Effortless (Thoughtless, #2)(70)

Anna slung her arm over my shoulder as Jenny and Rachel got out of Evan’s car, laughing over some story they’d been telling on the ride over.

Smiling at my friends and family, I perked back up. Almost our own quartet, the D-Bag-ettes, we strolled through the double doors. Nearly expecting the reaction Kellan and the guys got when they busted through the doors, I was a little disappointed when not one person in the lunch crowd looked our way.

Troy, back to his normal daytime hours at the bar, waved at us. His face was forlorn, like he missed Kellan too. I almost wanted to go over and hug him, talk to him about the man we both mutually crushed on, but considering that I had Kellan’s heart and poor Troy never would…I thought that might be mean. Best to leave the man alone to his grief.

Jenny waved at the elderly waitresses that had been here since the bar’s conception, or so it seemed, as the group of us headed to the darkened stage. The black wall covered in guitars behind the equipment we were tearing down seemed a bit morose today, or maybe that was just my lingering mood. Stepping up onto the worn-with-use oak, I walked up to Kellan’s mic, alone in the center. Running my hand up the shaft, I imagined Kellan’s fingers doing the same.

Twisting to face the crowd largely ignoring us, I tried to picture what he felt standing up here. Looking out over the now empty dance floor, I tried to imagine it packed with people, as it normally was when the boys played. Just the thought made my stomach twist. I didn’t get how he 195



could do this. And now he’d be playing even bigger venues…it boggled my mind.

Gripping the mic at the top of the stand, the sound equipment set way too tall for me, I mentally photographed my rock star boyfriend.

“You wanna sing something, before we tear it down?” I looked over at Jenny. She was watching me as she twisted some of Evan’s drum sticks in her hands. Smiling as she walked over to sit behind Evan’s drums, she pointed to Kellan’s microphone. “We could play one of theirs.” She laughed a little. “We could be their cover band.” I paled at the idea, but Anna thought it was a great plan, and immediately strung Griffin’s bass guitar over her shoulder. Chuckling softly, Rachel picked Matt’s guitar off its stand and looped it over her shoulder.

Then they all looked expectantly at me, like I was actually the leader of this fake band.

I shook my head, but Jenny started clicking off a beat with her sticks.





Then they all started playing. I was so busy laughing, I couldn’t be embarrassed. There was one thing that even a cover band needed to know how to do, to be successful—they needed to know how to play, and none of us did. As Jenny made random hits on various drums, Anna plucked whatever chord struck her fancy on her unplugged instrument. Rachel strummed hers like she held a ukulele. I heartily laughed.

A few eating patrons glanced up at us, but since nothing was powered up, and Jenny was smacking the set as softly as she could, we really weren’t making that much noise. They all went back to their meals and conversations. Still curious about being a rock star, about what that would feel like, I closed my eyes and started singing one of Kellan’s songs. Well, singing was a stretch. I was murmuring, my voice nearly lost in the chaos around me.

At hearing my band mates giggle, I opened my eyes. They were all smiling at me, rocking out harder on their borrowed instruments. Grinning, courage building in me the longer I was up here, I unfastened the mic from the stand and raised my voice…a little.

196



Mimicking the moves I’d seen Kellan do a thousand times, I started to pretend that I was him. My eyes swung over the empty patch where the crowds would have been, and I pictured them there, cheering for me. I even pictured Kellan among them, grinning crookedly and shaking his head at me. I focused my attention on the mental image I had of him, trying to be sexy for him, since he so often was for me.

My imagined version of Kellan smiled wider and bit his lip. I heard whistled encouragement from behind me and the picture of him in my head vanished. I giggled over at Anna, nodding at me as she faked her way through playing a D-Bag classic. My cheeks heating, I switched my view to Rachel, merrily strumming away like we were doing a skit at summer camp. Jenny behind me started playing her version of a disorganized solo and I giggled mid-sentence at the musical mess we were making.

When the song was over, I made a small bow, the girls joining me.

From across the bar I heard a small splattering of applause. Looking up, Troy was clapping, beaming at us. I laughed, embarrassment flooding me, but held back from completely absorbing me by a flash of pride. I’d done it. I’d sung on stage. Granted, I wasn’t plugged in and no one but Troy had really been listening, but still, I felt like I could cross it off my bucket list now.

Kellan would be so proud. I couldn’t wait to tell him.

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11





Chapter


Gone But Not Forgotten


After our jam session, the girls and I finally got everything squished into Griffin’s van. I sighed when we all looked at the empty stage before us. It was dark and lonely now, as its owners traveled farther and farther away. I wasn’t even sure where they were right now. Matt had given us all a tour schedule and their first show was tonight in Spokane, on the very east side of Eastern Washington. I figured that they were probably close to heading up the mountain passes by now. The same passes that Denny and I had traveled on the way over here. The same mountains that had brought me to the place where one love had eventually super-seded another, was now taking that love away.