Dear Heart, You Screwed Me(106)

Killian was in the doorway, leaning up against it as I felt his burning gaze on me. I didn’t give him the satisfaction of looking up. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him.

“Just go,” I whispered to the room, praying he heard me.

He didn’t say anything. He stayed mute.

“Please,” my throat tight as I sniffed, the choked sobs threatening to escape.

“You’re leaving?” his voice splintered through me, not able to resist the pull any longer my head slowly turned to face him. His eyes didn’t meet mine though, they were narrowed and hooded as they focused on my suitcase.

I felt the rush of air leave me; my lips were parted as I tried to find my voice.

I shrugged, but I knew the truth. The harsh reality finally sinking in.

I was leaving and I wasn’t about to let him stop me.

Jumping when I heard the door knock, I sprung from the bed and rushed into the hallway.

Swinging the door open I saw my mum and dad, their smiles fading slightly when they saw my face and Killian standing behind me.

“Everything okay?” my mum asked as she edged past me, dragging my dad along with her.

“Yes, everything is perfect,” I nodded; a fake smile plastered onto my face, “Killian was just leaving.”

“I was?” he whispered as he closed the gap between us.

“You were,” I nodded firmly, my eyes casting up to his and for the first time in a while I felt the connection. I felt his emotions, but most of all I felt his pain.

“Can we talk…” he begged; his voice so low that only I could hear it.

“No,” I managed, a tear rolling down my cheek but before I had a chance to swipe it away, his thumb had for me.

“Don’t do this.”

“I didn’t do anything Killian, you only have yourself to blame for that,” I choked, as I stepped aside so he could leave.

I didn’t turn back to face him, I couldn’t bear to look at him because it hurt too much. The pain that was crashing down on me was unbearable, it was hard to breathe without him but I knew this was what I had to do.

He lingered for a moment, as if waiting to see if I would change my mind but that wasn’t going to happen.

I heard my father approach from behind me, his arm reaching above my head as his fingers wrapped round the edge of the door.

“My daughter asked you to leave,” his voice was firm but not all threatening or demanding. Killian still stood, his eyes glassing over as he watched me. His jaw clenched; I heard his breath slowly leave his lips as he finally gave in. He was waiting for that eye contact; he was waiting for me to bare everything to him again. He was waiting for our souls to connect.

He was waiting for that earth shattering, ground moving moment to spark through both of us like it did on the many occasions at the beginning of our relationship. But I had nothing left to give.

He nodded, edging towards the door and I don’t know why I did it, but I looked up at him and watched a lone tear roll down his cheek as he left.

All I wanted to do was wipe it away, wrap my arms around his neck and tell him I didn’t want to leave and I didn’t want him to leave me.

Because the truth was, I was obsessively and utterly in love with him.





CHAPTER 46





KILLIAN





I had royally fucked up.

I could have made her listen to why I wasn’t there on Saturday but what was the point? She didn’t want to listen. My words would have fallen on deaf ears.

I sat in my office in my apartment, drinking whiskey as I stared into the empty room. Sighing heavily when I heard the front door go, I heard the angry stomps get closer.

Three… two… one…

“What the fuck are you doing?” Connie’s angry voice ripped through me as her poisonous words fired at me.

“Having a drink, what does it look like?” I scoffed as I took another mouthful of the burning amber.

“You’re such a chauvinistic pig,” she shouted as something hit me in the side of the head. I turned to face her before looking at the floor next to me to see her sneaker.

“What the fuck?!” I shouted, slamming my glass down, “You threw your fucking sneaker at me!?”

“Because you’re being a douche.” Connie smirked, leaning up against the door frame.

“Just let it go, Connie.” My voice was gruff as my fingers wrapped back round my glass.

“What like you’re letting Reese go?” her voice was sharp.

I felt my breath catch, the pain searing through me. My stomach coiled, my eyes burning from the constant prick of tears that were forming.

“She doesn’t want me. We’re destruction Connie. If we were meant to work, we would be together.”

Connie let out a cackle before walking towards me, slamming her hands on my desk.

“She does want you. She wants you more than anything but you’re so self-obsessed and focused on everything else around you but her. Fuck, you spent the day and night with Adele instead of being next to her when you promised you would be there for her. Do you not see it? Are you really that fucking naïve?” I could feel the anger Connie was feeling, her words were flying towards me like burning arrows, each one hitting me in the heart and puncturing it, making me bleed.