Blessed Tragedy(11)

Instead, I drew myself up so I was leaning over his face and brushed my lips against his forehead. “That means it's time to get up. I think my aunt is going to be here around eleven, my other aunt and uncle shortly after. By three, I'm going to be begging for a stiff drink with the number of people who are going to be here.”

I pulled a plain forest green t-shirt out of the duffle bag I packed when we were leaving last night. Since my family seemed more accepting of my appearance now, I wasn't going to sweat my ass off until I absolutely had to. I opened my dresser and saw that all of the clothes I'd abandoned years earlier still filled the drawers. I pulled out a pair of denim shorts and pulled them on.

“Ready?” I turned around and saw Colton watching me. It's not like he hadn't seen me get dressed before but the way he looked at me sent a shiver up my spine. It was probably a good thing we were in one of the few places where I could guarantee nothing would happen because I was very close to doing something I knew I'd regret later.

“Yep, let's go.” The way Colton wrapped his arms around me as we walked out the door was becoming all too familiar. We probably looked like a couple of fools waddling down the hallway so we wouldn't step on each other's feet as he pressed into my back but that was okay.

“You know, you keep holding onto me like that and no one's going to believe there's nothing going on,” I laughed as we came to the top of the stairs. “And then we're back to me having to explain your death and I'm pretty sure your little groupies would kick my ass then. It'd just be bad.”

“Okay,” Colton said throwing up his hands in surrender, “You win. But only because I don't want your brothers to kick my ass. They're really not as bad as you make them out to be, you know.”

“Well, let's just say they're not as bad as they used to be. Trust me, the loving family you see right now has only been in existence for about twenty-four hours.”

As I led Colton into the kitchen, the room went silent and everyone turned to look at us. It was obvious Colton's attempt to explain our sleeping arrangements fell on deaf ears based on the scowls on Matt and my dad's faces.



The rest of the morning was spent in awkward silence. I knew part of it had to do with everyone trying to mentally prepare for Mom's visitation and the onslaught of relatives who were on their way to our house but it was still disturbing. I have never been the type who deals well with silence, especially when accompanied by long glances.

My dad asked me if I'd thought about his question and I told him I'd have to talk to Colton to make sure he was with me. While he hadn't asked me about having us do something together, it was the only way I was going to make it through.

Colton and Jon walked through the front door as I made my way towards the basement looking for them. I didn't expect the guys to hang around with my family all day; it was enough just to know they were here for me when I needed them. I motioned to the basement door so I could talk to them in private.

“Hey Colt, can I ask you a huge favor?” He might not think it was anything unusual but it was taking everything I had to ask him to do this.

“I already told you I'm here for whatever you need. If I didn't want to help you out, I'd be on the bus in Wichita or holed up with some honey in a hotel room.” We all laughed knowing Colton was full of shit. Not once had we seen him pick up a groupie or anyone else. When Jon told him he'd be much better off if he grabbed one of the girls who threw themselves at him, he made it abundantly clear that groupies weren't his thing.

“I know, but this is pretty big.” My focus was broken by the sounds of an acoustic guitar coming from the far corner of the rec room. I'd heard Travis tinker around on the guitar before, but this was totally different. It was beautiful. He was playing Dust in the Wind by Kansas. There was no way he could have known that was one of my mom's favorite songs. “Hang on,” I whispered, not wanting to interrupt. By the time Travis finished the second verse, my vision was blurred by tears and Colton was holding me.

“Good job man, you made Rain cry,” Colton said when Travis finished and looking up.

“Hey little storm cloud, you okay? I didn't think it was that bad.” Travis propped the guitar against the side of the pool table and came over to hug me.

“I just...wow. That was awesome.” Hearing him play like that gave me an idea. “I'll be right back. You guys stay here, okay?”

I ran up the stairs taking two at a time, almost plowing into Matt as I rounded the corner to find my dad. “Hey, sorry, where's Dad?” I prayed he would be okay with my latest idea.

Dad was in his office poring over paperwork looking worried. He shoved the papers into a drawer when he saw that I had barged into the room. “Hey Moo, you okay?”

“Yeah, but I need to ask you a question.” For someone who exerted as much energy on stage as I did every night, I shouldn't be huffing and puffing like a lifelong smoker at the end of a marathon. I rested my hands on my knees to catch my breath.

“You sure you're okay? Just get back from your morning jog or something?” It was nice to see my dad's sense of humor hadn't been completely drowned by sorrow.

“Funny, dad. No, I think I'm just tired and I ran up the stairs to find you.” My breathing back to normal, I came around the desk to hug my dad. There were five years of lost hugs to catch up on and only a couple of days to do it in. “I want all of us to sing at Mom's funeral.”

Dad's expression fell. I knew he was worried about what I had in mind but I knew that if he'd listen to me, it was going to be perfect. “Are you sure? Do you guys sing anything that would be appropriate?”

Any other time, his words would have pissed me off. True, the songs we performed on stage weren't what you would hear at the funeral of a fifty-seven year old woman but that wasn't all we knew how to do. Hell, I was surprised Jon hadn't already found the piano in the living room. He was like a moth to a flame any time there was a piano nearby.

“Yes, believe it or not we all listen to things other than hard rock. As a matter of fact, Jon has over fifteen years of classical piano experience. Tell you what, I'm have to head upstairs for a minute but come to the top of the steps in about twenty minutes. You can wait to make your decision until then. Okay?” I didn't want my dad agreeing us performing as a way to appease me. I wanted him to feel confident that we would do my mom proud.

“Honey, I trust you, it's just--”

I cut him off before he could finish. Emotions were running high and I didn't want anything to spoil the time we had together. “Dad, just come to the top of the stairs. I'll talk to you in a bit.”

No one in the band knew that my mom made me take violin lessons from the time I was six until I was sixteen, when cheerleading took center stage. If there was any way to knock off the dust and sound decent, I was determined that Blessed Tragedy was going to give the performance of a lifetime in honor of Mom.

I barreled down the stairs and set my violin on the floor just outside the basement door. I needed to make sure the guys were on board with my idea before I divulged one of the few secrets I seemed to have left.

“Hey, can you guys come over here?” I sat on the sectional and waited for the guys to join me. Colton sat next to me and I didn't hesitate to lean into him. It was already a tiring day and he was quickly becoming my solace.

“What's up?” Colton asked.

“Okay, so my dad asked me last night if I'll sing at Mom's funeral tomorrow.” I paused to see if there was any visible reaction to this first statement. I wasn't sure why I was so worried about asking them to do the same thing we do every day but there was something so much more intimate about this that it scared me. “You guys were right the other night on the bus. I need you. You're my rocks. I don't want to sing without you.”

Colton kissed my forehead as Jon patted my thigh. It was probably the most affection we'd all shown one another ever but I liked it. In a way, my mom's death was bringing everyone I knew closer together and there was some comfort to be taken from that.

“Travis and his hidden affinity for Kansas gave me an idea.” I looked up at him and smiled. “That was one of my mom's favorite songs, that's why I kind of lost it for a minute. And you were amazing over there. Would you guys be willing to spend part of today working out the arrangement to do it tomorrow?”

I watched as Jon looked to both Travis and Colton before pulling me away from Colton's side. “We'd be honored to. Does your dad know?”

“Well, I asked him about it. He's still worried that you guys can't tone it down enough for a room full of middle-aged mourners so I told him to have a listen down here in a little bit. I think if I sent Travis upstairs right now, he'd be sold. Seriously man, where'd you learn to do that?”

Travis shrugged. He never was one to take compliments well. He was perfectly content to sit in the background and let everyone else take credit for our success. “I taught myself a long time ago. Mom wanted me to play bass in the orchestra, I wanted to play guitar. When I got to high school, the pop band had a guitar sitting in the corner of the room and I'd play during study hall.”