Dear Heart, You Screwed Me(101)

I nodded.

“They are tears of happiness; I promise,” I reassured him as we walked back towards the party.

“Where is Killian?” my mum asked looking round the room.

“He should be here soon,” I nodded, looking at the door behind me before looking at my watch. He was late. Furrowing my brow, I whisked my mum over to Lara and Katie.

“Mum, Dad, this is Connie’s Moms… Lara and Katie.” I smiled, “Lara, Katie… this is my parents Patricia and Mateo,” I smiled.

“Oh, it’s so lovely to meet you! Thank you for taking such good care of our little girl,” my mum cooed as she gave Lara and Katie a kiss on the cheek.

“And please, call me Matt,” my father insisted as he shook their hands.

“It has been our pleasure; she is part of our family,” Katie grinned at me.

I stood as they spoke amongst themselves, but soon saw my window to leave. “Please excuse me a moment,” I interrupted my mum and Lara’s conversation as I headed towards Connie.

“Have you heard from my dad?” Connie asked as she held her phone to her ear.

I grabbed my phone out my bag and frowned at the blank screen, “Nope, not a word.”

“He isn’t answering,” she sighed, as she cut off.

My skin prickled, my heart dropping from my chest to my stomach as the fear began to smother me.

Flashbacks of the night Elijah died soon flood my memory. What if something had happened to Killian like it did Elijah? I couldn’t lose him too. Maybe I was cursed, maybe everyone I fall in love with is taken away from me.

I shook the thoughts from my mind. No, he was just running late that’s all.

“We need to get started, we only have this room for another hour and a half,” Connie muttered as she angry texted on her phone.

Sucks to be Killian right now.

I nodded, sighing. But she was right. We couldn’t hold off any longer.



After a few party games and baby games everyone was writing down their guesses on the baby’s gender. There was a big, black balloon that had ‘he or she, it’s time to see…’ written on it that sat on a white ribbon before being anchored to the floor with pink and blue balloons.

I stood with my sash over my bump, the needle in my hand as I felt the blood rush to my ears. The thumping was so loud, my eyes scanning the room constantly to make sure he hadn’t sneaked in.

He should be here doing this with me. This was our gender reveal, and he wasn’t here. I was overwhelmed with sadness suddenly, he said he wanted to be here for it all and yet he hasn’t shown.

“You ready?” Connie asked as she held her phone up, my mum was next to her snapping photos.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I nibbled on my bottom lip as I lifted my trembling hand, slowly pulling it back as I lined up the needle.

Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I had to do anything to stop myself from crying over Killian. I was exhausted with it all. Everything had been going so well, it had been going pretty fucking perfect actually.

I could hear the distinct muffle of Connie’s voice as she began counting down from ten…

My eyes moved to the door, silently begging he was going to be here.

Nine.

Why wouldn’t he show?

Eight.

Maybe something had happened to him, it was unlike him to ghost me and Connie.

Seven.

Adele. I swallowed the sickly feeling that crept up my throat.

Six.

No, now I was being stupid.

Five.

He wouldn’t do that.

Four.

Would he?

Three.

Of course, he wouldn’t.

Two.

He is going to show up.

One.

I hesitated for just a moment, staring at the door wishing he’d burst through saying ‘baby I’m here’.

But he didn’t show.

My heart splintered as the realisation began to drip through to me, he wasn’t coming. I went into auto-pilot, pinning a fake smile onto my face as I popped the balloon and watched as the pink confetti floated through the air before it fell to the floor.

I heard the odd surprised gasp, the excited screams that echoed and the tears of joy from my parents.

But none of that mattered.

Because all that mattered was me trying my best not to burst into tears of disappointment that he didn’t make it.

He made a promise.

And then he broke it.

And the worst thing in all of this, was that in this perfect moment of joy and happiness, all I wanted was to share it with Killian.





CHAPTER 44





Once everyone had gone, me and Connie began cleaning up the hall. My mum and dad had headed back to the apartment for a lay down. They got in early this morning and was crashing in the hotel where Connie worked.

“You don’t have to stay,” Connie chimed as she swept up the pink confetti that was all over the wooden floor.

“Of course, I’ll stay. I’m not going to let you tidy by yourself,” I laughed, but all I wanted to do was curl up on my sofa and cry.

I felt like he had broken my heart all over again and I was over it.

I bagged the empty cups and plates into a trash bag, trying to ignore the internal battle with myself. I was arguing at why he didn’t turn up, there must have been some hell of a reason, but then again… he was a prick for not showing.