turn their stomachs with his hair and abundance of tattoos. Colton would be the one to induce postmortem gymnastics. His dark blond hair flows nearly to his waist and always has a bit of a greasy look. I'm not saying that in a bad way. It suits him and I can assure you it doesn't feel the way it looks. He has a tattoo sleeve on his right arm and six individual tats on his left, in addition to his brother's name tattooed across his fingers. Add a lip ring and a double pierced eyebrow and you have every parent's worst nightmare.
"Damn, sweetie," Colton sighed when I was done giving them the laundry list of reasons it would be more stressful to have them there than to deal without their support.
"Guess we know why you don't talk about them much. Now, if you want to continue this conversation, can you please go wash your damn face? It's seriously hard to keep a straight face when you look like that." Jon and Travis started howling at Colton's blunt statement. I shot them a dirty look before turning on my heels towards the bedroom.
One look in the mirror explained why Colton said it was hard to look at me without laughing. I was surprised they held it together as long as they did. My eyes were red and puffy from crying. My makeup was not only running down my cheeks, it was down the side of my neck from when I was cuddled up to Colton. Add slightly smeared Russian Red lipstick and I was a steaming hot mess.
While I was in there, I changed out of my black leather pants and halter top in favor of fleece lounge pants and an old t-shirt. I needed to get to bed but I wanted to finish talking to the guys first. Trav was just sitting down when I started down the aisle of the bus. By the time I reached the table, there were four open cans of beer.
Jon picked up a can and the rest of us followed suit. "A toast," he said holding his can in the air, "to Rain's mom. We all owe her a debt of thanks for making our girl the driven, bad ass bitch she is today. May she rest in peace and finally be able to see what an amazing daughter she raised."
Colton and Trav raised their cans to meet Jon's. I slumped into Colton's side as I lifted my beer an inch off the table. I was too exhausted for anything more than a token toast.
The alarm on my phone started screeching earlier than should be legal. Five months on the road had gotten me into the habit of going to bed around six in the morning, not waking up at that hour. The last thing I wanted to do was pull myself from under Colton's warm embrace but it had to be done.
The first few times I woke like this, I freaked out. Getting involved in a relationship with a band mate is like getting involved with the roommate you also work with. It's great in theory because you always see each other; but it's almost certain to fail because you always see one another. And that's why, no matter what it might look like as we slept, Colton and I would never be anything more.
Colton quickly proved to be a complete gentleman, something he swore me to never tell another soul, and we've shared the only real bed on the bus ever since. Not once has he tried anything, even when I know damn well that he's drunk and horny.
After two rounds with the snooze button, I gently kissed his forehead and snuck out of the bedroom. "Morning, Sean," I called to the driver on duty.
"Mornin' sunshine," he responded over his shoulder. Sean's one of my favorite drivers, in spite of the fact that he's chipper in the morning and I'm anything but.
I dug through the cabinets for something to eat while the coffee brewed. "How far to Lex?"
"Just over an hour," he replied. Plenty of time to wake up and get ready to go. I took some time to enjoy the first cup of coffee, mentally preparing myself for everything to come. Part of me wanted to wake the guys and tell them I'd changed my mind, that I wanted them with me. But I didn't.
I plugged in the curling iron at the kitchen table and shuffled to my semi-private room. With any luck, I could get ready without waking anyone. I pulled three shopping bags out of the closet and started packing my suitcase, setting aside a pink cowl neck sweater and skinny jeans for today. It was almost too warm for sweaters but I made sure everything I bought had long sleeves to cover the tattoos on my forearms.
Colton rolled over just as I was dragging my suitcase from the bed. "You taking off soon?" he asked rubbing his bleary eyes.
"Yeah, probably about forty minutes now," I said. "Go back to sleep. You'll be worthless tonight if you get up this early." The guys were still awake when I went to bed so I know he couldn't have slept more than a few hours and Colton was the type of guy who needed his beauty sleep.
He swung his legs off the bed and stretched his arms giving me a peek at his tight abs. "I'll come out with you. I can sleep the rest of the way to Denver." I knew he wouldn't but I was thankful to have the company, not matter how much I said I didn't want it.
We walked silently past the bunks, not wanting to wake Jon and Travis. I grabbed the folding mirror from the bathroom and settled into the bench across from Colton. He shook his head as he watched the transformation from Rain to Maddie take place before his eyes.
Had it been anything other than my mother's funeral, I would agree with what he wasn't saying. It wasn't a secret that Colton was very much the 'what you see is what you get' type of guy. We had talked a little about my family. When my dad let me know mom's cancer was back, Colton told me to be loud and proud, just like I am in the rest of my life. If mom had lived until the tour was done, I might have done just that. But now, I couldn't.
"We're going to see Tony as soon as we get home," I sighed removing my lip ring. The ear holes would survive a few days without the small hoops that normally lined them from lobe to cartilage but my lip ring would be closed by nightfall and I'd catch just as much crap for a retainer as the actual jewelry. Tony was the only person I trusted to put holes in my body.
Colton nodded, "We can jump on the bike as soon as the bus comes to a stop." Someday, Colton was going to make some woman very happy. If circumstances were different, I'd give anything to be that woman; but I wasn't going to jeopardize everything we'd worked for to take that chance.
Twisting the cap onto my sheer pink lip gloss, I looked in the mirror and brought my eyes to Colton's. "How do I look?" He didn't say anything for what felt like hours. I was starting to regret asking when a wide smile broke out on his face.