The Dilemma(53)

Livia’s breath catches. ‘Fine, I think.’

‘So, a bridge mended,’ Ian says, nodding.

‘It’s early days.’ Livia turns to me. ‘Come on, let me have a proper look at your hand.’

I follow her over to the wall. We sit side by side and she takes my hand in hers. If there weren’t so many people in the way, we’d be able to see the photos of Marnie.

The gentle touch of her fingers and the sharp physical pain as she probes the wound makes everything recede until there’s no Marnie, no people, no noise, no party, just me and Livia.

‘It should be alright,’ she says, inspecting the napkin for a clean bit, then pressing it onto the cut and closing my hand over it to keep it in place. ‘You’ll need to disinfect it, though.’ She reaches up and places her hand on my cheek. ‘You OK?’

‘I forgot to shave, sorry.’

‘Don’t be sorry, I like you exactly as you are.’

‘What about you, are you alright? With your mother turning up?’

She nods slowly. ‘She said that you wrote to her.’

‘I thought I was doing the right thing – but now I don’t know.’

‘You did do the right thing. Thank you.’ She reaches up and kisses me.

‘Your father?’

‘I’m glad he’s dead,’ she says fiercely. ‘I know I shouldn’t say that but I am. If he’d still been alive, Mum wouldn’t have been able to come tonight. She told me something of what her life was like with him. I didn’t realise how much she was under his control. I was too young to notice, I suppose. I thought she was happy that he was the one who made all the decisions, but it seems she didn’t have a choice.’

‘I’m glad you’re pleased she turned up. But you will be careful, won’t you?’

‘Don’t worry, I’m not going to fall into her arms or anything. We need to take it step by step. But she’d like to meet Josh before he leaves tomorrow evening.’ She turns to me. ‘She’s staying with the Graingers. Do you remember them? It was Irene who brought her over tonight. Mum told me she nearly didn’t come, that she lost her courage, but Irene persuaded her to, told her she’d regret it. She was waiting outside in the car, which is why Mum couldn’t stay longer. Would you mind if she came over tomorrow afternoon, just for an hour?’

‘Of course not,’ I say. I try to hold an image in my mind, of Livia’s mum sitting on the sofa tomorrow afternoon with Josh and Marnie either side of her. I need so much to believe it will happen.

‘So, are you happy?’ I go on, needing her to say it, because if she’s happy, I can live with the decision I made not to say anything about Marnie.

‘Ridiculously happy,’ she says, smiling up at me, her eyes bright with unshed tears. She lifts her hand and rests it against my cheek. ‘This is a new beginning for me, Adam. Thank you for making it happen.’

Her words cut through me like a knife.

‘Are you two lovebirds going to sit there all night?’ a voice calls. ‘Aren’t you meant to be socialising? Adam, your mum’s brought your food over, come back here!’

Livia tenses at Rob’s clumsy interruption.

‘Come on, we’d better get back to the party.’

I nod. ‘You go and sit with Jess and the others while I sort out my hand.’

‘No!’ She says it so forcefully that I flinch. She gives me a weak smile. ‘I’d better go and chat with the neighbours.’

She starts moving away but I catch hold of her and draw her towards me.

‘Is tonight everything you wanted it to be?’

‘It’s more than I wanted it to be, if that’s possible,’ she says, wrapping her arms round me and leaning her head against my chest. ‘Except for Marnie.’

A strange weakness comes over me and if Livia hadn’t been holding me, my legs might have given way. Adrenalin kicks back in.

‘I know it might not seem like it,’ she says. ‘But sometimes things happen for a reason.’

Is that what Josh not going to New York is – a reason? A reason for us to be able to carry on without Marnie, because we’ll have Josh close by, instead of on another continent?

‘Like Mum turning up,’ Livia goes on. ‘I know she felt able to come because Dad died, but why did he die now, why not years ago when she could have got to know Josh and Marnie? There must be a reason why she’s turned up now, at this moment in time, when it’s almost too late to have a relationship with them.’ She pauses. ‘She wants to move back to the area, by the way.’

Did Fate have a hand in her mum turning up tonight? I’m not giving up on Marnie, I could never do that. But there’s a small comfort in the thought that if the very worst has happened – if Marnie doesn’t make it home – Livia will have her mother nearby.





Livia


‘Great party, Livia,’ Nelson says, smiling at me through his bushy beard. His eyes search my face. ‘It must have been weird with your mother turning up.’

‘It was, especially as I didn’t recognise her at first. But I’m glad she did. It all came from my father, you know, and she had no choice but to go along with it. It’s awful to say, but his death has liberated her. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but her turning up has been the icing on the cake of this lovely, lovely evening.’ And then I remember. ‘Congratulations, by the way. It’s wonderful news!’