The Dilemma(47)

‘Hello Paula,’ I say, giving her a hug. ‘It’s lovely to see you. Are you having a good time?’

‘Yes, it’s so nice to be able to catch up with everybody from the office. I’ve missed them.’

‘So, how are you?’ I say, prepared to give her my full attention because I know how lonely she is now that she’s retired and has no close family nearby.

While she talks about the book club she’s recently become a member of, I keep my eye out for Rob. At one point I see him heading my way but when he sees I’m with Paula he turns back quickly. She’s joined us a couple of times for lunch at the weekends, so he’s met her before and knows how much she loves to talk. He couldn’t possibly have anyone talk more than him, could he?

From the lawn I hear Josh announce that the next song is someone’s song choice and that we have to guess whose it is.

‘I know this one,’ Paula says, as it begins to play. ‘It’s “We Are Family”.’

She takes my hand and pulls me to where a group of people are dancing.

‘It has to be Kirin,’ I say. ‘Look at the way she’s grinning.’ I point at Kirin. ‘It’s Kirin!’ I shout.

Josh gives me the thumbs up and people clap and laugh as Nelson races across the lawn, dodging around people, to scoop Kirin into his arms.

‘We are family,’ he sings. ‘I got all my daughters with me!’

‘I wish I had my sons with me,’ Paula says sadly. ‘I hate that they’re living so far away.’

Before I can reply Jeannie comes over wanting, I’m guessing, to talk about Nelson and Kirin having another set of twins.

‘Five children!’ she says, laughing, and I can see Adam so clearly in her face when she smiles. ‘He’s going to have to swap that great big motorbike of his for a people carrier.’

‘I think he’d rather sell the house than his motorbike,’ I joke.

‘He’ll probably have to sell it anyway. Kirin was saying she doesn’t know where she’ll put another two babies – to which Nelson replied that there’s a perfectly good shed in the garden!’

Somebody comes onto the terrace and I crane my neck around Jeannie, expecting to see Adam. But it’s Amy and my delight at seeing her – because I know how happy Josh will be that she’s here – is short-lived when I see the look on her face. Something has obviously upset her and I hope it’s not to do with her grandfather.

I’m about to go over to her when she runs up the steps and tiptoes towards Josh. She puts her hands over his eyes, her frown replaced by a smile and I laugh at Josh’s surprise. But then she says something and they both look towards the kitchen, where Adam is standing in the doorway. He must have let Amy in, I realise.

I excuse myself to Jeannie and Paula, intending to go to him. But Nelson beats me to it so I make my way over to Josh and Amy instead.

‘Hello, Amy,’ I say, aware that Max has moved away. ‘It’s lovely to see you. I didn’t think you were able to come.’

‘Happy birthday!’ she says, hugging me. ‘My mum told my grandfather about your party and he insisted I came. He said that at his age it didn’t matter if we didn’t celebrate his birthday on the day so we’re having his party tomorrow afternoon instead.’

‘That’s lovely of him. Well, I’m very glad you’re here.’

‘I’m not sure Mr Harman is,’ she says, the frown returning to her pretty face.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Just that he didn’t seem very happy to see me.’

Josh turns to me. ‘You didn’t tell him, did you, Mum?’

‘No, of course not.’

‘Well, he must have found out somehow. There’s no reason for him to have been off with Amy otherwise.’

‘Why don’t you go and speak to him?’

‘What, now?’

‘No time like the present,’ I say lightly.

‘He’s going to be so disappointed,’ Josh mutters.

‘He’ll understand.’

‘I’m not so sure.’

‘You won’t know until you talk to him.’

‘Go on,’ Amy says, giving him a little push. ‘You may as well get it over and done with.’

He goes off reluctantly and feeling eyes on me, I realise that Max wants to speak to Amy and is waiting for me to leave.

‘I better go and circulate,’ I say, giving Amy a quick smile. ‘I’ll see you later.’

I turn away and see Rob only yards from me. I want to run, but like a rabbit caught in the glare of a car’s headlights, I don’t seem to be able to move. And then Max, coming over to talk to Amy, walks clumsily into Rob with his rugby-player build, and knocks him momentarily off balance.

‘You drunk already?’ I hear him say good-naturedly to Max, because that’s Rob, everyone’s best friend. I don’t stay around to hear the rest of their conversation but duck into the empty marquee, needing a few minutes on my own.

I press my palms to my face, feeling the heat in my cheeks. I must have been mad to think I was going to be able to avoid Rob this evening. At some point we’re going to come face to face. He’s not going to stop seeking me out because he won’t know why he shouldn’t. What I should have done, I realise with hindsight, was email him yesterday and tell him not to come tonight, to pretend he was ill so that Jess could still come, because I know about him and Marnie.