Weekend Surrender (The Surrender Trilogy, #1)(20)
“What? You? No way!” Rachel feigned a shocked gasp and lifted their clenched hands to her chest while Rogan laughed.
“Okay, so I’m a Dominant. It’s not something I do intentionally. It’s just part of my makeup. But as I was saying, having the need to be in control went completely against the idea of a ménage. It’s not like my three brothers are going to stand back and wait for me to direct all of the action, so I wasn’t sure I could make it work.”
“What changed your mind?”
“My dad withered away and died because of a broken heart after mama died. I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would have been like for her if she had been alive when he died and suddenly found herself alone. A ménage relationship protects our woman from being completely alone. If something tragic were to happen to one of us, there would be three of us left behind to help console her and make sure she was still loved and protected.
Rachel was silent while she listened to Parker’s reasoning. She was stunned at the depth of emotion she could hear in his voice. He was serious. He wanted a ménage relationship so his woman would always be cared for. It was deeply touching, and it made her heart warm. He might be a bossy prick on occasion, but there was more under the surface yet to be explored.
Rogan spoke up before Rachel could voice her opinion, “For me it stems from the fact I love and respect my brothers, and we all seem to have the same taste in women. I don’t see any reason for limitations on love, and I believe people can love more than one person at a time. I figure if we find the one woman, with a big enough heart, and a strong enough spine to tolerate all four of us, then we should tie her to the bed and never let her go.”
A laugh broke free from her throat, and she reached her other hand up to cup Rogan’s cheek. “I’m not sure that’s the best way to propose it to a woman, but good luck.”
“Why does ménage intimidate you, but my dominance doesn’t, Rachel?” Parker’s question was a valid one, and she took a minute to think about it.
“There are moments when you can be over-the-top bossy, but usually your demands, or requests if you want to call them, are to my benefit. I can’t say I’m perfectly submissive, but I’m happy to let a man lead in the bedroom. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not exactly into pain, so I don’t know if I could ever be a legitimate sub and get my ass beat,” she said trying to sound serious, but smiling anyway.
“Okay, so you don’t want a twenty-four seven relationship with a Dom, but that doesn’t tell us why ménage scares you so much,” Rogan responded.
“Ménage doesn’t scare me, I guess…it’s the relationship part that scares me.” When they were both silent at her admission, she grew nervous. “I just haven’t had any luck with committed relationships. You saw what Mitch did to me, and he's not the first guy that’s cheated on me. In fact, I haven’t had a single relationship with a man where I didn’t get hurt. My own father took off when I was just eight years old after he fell in love with his office assistant, and I watched my mom attempt to date over and over through the years only to get hurt in some way every time. You have to understand I just don’t want to get hurt again.”
“So you’re going to avoid relationships forever?” Rogan asked, and Rachel frowned up at his darkened profile.
“No I guess not. I don’t know. Right now, I just don’t know what I want.”
Silence reigned after that, and Rachel found she was completely comfortable just lying there holding their hands in the quiet of the night. It was an oddly cathartic experience. Neither man judged her for her opinions, or for the fact that Mitch had cheated on her. They didn’t push her to make decisions she wasn’t ready to make, or question her about things she wasn’t ready to talk about. They just listened and absorbed it all.
****
It wasn’t long before the weight of sleep swallowed her, and Parker lay staring down at her while she slept. His hand was still laced with hers and resting on her rib cage where he could feel the even keel of her breathing, and the thud of her heart. A heart that had been damaged, yet longing for love.
He knew his brothers shared his attraction and fascination with Rachel, but until this moment, he had never expected to find himself falling in love with her too. He admired her spunk and her determination. She fought for what she wanted, yet knew when the right time to back down was as well.
This little five foot tall wildcat had managed to rope his heart with her easy acceptance of who he was and what he wanted out of a woman. She hadn’t yet accepted she was theirs, lock stock and barrel, but she would.
Chapter Eight
Sawyer was in the kitchen frying bacon when Rachel emerged from Rogan’s bedroom the next morning. He had spent most of the night wishing it was him in her bed and not his brothers. It was ridiculous to be so smitten with a woman who resisted a commitment, but it was his reality right now.
She nearly brought him to his knees when she stepped into the kitchen, freshly showered and dressed in a pair of well-worn blue jeans, a t-shirt advertising the local rodeo, and bare feet. Even her toes were sexy, how was that even possible?
“Morning, Sawyer. Mmm…something smells good in here,” she spoke from across the room, and her body language gave her away. Her nerves were back and she was worried about what they would think of her in the morning light.