Out of Breath (Breathing, #3)(32)

The sheet was draped across his waist, allowing a full view of the contours of this broad chest as he rolled on his side to face me. I opted to lie on my back and stare at the ceiling, so I could form sentences while we spoke. I was afraid I’d lose my nerve if I was looking at him.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, and then whispered, ‘Or we don’t have to talk.’

I knew he was waiting for me to begin the conversation. After all, I was the one who’d knocked on his door.

‘Sorry,’ I muttered. ‘I’m confused.’

‘Confused?’

‘Cole, I don’t want you to like me,’ I confessed in a single breath.

He didn’t respond. I suddenly felt very vulnerable. Turning towards him, I saw that he was waiting for me to explain. The intensity flickering in his eyes forced me to look away.

‘I’m … I’m afraid,’ I breathed, clenching my jaw at the honesty I’d just expelled.

‘That I’ll hurt you?’ he asked, his voice low and soothing.

‘That I’ll hurt you,’ I responded. ‘I’m f*cked up. I’m so f*cked up. I can’t … I can’t date you. I can’t let you in. I can’t get close. And –’

‘Emma,’ he interrupted. ‘It’s okay.’

I shifted on my side, feeling the need to see his face as my body trembled.

‘You don’t understand,’ I continued desperately, clutching my arms against my chest. ‘I shouldn’t be here. It’s taking everything I have not to walk out that door. That’s all I’ve thought about since we’ve met, that I need to leave you alone. Because that’s … that’s what I should do.’ I tensed against the tightening pain in my chest. ‘I’m a horrible person.’

‘I doubt that,’ he whispered in return. ‘But if you need to walk away, then go ahead. Emma, I’m not asking for anything. I like what this is. There’re no expectations. So, if you can … just for this week, I’d like it if you didn’t walk away.’

I wanted to touch him. To run my hand along his strong, square jaw. To nuzzle my face into his neck and become intoxicated by his scent. To allow him to wrap his arms around me so my skin could come alive with the buzz that his touch incited. But I didn’t. I remained contained and rigid on my side, unable to look away from him.

‘What do you think? Will you stay, Emma?’ he whispered, reaching over and running the back of his hand along my cheek so gently. I closed my eyes, and my entire body shivered.

‘I’ll stay,’ I responded, barely audible. I lay beside him, absorbing the energy between us.





10


Predictable


I KNEW I SHOULD OPEN MY EYES. I COULD feel the light shining in from the other side of my eyelids. But I was so comfortable under the warmth of the blanket, in my restful place, with him next to me, waiting. I squinted at him, lying across from me. He didn’t say anything. He just lay there watching me with a hint of a smile.

His skin was luminous with the light peering in through the large glass door behind him, the ever-present subtle flush of colour across his prominent cheekbones. I wanted to press the palm of my hand against the ruddiness, expecting to feel heat – but I resisted.

I was still on top of the comforter, but I’d been covered with the blue blanket from the couch. And he was still under the blankets, without a shirt on.

‘Can I ask you one thing?’ His minty breath floated to my nose. I shook my head, clamping my mouth shut. ‘You need to brush your teeth first?’ I nodded. He laughed. ‘Bathroom is right there.’

I considered getting my toothbrush from my bag in the living room, but after a moment of deliberation I opted to stay in his room. I used my finger to brush my teeth, then returned to the bed, nestling under the blanket. Cole continued to wait patiently.

‘Go ahead,’ I encouraged, resting my head on the pillow.

‘Why did you stand me up that night?’

I paused a moment. It seemed so long ago. ‘I got a tattoo.’ It was as close to the truth as I could get.

‘And it couldn’t have waited until the next day?’

‘No.’

He focused on my eyes, reading me, and nodded in acceptance.

‘Can I see it?’

I slid my shirt up to reveal the image along my side.

Cole studied it intently. His fingers traced the crescent, over the resting eyes and along the peaceful masculine profile. His touch left a tingling trail. My breath quivered.

‘What does it mean?’

‘There was a time I needed to be reminded,’ I explained.

‘It looks like it must’ve hurt,’ he said without taking his eyes off it, trying to decipher the script that ran along its edges.

‘Not enough,’ I murmured breathily.

‘You say the strangest things.’ He said it almost admiringly, resting his hand on my bare skin.

I shrugged shyly.

‘Will you do something predictable with me today?’ The heat from his hand coursed under my skin. My body hummed. Anything. But I knew the real answer to his question.

‘Yes, I’ll go surfing with you.’

He laughed, sitting up in the bed, taking the electric charge with him when he removed his hand from my waist – leaving me dark and empty once again.