Royally Not Ready(125)

KELLER





On a deep breath, I walk into Theo’s office chambers and shut the door behind me.

This morning, I received a text from Henrik stating that Theo wanted to see me in his office at seven in the morning, no later. I didn’t have to read into the text to know what it was about.

I was in fucking trouble, because not only did I let down Lilly, but I also let him down yesterday.

I’m still struggling with the conversation we had last night. It was . . . it was eye-opening. Everything she said was right, but she forgot to mention that I was a coward. Sure, I was taking care of security and ensuring everything was in check, but I also avoided Lilly. I knew it was going to hurt her, that she was going to be devastated that I wasn’t there, but I stayed away, for my selfish reasons, and the entire night, that’s all I thought about—how I fucked up—and I’m not sure there’s any way I can make it up to her.

But I plan on doing that.

First thing’s first, apologizing to Theo.

“Take a seat,” Theo says as he points to a chair across from him.

The room is deathly silent as I move across the dark blue Persian rug and take a seat in an upholstered chair that I’ve sat in many times before, but never under these tense circumstances.

“Care to explain where you were yesterday?”

I shift in my chair and grip the armrests. “I was ahead of the parade, ensuring all security was in place.”

“Isn’t that why we have Ottar? He’s the second-in-command to security, is he not?”

“He is,” I answer.

“Was he not doing his job?”

“No, he was.”

“I see, and what were you supposed to be doing?”

Fuck. My mouth goes dry as I attempt to answer his fast, hard-hitting questions.

“I was supposed to be with Lilly, assisting her through the parade.”

“I see.” He nods. “And you didn’t perform that duty.”

“I did not,” I answer.

“Any reason behind that other than your own selfish decision and disobedience?”

I wet my lips and shake my head. “No, sir.”

“I appreciate your honesty, but unfortunately, we’ll have to suspend you from your duties.”

My stomach crashes to the ground as I sit taller. “Suspend me?” I ask. “Wh-what do you mean?”

“I mean, we’ll be reviewing your decision and assessing whether or not it’s grounds for termination. Until then, you are not to step foot inside the palace. You’re only allowed in the servants’ quarters and will not be privy to any private intel.”

“But, Theo, sir, what about Lilly?”

“She seemed to carry on perfectly fine yesterday without you, despite the obvious heartbreak she was suffering through that only Katla, Lara, and I were aware of.”

That stings more than you know.

I’m proud of her for being able to fulfill her duties without help, but it doesn’t feel good not to be needed, especially given the line of work I’m in.

“But . . . I was trying to help with Brimar and—”

“I’m grateful for the work you did in the early morning, taking care of Brimar and cutting the story before it could ruin the day for us, but that was all that was needed at that moment. Ottar had security under control. You should have been with Lilija, which was most important at the time. You lost sight of your duties.”

“I was trying to help,” I say, hanging my head.

“You were trying to avoid her. Your personal life encroached on your responsibilities and that’s the last thing I expected from you.”

He’s right.

“I’m sorry, Theo. I let you down.”

“You let Lilija down.”

And that is probably the most painful realization out of all of this.

I don’t know what to say, so I just nod.

“Ottar will escort you back to your room and take away your security passes until further notice.”

“I understand,” I say as I go to stand.

“Have you been dismissed?” Theo asks in his commanding voice that I’ve only heard a few times in my life. Theo’s usually a jolly man with a smile that stretches to his ears, so you don’t see this side of him very often.

“No, sir.” I sit back down.

“Now, on a personal note . . .” He pauses and leans slightly forward in his chair. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

Color me shocked because I’m not sure I’ve ever heard Theo speak like that before.

“You told me you loved Lilija. Was that a lie?”

“No.” I swallow hard, sweat forming on my lower back. “That wasn’t a lie; that was God’s honest truth.”

“I see, and what does love mean to you, Keller? Is it something to be toyed with? Something to be tossed around without a care?”

“No, sir.”

“Or is it to be cherished, protected, and nurtured with the utmost care?”

“Protected.”

“So, why the hell have you been freaking out since you arrived at Strombly with her? I see how she looks at you, and how you can make her happy or break her heart. She’s infatuated with you, and yet, you’re acting like a fool. Tell me, where did you learn this type of behavior? It surely wasn’t from your parents, who had a beautiful, loving relationship, and it wasn’t from Katla or me, who pride ourselves on the devoted bond we have with each other. So, where is this coming from?”