Down Too Deep (Dirty Deeds, #4)(94)

“But why can’t we help them?” Olivia asked as she blinked rapidly behind her glasses to ward off tears. “Why can’t we all be together? We’re supposed to be…” Her bottom lip trembled.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry. Nathan just wanted it to be him and Marley right now.”

Olivia flinched, as if my words physically hurt her. That killed me.

“That’s not fair.” She sniffled and wiped at her nose with the back of her hand, then looked over at her brother as he slid off the couch.

“Hey. Come here.” I reached for him, but he pulled back and slipped around me. “Oliver…”

My son’s disappointment came in the form of silence. He sulked to his bedroom without saying a word and slammed the door shut behind him.

“Can I call him?” Olivia asked.

“No, not right now.”

“Okay. When? Tomorrow?” Her eyes were pleading.

“I don’t know, sweetheart.”

I didn’t know what else to say to her. I couldn’t promise her tomorrow when I had no idea when Nathan would reach out.

I opted for distraction. “Why don’t we do something fun this afternoon?” I suggested. “Anything you guys want. And then don’t forget, tonight is family dinner.”

I knew they would both be looking forward to that. They always were.

Olivia lifted her head and glared at me as she scooted off the couch. “I don’t want to go to family dinner. I’m staying here.” She scooped up her iPad and stormed off.

“Olivia.”

For the second time that day, I was ignored. Oliver’s door opened, slamming behind Olivia after she disappeared behind it. I sighed, hunching forward and digging my fingers into my temples.

I could picture them seated together on Oliver’s bed, comforting each other with words neither of them believed. I wanted to be in there with them, but I gave them their space and busied myself with work instead.

But I couldn’t distract myself completely. I thought about Nathan. How could I not?

It was bad during the day with Oliver and Olivia around, but it was the worst late at night. Surrounded by silence in my bedroom, I worried and wondered. I fought the urge to call. I grew sadder when he didn’t.

On Monday, another day I would have normally watched Marley, I packed our afternoon with activities to keep us occupied. We went to the park and ate a picnic lunch, and then I surprised the kids with tickets to the aquarium. We hadn’t been in more than a year.

“Marley would like this,” Olivia mumbled as she and Oliver admired one of the large tanks filled with brightly colored fish. She gently tapped on the glass. “Right, Ollie?”

Oliver tugged on his sister’s hand. “Come on. Let’s go,” he said, leading her away.

I searched through my bag as I followed them, checking my phone for any notifications I might’ve missed. August in the aquarium was packed with families. Even the noise was noisy. I had a text from Brian saying he missed seeing us yesterday at dinner, and nothing else.

I hid my disappointment behind a smile when the kids looked back.

Later that night, I was sitting on the bed folding laundry when my phone rang.

I shot to my feet and swiped the device off my nightstand, knowing it was Nathan—I was sure of it. And when it wasn’t, I wanted to rip my hopeful heart out of my chest and throw it outside, five stories down. I hated my unyielding optimism.

And worse, I hated feeling disappointment to see Sydney was calling me.

“Hey, Syd,” I answered, plopping down on the edge of the bed. I picked at the hem of my top.

“Hey! How are you?”

“Good.” Good? I was so far from good it wasn’t even funny. “How are you?”

“I’m great! You know, the same really. Not, like, great because of other reasons or anything…Nothing’s going on.”

I could vaguely hear my brother’s voice in the distance. Then Sydney spoke away from the phone. Her voice was muffled.

“Anyway,” she said, clear in my ear again. “I was wondering if you were supposed to watch Marley on Wednesday because, if not, I thought maybe you’d like to come over for lunch. I’m off for the day.”

Wednesday was another Marley day for me. Tomorrow was as well, and even though Nathan still had hours left to call before my plans for the next two days became obvious, somewhere in my mind, where awareness flowered from fear to a fact I could no longer ignore, I already knew I wouldn’t see Marley.

“No. I’m free,” I answered. “I just have some work I’ll need to do in the morning, and then I can come over with the kids.”

“Awesome. Want to do one o’clock? I’m taking Sir to the dog park to meet up with some of his furry friends at eleven. We should be home by then.”

“Yeah, that works. Do you want me to bring anything?”

“I don’t think so. I got it.”

“Okay. I’ll see you Wednesday at one.”

“Hey, Jenna?”

“Mm?”

“Is everything okay? You seem a little off…”

I wanted to tell Sydney what was going on. I could’ve used another opinion, but I also felt like this was a discussion we could save and have face-to-face. I didn’t know if I was up for it tonight.