Royally Not Ready(121)

Looking me in the eyes, Lara grips my shoulder and says, “You can and you will. Do you hear me? You’ve trained for this, and the people out there want to shower you with love. This is nothing to be scared of, and I’ll be right there with you, walking alongside your carriage, close enough that if you need anything—and I mean anything—I’ll get it for you. But you won’t need anything, because you’re ready for this. You’re capable, and you’re going to forget about Keller for this moment and relish in this new journey. Do you hear me?”

I nod, my lip quivering, my eyes watering.

“Someone hand me a tissue,” Lara calls out, and out of nowhere, one appears. She reaches up and dots the corners of my eyes. “I’m so proud of you, Lilly, and everything you’ve done to get to this point. Don’t let your worry over Keller ruin it. Okay?”

I nod. “O-okay.”

“Now, deep breaths.”

I take a few and then she smiles at me.

“Are you ready?”

“I think so.”

“Good.”

When I turn to Henrik, he offers me a soft smile. “Good to go?”

“Yes,” I answer.

“Then, right this way.” He gestures toward the gold carriage with two white horses leading the way. It feels like a fairy tale you see at the end of a movie, riding off into the sunset, only with this fairy tale, the prince is nowhere to be found.





“You good?” Lara asks over the bustling, screaming crowd that is taking any chance they can get to wave, say hi, or capture pictures of me as we parade around town.

“Good,” I answer even though my arm is tired, my face hurts from smiling, and my heart feels weak, like a piece of it broke off this morning.

This should be a joyful moment for me, with all the people of Torskethorpe so happy to see me, so proud, but it’s not. Keller’s absence overshadows it.

And he promised . . .

He promised he wouldn’t leave me. Guess I was completely wrong about that.





“You must be exhausted,” Theo says as he sets his fork down on his plate.

After a long parade of riding down the streets of the capital, I was given a tour of the statehouse and introduced to all the significant dignitaries in Torskethorpe, of which there were five since the country is so tiny. And then we went on a tour of some local businesses where I met quite a few people who offered me several gifts. Homemade flower crowns, jams, scarves, carved cods, and some doilies for my bedroom. I graciously accepted every single gift, talked about the process of making the gifts, even threw in some technical terms I learned during my training, and shook many hands while pictures were snapped of me left and right.

Not a single negative comment.

Not a single boo.

Just warm love, welcoming me to the island.

But the warm welcoming didn’t negate the fact that I was a nervous wreck, that I tripped over my words a lot of the time, and when I looked for assistance on a term, Keller wasn’t there to help me.

Despite feeling abandoned in a moment of need, once we returned to the palace for dinner, I knew I had made the right decision by coming here because I found a family. I found people who embrace me. I feel like I’ve found a purpose. A place where I can hopefully make a difference. Be more. But hell was the day exhausting.

“I am,” I say with a yawn. “But good exhaustion. Today was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.”

“You were wonderful,” Katla says. “Truly, I don’t think I could be prouder.”

“Same,” Theo says. “You were so eloquent and regal. You made a few blunders here and there, but that was to be expected, and overall, you made a positive first impression.”

“I hope so.” I fold my hands on my lap, a question burning inside me that I can’t hold back anymore. “Do you know where Keller was today?”

Theo glances at his plate while he grips the table’s edge. “I’m not sure,” he says, his voice full of disappointment.

“Oh . . . wasn’t sure if he had a task or not?”

“He did,” Theo says, now looking me in the eyes. “His task was to be at your side, to help you navigate the day.”

A bout of ice spreads through my veins.

So he was supposed to be here.

He was supposed to stick by me.

With everything that happened last night, I convinced myself during the parade that he wasn’t there because he was cleaning up the mess Brimar left behind, but that wasn’t the case. He was just neglecting me.

“Oh, I see,” I say as I rest my napkin on the table, indicating I’m finished with my meal. “Well, I’m quite tired. Do you mind if I excuse myself and go to bed?”

Katla and Theo exchange looks, and then gently, Katla says, “Maybe you should talk about what’s on your mind.”

God, don’t you hate when people say that? Because I’m on an emotional ledge right now and one little comment about feelings could tip me over the edge, just like this has.

Tears begin to blind my eyes and choke my throat. A sickening feeling takes over.

He doesn’t want you.

He’s done his job of grooming me—fucking me—but doesn’t want to be by my side. My King is only in the bedroom.