Down Too Deep (Dirty Deeds, #4)(98)

She looked uncomfortable giving the answer. It was more uncomfortable to hear. I didn’t want Nathan not to be okay. I would never want that. But he was okay. He was okay and talking on the phone.

He just wasn’t talking on the phone to me.

I had been frustrated with Nathan because of his silence. Hurt too. Now I was pissed off.

Day six felt official.

*



It was just after five o’clock when I pulled into the apartment complex.

After learning of Syd’s conversation with Nathan, I had wanted to leave right along with my brother when he headed out, but the kids had asked for more time with Sir and Syd had asked for more time with me, so we stayed. It didn’t take much convincing.

If there was ever a time for my children to push for a puppy of their own, now was it. I was shocked they weren’t going there yet.

After leaving Syd, we swung by my office so I could hand in the documents I had been working on. I collected new forms, filings that needed proofing, and spoke briefly to my boss—one of the partners at the firm—then I took us home.

“Any thoughts on dinner?” I asked, driving through the lot.

“No,” Oliver mumbled over Olivia’s, “I don’t care.”

My attitude echoed hers as I pulled into a space and shifted into park. If it weren’t for the kids, I doubt I would’ve cooked anything that night. I had zero desire to eat.

“Mom, look!” Olivia shrieked, startling me. She pointed over my shoulder.

Heart racing and hands gripping the wheel, I focused through the windshield.

Nathan was seated on the steps.





Chapter Twenty-Four





NATHAN




I got to my feet as the kids fled the car, Olivia pushing past Oliver and jumping up onto the sidewalk. She ran at me, smiling and yelling my name.

“Nate! Nate!”

Oliver walked behind her with his head lowered. He wouldn’t meet my eyes. Jenna stood frozen beside the car. I wasn’t sure whose reaction I had been expecting more.

I met Olivia at the bottom of the steps.

“I knew you’d come over! I knew it!”

She launched herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck when I lifted her off her feet and held on with all the strength she had. The pounding of her heart mirrored mine. I was so fucking happy to see them. I rubbed Olivia’s back as we hugged, keeping my eyes on Oliver as he slowly made his way over. He stopped in front of me and stared at the sidewalk.

“Hey, bud.”

“Hey,” he mumbled.

I held out my fist. Oliver glanced up and looked at it for a moment, then quickly bumped his knuckles against mine.

He was feeling something—anger or dejection, maybe both. Maybe a lot of things, and even though he could’ve been reacting to something that had nothing to do with me, I knew it had everything to do with me. I had a lot to fix, to explain. I’d known that coming over here.

“I want to talk to you,” I said, getting Oliver’s attention. “To both of you.” I looked at Olivia when she leaned back. “But I need to talk to your mom first, okay?”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Olivia said.

“Yeah, she’s been crying,” Oliver said sharply. “Like, a lot.”

My gut twisted. I snapped my gaze to Jenna, who was still stuck on the pavement, watching me, watching us, but seemed to realize she hadn’t moved the moment our eyes met.

She blinked, looking down at her keys, then locked her car and stormed over. She was wearing a sleeveless maroon top and those faded cutoff shorts she favored. Her hair fell in thick, dark curls. I imagined it braided earlier like Olivia’s was now. Jenna reached me quickly, her sandals smacking the sidewalk.

“Hi,” I said.

Jesus, was there ever a more loaded word? That hi was so many things. I’m sorry. I missed you. I love you. I need you.

Jenna avoided my stare and glanced between the kids. “Can you guys go inside, please? I need to talk to Nathan.”

“Yeah,” Oliver answered.

Olivia wiggled down. “We already knew that,” she said, giving me a secret thumbs-up against her chest her mother couldn’t see. I smiled at her.

“Here, Oliver.” Jenna handed him the keys.

They climbed the steps together, both of them peering back at me before they reached the door. They disappeared inside the building.

I looked at Jenna. She was already watching me.

“I’m sorry,” I said, needing to get that out first. Fuck, that needed to be said days ago. “I should’ve called you. I wanted to, Jenna. Please don’t think I didn’t.”

She pulled in a breath through her nose. Her chest heaved. “Are you okay?”

“No.” I rubbed at my face. “I don’t know. Not really.” I took a seat on the steps. “Can you sit with me?”

Jenna blinked, sending a tear down her cheek.

Hand on the cement, I was pushing off to stand, to go to her, when she walked over and sat down on the step. She left space between us, two bodies’ worth. Way too much space for me.

“Why are you here right now, Nathan?” she asked. Her eyes were tear-filled. “Why didn’t you call me or come over? Anything. It’s been six days…”