Royally Not Ready(122)
I was born a protector; it’s in my blood. When a woman puts her trust in my hands, I’ll never break that trust. I’ll hold it close to me and cherish it.
He lied.
His love, if I can believe it was love, was fleeting. A show. Something I could hang on to while I navigated through this new turn in my life. He fooled me about The Informative, so it makes sense he could fool me about loving me too.
Droplets of sorrow find their way down my cheeks, and I pick up my napkin to dab at them.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m still learning how to control my emotions.”
“No need to apologize,” Katla says, coming to my side and pulling me into a hug. “It’s been a busy, overwhelming day, and you had expectations of who would be there.”
I nod. “I know it sounds stupid, but I wanted to make him proud, you know? We worked so hard to get me ready for this, and his absence hurts.”
Katla rubs my back gently. “I understand completely, Lilija.”
Theo clears his throat, and when I glance in his direction, I see the tension in his neck, the grip of his fist, and the anger in his eyes. And I want to tell Theo not to get mad at Keller, that it’s no big deal, but why would I? Why am I going to protect him?
What he did today was not okay.
And I’m not going to make excuses for him.
After another hug from Katla, I stand and take a deep breath. “I’m going to lie down. I hope that’s okay.”
“Completely fine, dear,” Katla says. “We have a ladies’ luncheon tomorrow in the courtyard, but that’s the only thing I believe. We wanted to keep the schedule light for the first few weeks, leading up to Torg. Getting your feet wet seemed better than making a splash.”
“I truly appreciate that,” I say.
“And you . . . you like it here, right?” Katla asks, insecurity in her eyes. I can see how scared she is to lose another one of her children, so I press my hand to hers.
“I do. It truly feels right here, and I have no plans to go anywhere, despite what might be happening in my personal life.” I offer them a small smile and a goodnight and then take off toward my room.
“Miss Campbell, do you have everything you need?” Runa asks when she enters the bathroom.
I’m already in a pair of navy blue silk pajamas, my hair’s braided, and my teeth brushed. I couldn’t get out of my dress and heels quick enough. Or wipe the makeup from my face. I realize this is something I will have to get used to—makeup, dresses, and heels. It’s a far cry from my bikini and sandals.
I place my toothbrush in its holder and turn toward her. “I need your help.”
“Yes, of course, how can I be of assistance?”
“I need you to take me to Keller’s room in the servants’ quarters.”
She frowns. “Oh, that’s something I can’t do.”
“Runa, please,” I say, pleading with her. “He’s not answering my texts or my calls, and if I don’t at least speak to him tonight, then I won’t be able to get any sleep. Please help me.”
“Miss Campbell, the servants’ quarters are not a place where the princess of Torskethorpe goes. It would be against all our rules of privacy.”
Saddened, I turn back to the mirror, staring at my reflection, another tear cascading down my cheek. They’ve been intermittent at this point. Not sure they’re going to stop. “I understand. I’m sorry I asked.”
I wipe at my face and then move past her and into the bedroom, where I slip under the turned-down sheets of my plush bed.
Runa stands by my bed, staring at me, her hands in front of her, not showing an ounce of emotion.
“I think I’m good, Runa, if you want to retire for the night.”
But she doesn’t move. Instead, she takes a step closer to my bed and whispers, “There’s a secret passageway to the servants’ quarters that lead straight to Keller’s room, which is the first one on the right.”
I perk up. “Really? Where is it?”
“Just outside your room behind the picture frame of Strombly Castle. Follow the tunnel down through a series of doors, and keep going straight until you reach the last one, which will bring you to the quarters. First door on the right. I shall pick some clothes for you, so you aren’t recognized immediately.”
She goes to my closet and pulls out a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. “Here.” She passes them to me. “The guards change in about five minutes, and if you hurry, you’ll be able to sneak past them. I shall wait by the picture frame for you to knock on it when you return, and I’ll distract the guards so you can sneak in. I shall do this once and only once.”
“Thank you, Runa,” I say as I quickly put on the sweatpants and hoodie. Runa fashions the hood over my head and pulls on the drawstrings. She offers me some shoes and heads to the door. She looks at her watch and my pulse picks up as we wait.
“And . . . now,” she says quietly as she opens the door.
Together, we move down the hall to where there’s a giant picture frame. She opens it, the picture hinging like a door, and I climb into the barely lit tunnel.
“Hurry now,” she says before shutting the picture.
The tunnel darkens even more, which is frightening given I don’t know where I’m going, but determined, I walk forward and reach the first door. I open it and walk through, the tunnel lighting up with sporadic sconces on the wall. I quicken my pace, going through doorway after doorway until I reach the last one, which brings me into a cream hallway with carpeting, resembling a dormitory.