Before I Saw You(68)

‘Alfie! Buddy!’ Darren came towards him, obviously sensing his confusion. ‘Guess what?’

Alfie continued looking around, attempting to piece everything together so that it made some sort of sense. ‘What’s going on?’ he mumbled.

‘We’re signing you off, mate! We’re happy to let you loose on the outside world!’ Darren wrapped him into a firm embrace. Alfie just stood there, frozen.

Sensing the awkwardness, Darren stepped back. ‘OK, so maybe the balloon was a bit over the top.’

‘Hey, no, not at all! It’s great, it’s really great … thanks!’ He forced a smile and gave Darren another slightly more accepting embrace.

His performance clearly went some way to comforting Darren as he sheepishly shrugged his shoulders. ‘Well, it was the least we could do. I know it hasn’t been easy, and with everything else that’s been going on lately …’ Alfie avoided his gaze. ‘I just wanted to give you some good news.’

‘Wait, does this mean no more physio?’ Alfie joked, praying that he wouldn’t be forced back to the ward so soon.

‘Absolutely not, my friend. We have one more proper session and then you’ll see the doctor for a final assessment. And while I have you, I am going to make every single second count, so hurry up and get yourself in there before we change our minds!’

It turned out Darren wasn’t joking. That afternoon Alfie was subjected to one of the most gruelling sessions he’d ever had, and it certainly wasn’t helped by the continual ‘things won’t be this easy on the outside, Alfie’ commentary. Even though life on the ward well and truly sucked right now, the thought of actually being outside and dealing with real life was definitely still more terrifying. Everything felt like it was suddenly happening all at once. A sequence of events crashing into one another so quickly that, by the time he’d tried to stop one from falling, two more had already been knocked down.

He had been signed off.

He had reached the final step to getting out of here.

He couldn’t believe it.

He would be going home soon.

Are you really going to leave things like this with her?

He couldn’t think about that right now. There were too many factors involved. Firstly, he was still so goddam angry with her, and secondly, it was hard to concentrate on anything when Darren was going all boot camp on him. But no matter how much Darren shouted at him, or how hard Alfie tried to ignore it, the question refused to leave his thoughts.

By the time he got back to the ward, he was exhausted. The moment he set eyes on his bed, relief surged through him. At last! Rest! But just as he was about to throw himself down, a piece of paper on his bedside table caught his eye. That had definitely not been there when he left for physio earlier this afternoon. Intrigued, he reached across to see what it was.

It was an A4 piece of paper that had been folded in half. On the outside someone had simply written his name and nothing more. As he opened it, he saw that he was looking at a hand-drawn crossword puzzle.

He allowed his heart to leap just the tiniest amount before quickly analysing the clues.

Across

1. Organ of the body you use for sight (3)

2. Abbreviation used to describe a time in the morning (2)

3. Present, current state (5)

4. Disastrous, awful (8)

Down

1. First letter of the alphabet (1)

2. Square root of 16 (4)

3. Common name for Homo sapiens (5)

4. Apology (5)



The more clues he answered, the harder his heart started to beat. When he finished, he looked at the words and couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Rearranging them a little, the sentence was revealed to him:

Eye Am Sorry Four Being A Terrible Human.





51


Alice





She knew it had worked when she heard his laugh burst through the silence. She couldn’t stop the smile curling the corners of her mouth with relief.

‘I am so sorry.’

‘It’s OK.’

She took a deep breath. Now was the time to tell him; it had to be now. ‘I meant what I said about being a better person. They’ve scheduled my operation for the end of next week. It’s actually happening, Alfie.’

Silence.

Not quite the reaction she was expecting.

‘Alfie? I thought you’d be pleased for me.’

‘I’m sorry, I am, it’s been a long day. In fact, it’s been a long few days. I guess I’m just tired.’

‘You don’t exactly sound thrilled about the idea.’

‘Well, I think it’s a big thing to put yourself through. I’m not trying to be negative. I just want you to really know what you’re getting yourself into with this.’

‘Of course I understand what I’m getting myself into,’ she snapped.

‘Do you? You seem to have made the decision pretty quickly. I guess … I guess I don’t understand why you’d voluntarily open yourself up to those risks again.’

‘No, Alfie, it’s you who doesn’t seem to understand, and you know what? I guess you wouldn’t unless you knew what I was stuck with.’ Her voice was razor sharp. Why didn’t he get it?

‘OK.’

‘OK? That’s all you’re going to say?’ Her voice was getting louder but she didn’t care. He was being an arsehole about this whole thing, and she needed him to realize how unfair he was being.